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February
- What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash. (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What is a groundhog’s favorite book?… Holes (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?… Ground Nog Day! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- How do you make an egg roll?….You push it.
- What did the math book tell the pencil?….I have a lot of problems.
- What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?… I’m nuts about you! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What did the paper clip say to the magnet?… I find you very attractive. (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?… Ughs and kisses! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What do you call two birds in love?…. Tweethearts!
- What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?… I’m stuck on you! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What do you call a very small Valentine’s?… A Valentiny! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What did the bear say to his Valentine?… I love you beary much! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- How do billboards talk?….Sign language!
- Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
- Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
- When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar
- What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
- What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?….A plain (plane) donut!
- Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!