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This list was selected from 101 Halloween Jokes.

  1. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck!
  2. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?…Lazy bones!
  3. What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing).
  4. What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
  5. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?…A crummy mummy.
  6. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck!
  7. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
  8. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
  9. What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?… Rap music.
  10. What school subject is a witch good at?…Spelling.
  11. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
  12. How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
  13. Where does a vampire keep his money?…In a blood bank.
  14. What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound.
  15. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
  16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?…Frostbite.
  17. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
  18. What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares.
  19. How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!
  20. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?…A pumpkin patch
  21. What pants do ghosts wear?…BOO jeans.
  22. What kind of boat do werewolves like?…blood vessels
  23. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
  24. What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
  25. Why don’t mummies take vacations?…They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.