Winter Olympics Jokes: Alpine Skiing Jokes

by | Feb 1, 2022 | Uncategorized

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  1. Knock… Who’s there?… Woo… Woo, who?… Who are you cheering for in the Winter Olympics in Beijing? (Winter Olympics Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Winter Olympics jokes.
  3. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Winter Olympics?
  4. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Winter Olympics knock-knock joke?
  5. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Winter Olympics knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  6. A book never written: “The Olympic Trials” by Willy Qualify. (Book Jokes)
  7. What did the groundhog’s trainer tell him before the Winter Olympics?… Gopher gold. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  8. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Winter Olympics in Beijing? (Winter Olympics Knock Knock Jokes)
  9. A book never written: “How to Win at the Winter Olympics” by Vick Tori. (Book Jokes)
  10. Why do Canadians do well in the Winter Olympics?… Because they always bring their eh Game. (Canada Jokes)
  11. The Easter Bunny joined the Olympics… He heard first place gets 24 carrots. (Easter Jokes)
  12. Why was the Winter Olympian not able to listen to music?… Because he broke the record! (Music Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  13. The anti-vax Olympic hockey team lose every game…. Apparently they never take any shots. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  14. What did the hot dog say when it won a gold medal?… I’m a wiener! (Hot Dog Jokes)
  15. Why do Canadians do well in the curling at Winter Olympics?… Because they always bring their eh game. (Canada Jokes)
  16. Which country brought the most competitors to the 2022 Winter Olympics?… Brazil. They brought 8 Brazilian athletes.
  17. Say what you want about skiing… ..but the sports going downhill, FAST!
  18. A book never written: “The Alpine Skiing Olympic Trials” by Willy Qualify.
  19. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Alpine Skiing?
  20. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Alpine Skiing knock-knock joke?
  21. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Alpine Skiing knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)

(Skiing Jokes)

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about skiing.
  2. Say what you want about skiing… ..but the sports going downhill, FAST!
  3. What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke!
  4. How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… 2, one to change the bulb and one to say “Nice turn, nice turn!”
  5. I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.
  6. Ski Pun: I used to be a professional ski athlete… It just went downhill from there. (
  7. Ski Pun: Don’t get into skiing… It’s a slippery slope.
  8. Ski Pun: Old skiers go downhill fast.
  9. Ski Pun: I figured out why ski resorts are so funny… They’re hillareas.
  10. Ski Pun:Ski lifts always chair me up.
  11. Somebody asked me recently why I took up downhill skiing… I told them uphill skiing was far too difficult.
  13. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about skiing?
  14. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good skiing knock-knock joke?
  15. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good skiing knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  17. I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit… It was downhill from there.
  18. I was at a ski resort for a psychiatry convention… I’ve never seen so many Freudians slips.
  19. I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast.
  20. The skiing trip started well but after I lost my glove at the top of one of the slopes.. it was downhill from there.
  21. How can you make a small fortune teaching skiing?… Start with a big one!
  22. How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… A dozen. One to unscrew the bulb and the rest to analyze the turns.
  23. My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900… The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.
  24. I warned him about starting his own ski resort… It’s a slippery slope. (Skiing Jokes)
  25. What did one skier say to the other?… Alpine for you when you’re gone. (Skiing Jokes)
  26. What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?… Alp! (Skiing Jokes)
  27. What do skiers use to correct their mistakes?… Whiteout.
  28. How do snowboarders introduce themselves?… “Sorry dude”
  29. How many telemark skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?… Two. One to turn the build while the other says “nice turns brah!”
  30. How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?… Pay him for the pizza.
  31. What do skiers get from sitting on the snow too long?… Polaroids
  32. How do you know when a ski instructor walks into the room?… Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.
  33. “You know what Telemarking means in Norwegian?… Wait for me!”
  34. What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a mutual fund?… Eventually the fund will mature and make a little money!
  35. What do you call a ski bum who has broken up with his girlfriend?… Homeless!
  36. What do you call a ski bum who has broken up with her boyfriend?… Homeless!
  37. Why are ski respirts so funny?… Because they’re hill areas.
  38. Why are mountains so funny?… Because they’re hill areas.
  39. What do skiers eat for lunch?… Icebergers
  40. How can you make a small fortune learning how to ski?… Start with a big one.
  41. Where does a skier keep his money?… In a snow bank.
  42. How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… A dozen. One to unscrew the bulb and the rest to analyze the turns.
  43. What do skiers eat for breakfast?… Frosted Flakes.
  44. What is a skiers favorite type of candy?… Snow caps.
  45. What kind of parties do skiers go to?… Snowballs.
  46. What do skiers call their list of things they want to do in their lifetime?… Brain Bucket list
  47. What do you get when you cross a skier and a vampire?… Frostbite.
  48. Why was the skier taken to the hospital?… He hurt his ski bum.
  49. How does a skiers get to work?… By icicle.
  50. A novice skier often jumps to contusions.
  51. I retired from skiing… My skills were just going downhill.
  52. Which skiers wear the biggest boots?… The one with the biggest feet!
  53. Why was Cinderella such a bad alpine skier?… Her ski instructor was a pumpkin.
  54. Which movie is a favorite of downhill skiers?… “The Little Mermaid” because it has Aerial in it.
  55. What do ski repairmen eat their meals on?… Baseplates
  56. Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?… They’re great at carving.
  57. Why did the dairy farmer move to a ski area?… He heard that skiers do milk runs.
  58. Why did the stock broker go to the ski resort?… He wanted to meet moguls.
  59. Why did the beginner skier go to the pet store?… He was told he needed salopettes.
  60. Why did the skier always expect the worst when he reached the top of the mountain?… knew it was all downhill from there…
  61. How do skiers correct their typing mistakes?… White out!
  62. What do skiers like most about school?… Snow and tell.
  63. How do skiers get to work?… By icicle.
  64. Why did the skier only wear one boot?… He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.
  65. What happened when an icicle landed on the skiers head?… It knocked him out cold.
  66. Why did the farmer bring cattle to the ski mountain?… He heard it was the best place for steers (sounds like skiers).
  67. What do you call the heels on ski boots? … Ski lifts.
  68. Why aren’t skiers fun to be around when they’re going up a mountain on a lift?… Because they’re always looking down on you.
  69. Financial tip: Don’t invest in skiing companies… The entire sport is going downhill fast.
  70. Why are scrambled eggs like a losing alpine skier?… Because they’ve both been beaten.
  71. What do you call a monkey who wins an Olympic gold medal for downhill skiing?… A chimpion.
  72. Three snowboarders are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving?… The police.
  73. What is the difference between God and a Ski Schooler?… God doesn’t think he’s a Ski Schooler…
  74. What’s the difference between a ski bum and a pizza pie?… The pizza can actually feed a family of four.
  75. I am getting snow board of mountains… please may we stop skiing.
  76. When I went to France to learn how to ski… I even needed Alp getting on the chairlift.
  77. I had been feeling quite down for the beginning of the skiing trip, all until I got to the top of the run… It was just the lift I needed!
  78. Some guy I know from school just brushed past me without a skiing jacket on… I think he was giving me the cold shoulder.
  79. After I did my first ski jump my dad patted me on the back and said “I glove you.”
  80. My friend had his birthday out on the slopes during our skiing trip, so we all sang ‘Freeze a jolly good fellow!’
  81. Alpine for the slopes once I am back home.
  82. I was skiing so fast down the slopes and crashed into a drift at the bottom… It was a total whiteout!
  83. I wasn’t meant to be going on the skiing trip with my parents but I hid in the back of the car. When we arrived they called me the snowaway.
  84. I didn’t realize how good I would be at going down the slopes… I thought I had peaked when I rode the chairlift.
  85. If you aren’t cracking a smile while skiing on the mountain then you need to have a little change in altitude!
  86. During ski season… I try to keep a snow profile.
  87. No matter what happens when skiing… the snow must go on.
  88. When you are as fast and as experienced a skier as me, the snow conditions can really make a difference… I always say with great powder comes great responsibility.
  89. After a long day out skiing, I want to go to a snowball so I can dance like snowbody’s watching.
  90. I was easily sled in the wrong direction when I was younger, but now I snow where to go myself.
  91. I snow full well my skiing skills have a long way to come.
  92. For those in the snow, skiing can be pretty easy.
  93. When skiing on the beginners slope, I am such a snow burn.
  94. Why do I feel so good when my life and all my friends are going downhill?
  95. Why go to the beach?… I’d rather be by the ski-side.
  96. We want better snow!… Powder to the people!
  97. To ski or not to ski, that’s a no-brainer.
  98. I’m taking it ice and easy on my first time skiing.
  99. Skiing Pick-up Line: I can’t take my ice off you!
  100. Ski Pun: Ski you later.
  101. Ski Pun: I’m never board, because I always ski.
  102. I recently got very addicted to skiing… My doctor told me I’m going down a slippery slope
  103. Ski Pun: I have to take care of my mental well-skiing.
  104. Ski Pun: I am a snowboarder at heart, going skiing is an absolute last resort!
  105. Ski Pun: I’m going down this hill like there’s snow tomorrow.
  106. A friend and I got into a fight on a ski lift… It was an uphill battle.
  107. Ski Pun: I am snowboard of all the skiers in this resort.
  108. Ski Pun: I made the switch to snowboard because I knew I was going down a slippery slope with skiing.
  109. Ski Pun: Last time I went to the slopes was at Christmas… It really was the ski-son to be jolly.
  110. Ski Pun: When I make new friends on the ski slopes I say, “Ice to meet you.”
  111. Ski Pun: Every snow often I like to go skiing.
  112. Ski Pun: Okay, so there’s a beginners slope here, there’s intermediate there, there and there, and snow on and snow forth.
  113. Ski Pun: Out on the slopes in the morning, it’s frost come, frost served.
  114. Ski Pun: My local ski slopes are looking for winterns to make tea.
  115. Ski Pun: I’d like to ski across the whole white world.
  116. Ski Pun: Frost impressions matter out on the slopes!
  117. Ski Pun: Why wait until spring to go skiing?… There’s snow time like the present!
  118. Ski Pun: I have only been skiing once or ice before.
  119. Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a skiing accident?… He ended up being all right.
  120. How do Jewish skiers greet each other?… Slalom.
  121. I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt… I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.
  122. Why shouldn’t you let somebody who just got out of rehab go skiing?… Because it’s a slippery slope.
  123. What do you call three Russians skiing down a small hill?… A Triple Low Ski.
  124. What does a blind man use to ski?… A skiing eye dog.
  125. I went skiing yesterday. It was fun but I broke arm… I guess skiing has its downsides.
  126. What is a beer enthusiast’s favorite kind of skis?… Brew-skies!!
  127. As I got off the chairlift, I came to the realization that skiing is not for me… It all went downhill from there.
  128. What is the difference between a ski instructor and a skiing student?… 3 days.
  129. What is a skiers favorite game?… Ice Spy with my little eye…
  130. Why did the Ski Instructor want a divorce?… Because he thought his wife was a flake.

PG-13 jokes

  1. How can you make a small fortune teaching skiing?… Start with a big one!
  2. What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a mutual fund?… Eventually the fund will mature and make a little money!
  3. How do snowboarders introduce themselves?… “SORRY DUDE”
  4. What is the last thing a snowboarder ever says?… “Dude, watch this!”