February Jokes

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Funny Jokes for Each Month / Jokes for Kids A – Z / Sports Jokes A-Z
February Jokes & Joke of the Day: 365 Clean Jokes

1. What month is the best for coffee? …. Feb – BREW – ary (Coffee Jokes)
2. What month is the Jake Paul’s favorite? …. Feb – BRO – ary (Coffee Jokes)
3. What month is the best month to tell a lie? …. Fib -ruary (Coffee Jokes)
4. What month enjoy a beer the most?…. Feb – BREW – ary (College Jokes)
5. What is a frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year.
6. What is a ghost’s favorite month?… Feb – BOO – uary. (Halloween Jokes)
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February 2nd: Ground Hog Day Jokes

1. What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash.
2. What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?… Ground-dog Day! (Puppy Jokes)
3. What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Dog Jokes)
4. What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters!
5. Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?… He was having a bad lair day! (Psychology Jokes)
6. What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?… Ground Nog Day! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)

February 4th: Super Bowl Jokes

1. Why did the NFL football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.
2. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
3. What football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
4. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
5. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.”
6. If you want to sack the Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?… Your fishing tackle. (Top Fishing Jokes)
7. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward.
8. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
9. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker.
10. Did you here about the football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?

February 13th: Pancake Day Jokes

1. Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped. (Top Psychology Jokes)
2. What did the young pancake say to the old burnt pancake?… I don’t like your flip side. (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
3. What do the New York Yankees and pancakes have in common?… They both need a good batter! (Top Baseball Jokes)
4. How do you make a pancake smile?… Butter him up. (180 School Jokes)
5. What’s the best pancake topping?… More pancakes.
6. How do elves eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top Christmas Jokes)
7. How do leprechauns eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top St. Patrick Day Jokes)
8. When the little boy was making pancakes why did the batter run away?… Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
9. Did you know today is Pancake day, apparently it just creped up on us..
10. Thin French pancakes give me the crepes.

February 14th: Valentine’s Day Jokes

1. Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty!
2. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
3. What did one oar say to the other?… “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
4. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s all heart.
5. What did the pencil say to the paper?… I dot my i’s on you!
6. What did the light bulb say to the switch?… You turn me on.
7. Do you have a date for Valentines Day?… Yes, February 14th.
8. “I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”…“Really?”… “Yeah, you make me sick!”
9. What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?… Stick with me and you’ll go places!
10. What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?… They are all better rich! (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Coffee Day Jokes)

February 19th: Presidents’ Day Jokes (update) & Election Jokes (Electoral College: Highest to Lowest by State)

1. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
2. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
3. How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms.
4. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
5. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
6. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln
7. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
8. Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
9. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
10. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!

February 29th: Leap Year Jokes:

1. What do athletes wear on Leap Day?… Jumpsuits.
2. Where do most people eat on Leap Day?… IHOP.
3. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?… Hip Hop.
4. What do the Chinese call the Year of the Frog?… Leap Year.
5. What do you tell a hitchhiker on Leap Day?… Hop In.
6. What is a frog’s favorite time of year?… Leap Day.
7. What do you call a surgery on Leap Day?… A hop-eration.
8. I wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day, but I decided to jump on the band wagon.
9. My coworker was fired on Leap Day, apparently he picked the wrong time to jump off the deep end.
10. I’m going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years.