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- What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
- What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
- Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on!
- Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish!
- Mark! But do you know where fishes work?… The Offish!
- What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C!
- Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
- Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist.
- What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel!
- Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
- Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
- Why did the #fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
- What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
- What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
- What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
- What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
- What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers.
- What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers!
- What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
- What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels.
- What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
- Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
- Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
- What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
- Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
- What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
- Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
- Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins? It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
- A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
- What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
- Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.
- Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
- What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
- What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw.
- What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty.
- Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”
- Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells
- Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
- Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
- Where do #crabs & #lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
- What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
- How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.