**The Pi Day Joke blog is being sponsored by the Pi Day Challenge. ****the Pi Day Challen****ge**** ****is a series of puzzles that are logic-based. A team of logicians adapted or created these puzzles – some require research, some require mathematics, some require pure savvy. It is a great resource for High School Math teachers and students.**

**Check out 441 Jokes for Teachers!**

**Pi Day Jokes (11)**

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- What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi!
- What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.
- What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?…Pi in the sky.
- Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
- What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.
- In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.
- 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!
- A
**mathematician**, a**physicist**, and an**engineer**are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need.**The mathematician**pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.**The physicist**gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.**And the engineer?**He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up. - The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
- What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!

**Math Riddles (14)**

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- Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?… Because it is too gross (2 x 144 – two gross).
- How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
- How can you add eight 8’s to get the number 1,000? (only using addition) A: 888 +88 +8 +8 +8 = 1,000
- How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
- Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
- When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
- What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?… A half dollar.
- Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
- What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
- Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
- Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8(ate) 9
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.

*Geometry Jokes (33)*

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- What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?… A high-pot-in-use
- What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
- What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree.
- What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
- Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?…
- Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
- What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
- Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
- What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle
- What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?… Hexagon
- Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
- Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
- What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?… They are both coplaners
- How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.142
- What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
- What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
- Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?… They were finding their scale.
- Why won’t the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?… They are too eccentric.
- Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?… They were right for each other.
- Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?… She covers the story from every angle.
- Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?… His parents wouldn’t cosine
- Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?… Coney Island.
- Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?… It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
- Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi
- Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
- What is a proof?.. One-half percent of alcohol.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What do you call a broken record?… A Decca-gone

*Calculus Jokes (21)*

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- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
- What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
- What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
- What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?
- Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
- How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
- What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
- Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
- Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
- What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
- Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
- Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
- What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?…Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
- Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?… Elephant zebra sin theta.
- Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.

**Algebra Jokes (43)
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- Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept?… She thought she’d be stung by the b.
- Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
- What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros”
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
- What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
- Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What is purple and commutative?… An abelian grape
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- Why did the relation need a math tutor? … It failed the vertical-line test.
- How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality.
- Why did the imaginary number turn red?… It ran out of i-drops.
- What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
- How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.
- What did algebra math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation
- Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other?… They were core-relations.
- Why was the matrix arrested?… Illegal entry.
- What do you call a rodent with babies?… A quad-rat-ic parent.
- What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?… A linear programmer.
- Why is the Rational Root Theorem so polite?… It minds its p’s and q’s.
- Why did the polynomial plant wilt?… It’s roots were imaginary.
- How do you know that your dentist studied algebra?… She said all that candy gave me exponential decay.
- How did the chicken find the inverse?… It reflected the function across y = eggs.
- Why did the doctor send the expression to a psychiatrist?… Because it wasn’t rational.
- How can you predict how many protesters will show up at a rally?… By using a radical function.
- Why are you drumming on your algebra book with two big sticks?… Because we are studying log rhythms.
- What do you call a snake after it drinks three cups of coffee?… A hyper boa.
- What is a smart bird favorite type of math?… owl-gebra
- How can you tell when a factorial is enthusiastic?… It’s always enthusiastic- it has an exclamation point!
- What do you call an male algebra teacher who takes his vacations at the beach?… A tan gent.
- What wild animal is good at algebra? … The tangent lion.
- Why are you so negative?… Just take me for my absolute value!
**Teacher:**“What is seven Q plus three Q?”**Student:**“Ten Q”**Teacher:**“You’re Welcome.”**Parent:**Did you study your algebra lesson at the family reunion?**Student:**Sure, it was a function with relations.**Teacher:**Why did your mother and father do your algebra homework?**Student:**They really understand parent functions.**Teacher:**Let’s find the square root of 1 million.**Student:**Don’t you think that’s a bit too radical?**Surgeon:**Nurse! I have so many patients! Who do I work on first?**Nurse:**Simple. Use the order of operations.**Teacher:**Your behavior reminds me of square root of 2?**Student:**Why?**Teacher:**Because its’ completely irrational.- Knock, Knock…. Who’s there?… Polly… Polly who?… Polynomial.
- Four Friends Four friends have been doing really well in their algebra class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it’s time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend’s birthday party in another city – even though the exam is scheduled for Monday morning. As it happens, they drink too much at the party, and on Monday morning, they are all hung over and oversleep. When they finally arrive on campus, the exam is already over. They go to the professor’s office and offer him an explanation: “We went to our friend’s birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we were driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help.” The professor nods sympathetically and says: “I see that it was not your fault. I will allow you to make up for the missed exam tomorrow morning.” When they arrive early on Tuesday morning, the students are put by the professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far apart from each other that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam booklets are already in place, and confidently, the students start writing. The first question – five points out of one hundred – is a simple exercise in algebra, and all four finish it within ten minutes. When the first of them has completed the problem, he turns over the page of the exam booklet and reads on the next one: Problem 2 (95 points out of 100):
**Which tire went flat?**

**Math Jokes (26)**

- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive.
- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
- How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?… Avacado’s Number
- What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots.
- Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?… To get to the same side.
- How do you make seven an even number?… Take the s out!
- Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?…. It’s two gross.
- Why couldn’t the mobius strip enroll at the school?… They required an orientation.
- Why is a math book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?… Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
- Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
- Where do math teachers go on vacation?… To Times Square.
- What do you call friends who love math?… algebros
- What do you call a number that can’t keep still?… A roamin’ numeral.
- Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 9
- What does the zero say to the the eight?… Nice belt!
- Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?… They had nothing in common.
- How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?… Neither has real roots.
- How does a math professor propose to his fiancée?… With a polynomial ring!
- What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?… Snappy answers. Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593!
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.
- What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?… A middle school math problem!
- What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?… A large pizza can feed a family of four
- What did one math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.
**Teacher:**Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?**Student:**You told me not to use tables.

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