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As Christmas approaches, we wanted to share a few more seasonal jokes with you. We hope you enjoy.
- Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy.
- What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite
- What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?…A cookie sheet!
- Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank.
- If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe
- What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?…Claustrophobic
- How do elves climb up to the top of Santa’s Castle?…Using an “Elf”-evator.
- Elves use what kind of money?…Jingle bills!
- What would you call the twelfth elf that comes to help other 11 elves in the workshop?…The twelf
- What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?…Welfy
- Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store.
- Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?…Comet!
- Who is rudest reindeer?…”Rude”-olph
- How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?…He looks at his calen-”deer”!
- What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?…Nothing, reindeer can’t talk.
- Which elf was the best singer?…ELFis Presley.
- Why the turkey was asked to join the band by elves?… because he had the drum sticks!
- What is for lunch on Christmas Day for snowmen?…Icebergers!
- How do snowmen travel around?…By icicle!
- How does one snowman greet another snowman?….Ice to meet you.
- What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?…Answer: Brrrr- itos.
- What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?…Cold cash!
- Where does a snowman keep his money?…In a snow bank.
- What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
- If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?…Santa Clues!
- What is the snowman’s breakfast?…Frosted flakes!
- Where the snowman does dances on?…A snow ball!
- What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?…Ice caps.
- When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called?…Santa Pause.
- Do you know any bird that can write?…Pen-guine.
- How do sheep in Mexico greet Merry Christmas?…Fleece Navidad!
- What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
- How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?… A merry Christmas to ewe.
- What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
- How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?”
- What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
- What nationality is Santa?… North Polish!
- What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?… Crisp Cringle!
- What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you!
- What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmastime?… Sandy Claws!
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes!
- Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
- Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem!
- What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?… Ribbon Hood
- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?…It’s Christmas, Eve !
- What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”!
- What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
- Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents?… Santa Paws!
- Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
- What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?…Chill out.
- What does Jack Frost like best about school?…Snow and tell.
- Define claustrophobia…Fear of Santa Claus?
- Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
- A Christmas book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
- What did one snowman say to the other snowman?…Do you smell carrots?
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snow business like show business !
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Wayne…Wayne who?… Wayne in a manger!
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Avery…Avery who?…Avery merry Christmas!
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas!
- Where do polar bears vote?…The North Poll.
- Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?…Because the angel had said, “No L!”
- Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?…You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
- What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
- Why is a reindeer like a gossip?… Because they are both tail bearers!
- Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?… Because they would look silly in plastic macs!
- How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
- Why did the reindeer wear black boots?… Because his brown ones were all muddy!
- How long should a reindeer’s legs be?… Just long enough to reach the ground!
- Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?… Because he didn’t want to be recognized!
- Which reindeer have the shortest legs?…The smallest ones!
- Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them!
- What do reindeer have that no other animals have?… Baby reindeer !
- What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
- What do snowmen wear on their heads?…Ice caps!
- What’s an ig?…An eskimo’s home without a loo!
- What do snowmen eat for lunch?… Icebergers!
- Where do snowmen go to dance?…Snowballs!
- How do snowmen travel around?…By iceicle!
- What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
- How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?… You wake up wet!
- What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite!
- How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
- What’s white and goes up?… A confused snowflake!
- What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you cant beat it!
- What says, “Now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?”…A snowman on a cross walk!
- What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?… A Christmas Quacker!
- What is green, white, and red all over?… A sunburnt elf.
- Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph!
- What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas!
- What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?… The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
- Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.
- Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles.
- Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
- What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?… Santa Claus.
- What’s white and red and goes up and down and up and down?… Santa Claus in an elevator!
- How do you scare a snowman?… You get a hairdryer!
- What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?… Christmas Corals!
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
- What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s burps!
- What do snowmen do on Christmas?… Play with the snow angels.
- Who says “Oh, Oh, Oh!”?… Santa walking backwards!
- What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time?… Santa snores!
- What’s a good holiday tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
- What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night.
- What do you call a snowman in the summer?… A puddle!
- What does Santa clean his sleigh with?… Comet.
- What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?… An ice burger with chili sauce.
- Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
- Why did the candy cane cross the road?… Because it wanted to get a licking!
- What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?… A list of everything you want!
- What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
- What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?… Turkey and Greece.
- Who gives presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws.
- What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?… A sad candy cane!
- What do you call a girl with a Christmas Tree on her head?… Carol.
- What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?… Tinsilitis!
- What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
- Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?… Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.
- What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld Fang Syne!
- What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
- Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?… Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
- What’s Santa’s favorite candy?… Jolly Ranchers!
- What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?… Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
- What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?… Nothing, reindeer can’t talk.
- What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?… Krisp Cringle.
- What is big, red and flies in the sky?… Santa Clause!
- Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG!
- What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
- What is the cleanest reindeer called?… Comet.
- How do you know when Santa’s in the room?… You can sense his presents.
- What did the cow get for Christmas?… A COWculator.
- What’s red and white, red and white, red and white?… Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
- What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam!
- Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after the holidays?… Because everything was marked down!
- Knock knock… Who’s there? … Snow… Snow who? …. Snow use. I forgot my name again!
- Knock knock… Who’s there? … Gladis… Gladis who? … Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
- Knock knock… Who’s there? … Santa… Santa who? … Santa Clause!
- Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
- Knock knock... Who’s there? … Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who? … Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
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