- Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Head teacher!’ (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
- Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Back to School Jokes)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school, thank your teacher for a great year! (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
- Why did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes for Kids)
- Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free. (Back to School Jokes)
- I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class. (Labor Day Jokes)
- What object is king of the classroom?… The ruler! (Teacher Jokes)
- A book never written: “The Last Day of School?” by Wendy Belring What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?… The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew.” (School Jokes & Gum Jokes)
- Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?… She couldn’t control her pupils! (Biology Jokes)
- What kind of test do student moles like best?… Mole-tiple choice. (Mole Day Jokes)
- What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…Watch the board and I’ll go through it again. (Ghost Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
- Teacher: Why are you late for class?… Student: Because of the sign on the road? Teacher: What sign? Student: School Ahead. Go slow!
- Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the last day of school — no homework ALL SUMMER!
- Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in ink.” (Teacher Jokes)
- Update and Rank
- What object is king of the classroom?…. The ruler!
- Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes)
- What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer! (Top Math Jokes & Top Summer Jokes)
- What is white when dirty and black when clean?…. A blackboard.
- What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons: Letter of the Week & Top Elementary Jokes)
- Why is arithmetic hard work?…. All those numerals you have to carry. (Top Math Jokes)
- What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?…. “I can’t control my pupils!” (Top U.S. Principals)
- Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle?…. There are too many cheetahs! (Top Math Jokes)
- Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?…. Because she had the perfect pitch. (Top Baseball Jokes)
- Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.
- Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?… Times Square. (Top States Jokes)
- What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?…. Smartie Pants!
- Why did the students study in the aeroplane?… Because they wanted higher grades.
- Which building has the most stories?… Library!
- Teacher: If I had ten apples in my right hand and nine in my left, what would I have?… Student: Huge hands! (Top Math Jokes)
- Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water? Student: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: Didn’t you say it’s H to O? (Top Chemistry Jokes & Top Mole Day Jokes)
- What did the ghost teacher say to her class?… “Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.” (Top Halloween Jokes)
- What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?… Getting lost. (Top Geography Jokes)
- What do you call a square that’s been in an accident?… A WRECKtangle. (Top Math Jokes)
- What tools do you need for math?…. MultiPLIERS. (Top Math Jokes)
- Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?… Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight). (Top Math Jokes)
- When is a blue school book not a blue school book?…. When it is read!
- Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?… For tocking too much!
- Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You said we had to do it without tables! (Top Math Jokes)
- Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after the holidays?… Because everything was marked down! (Top Christmas Jokes)
- What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?… The number nine. (Top Math Jokes)
- Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?…. Because her students were bright!
- Teacher: Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages? Student: Because there were so many knights.
- Why was the math book unhappy?…. Because he had too many problems! (Top Math Jokes)
- Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?…. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
- How many letters are in the alphabet?… 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T. (26 Lessons: Letter of the Week & Top Elementary Jokes)
- Teacher: What do you call a fish with no eyes? Student: Fsh
- Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you? Student: Not very much.
- Why doesn’t the sun go to college?…. Because it has a million degrees!
- Teacher: I wish you’d pay a little attention! David: I’m paying as little as I can, teacher.
- Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Maria’s exam. Student: I sure hope you didn’t, either!
- Why did the jellybean go to school?…. To become a smartie!
- What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?…. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
- Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?…. Because he wanted to get to high school.
- What do ducks use for math?… A QUACK-ulator !
Check out: Top 20 April Fool’s Pranks for Families & 365 Jokes: Joke of the Day!
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