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What It Takes to Raise a Genius: 8 Lessons from the Polgar and Williams Sisters
“I always believe I can beat the best, achieve the best. I always see myself in the top position.” — Serena Williams
Nature versus nurture, the age-old debate. Are geniuses born or made? And more importantly, is there anything you can do to help your kid become one?
Although there’s evidence for both sides, recent research in epigenetics and brain plasticity seems to provide a compelling case for what the right kind of education or environment can do.
Two remarkable families, one from Hungary and another from the US, provide clues that could help ambitious parents write the blueprint for their kids’ success. Today we are going to explore what their parents did right and what you can do too, to perhaps raise the next genius.
Vision and Planning
What do chess and tennis have in common? Although quite different at quick glance, both require strategic thinking, mental toughness, and tons of preparation and study. The success stories of the Polgar and Williams sisters all began and stem from two very different and yet similarly-minded fathers.
The Polgar: Laszlo Polgar, a Hungarian psychologist, firmly believed that geniuses were made, not born. His conviction was that with the right environment and upbringing, any healthy child could excel in any field. The problem was, he didn’t have kids. So naturally, when he started courting his wife, Klara, the first thing he did was tell her about his plan. His charms worked, they got married, and in 1969, Susan was born, followed by Sofia in 1974, and Judit in 1976.
Laszlo ended up choosing chess as a means to test his theories. He meticulously planned his daughters’ education and upbringing, creating a world that revolved around chess, their house filled with chessboards, books, and puzzles. His vision was clear — his children would excel in chess.
The Williams sisters: On the other side of the globe, another man, equally visionary, shared a similar dream for his unborn offspring. Inspired by watching Virginia Ruzici, a Romanian tennis player, win a $20,000 check in a tennis tournament, Richard Williams decided that his kids would grow to be tennis champions. The problem was, he knew nothing about tennis. That wasn’t a problem for long, though. Richard learned everything he could about the sport, created a detailed plan for his future children, and then all that was left was for Serena and Venus to be born, and the rest is history.
The Value of Early Exposure
The Polgar sisters: Susan and Sofia started learning chess when they were only 4 years old, and Judit, born when Laszlo’s system was fully operating, started playing even before that. Laszlo and Klara provided structured lessons and plenty of opportunities for the girls to practice. As the girls progressed, so did Laszlo’s expectations for them. They started playing with much older grandmasters and participating in both local and international tournaments, defeating much older competitors. The early and rigorous exposure set by their father played a crucial role in their chess prodigy status.
The Williams sisters: Venus and Serena were not much older than toddlers when their father began their training. Venus was only 4 while Serena was 3 years old. Being from a working-class family, their resources were limited, and their training sessions took place on the public courts of Compton, California — a challenging environment that taught the girls to be resilient and focused.
The girls’ training was rigorous, to say the least. They would practice for hours on end, starting at dawn to avoid the harsh sun. Their practice involved countless drills aimed at mastering the basics such as perfecting their strokes, footwork, and court awareness. But their physical wasn’t the only thing being trained; Richard was training the girls to be mentally tough, as he anticipated the racism and classism they would face when competing on the court.
To protect their mental health, he taught them to analyze their opponents’ weaknesses and maintain composure under pressure. This well-rounded skill set proved invaluable in the years to come.
The family’s financial constraints forced Richard to be creative. He collected discarded tennis balls and old tennis rackets and repaired them himself so the girls could play. Despite the limitations, he created a demanding environment that didn’t fall short of what awaited his girls in professional tennis. His relentless drive to see his daughters succeed and unwavering faith in their potential played a major role in their development as tennis prodigies.
Balancing Structure and Freedom
The Polgar sisters: Although their lives revolved around chess, chess wasn’t the only thing in the Polgar sisters’ lives. The girls were also free to explore their interests and develop at their own pace. Their education, although unique, was nevertheless well-rounded, involving language learning, piano practice, and swimming lessons. This balance between highly focused practice and relaxing activities not only helped prevent burnout but also ensured their excitement and passion for chess would prevail.
The Williams sisters: In the Williams family case, Oracene played a significant role in ensuring that the girls would have a ‘normal’ life. Besides playtime, Venus and Serena excelled academically and, when older, started pursuing other interests such as fashion and business. This balance of work and play allowed them to stay motivated and passionate about tennis while exploring other opportunities. They were encouraged to envision a life for themselves outside tennis, which made them successful on and off the court.
Supportive and Loving Environment
Both families emphasized their daughters’ well-being above their success. In the Williams case, if the girls were hurt or if their academic performance started suffering, tennis would take a backseat. In the Polgars’ case, chess training was made engaging and fun, and the sisters’ value and love received from their parents were independent of their performance in tournaments. In both families, the mothers played a major role in providing a warm and stable emotional environment where the girls could thrive. Both families ensured that their kids felt loved regardless of how well or poorly they played.
High Expectations and Ambition
Laszlo believed in his daughters more than anything. This belief in their potential, along with their structured training, helped instill in them a strong work ethic and a competitive spirit. The focus wasn’t simply on winning but on developing mastery and never stopping improving.
Richard was equally ambitious and, like Laszlo, he communicated to his daughters what he believed they could do. The mere fact that those Black kids were playing tennis was an accomplishment in itself, but for Richard, Venus and Serena were capable of much more. They were not playing to compete but to dominate the tennis world. He didn’t merely tell them that they could be great; he believed and told them that they could be ‘the best in the world’. But if they wanted to do that, preparation was key, and Richard’s mantra “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” was a constant reminder of what it takes to reach the top.
Challenges and Public Perception
The path to greatness is never easy, and for the Polgar and Williams families, it was no different. From skepticism, criticism, sexism, poverty, and racism, there were plenty of challenges that could have ruined their game.
For the Polgar family, homeschooling wasn’t even allowed in Hungary when Laszlo set out to educate his girls at home. He eventually got government approval, but his unconventional education curriculum drew plenty of criticism. Even though the critics were partly silenced by the girls’ success, sexism in chess never ceased to be a problem. Judit, despite being one of the greatest chess players in the world, often had her achievements dismissed because she was a woman. She would, of course, prove them wrong. One of the men she would silence was the Russian grandmaster Garry Kasparov, who was quoted as saying, “I guess that chess is, in its essence, a man’s game. A woman’s place is in the home.”
Judit, however, knew that a woman’s place is wherever she wants to be, and when she was only 25 years old, she proved just that. In 2002, she defeated the reigning world chess champion Kasparov in a rapid game, becoming the first woman in history to do so. Despite his grudge against women in chess, Kasparov referred to Judit after the game as a tiger, recognizing her competitiveness and skill. Her victory served as an inspiration for women worldwide, highlighting that intellect and talent transcend gender barriers.
The Williams sisters faced equally formidable obstacles. Growing up in Compton, their training environment was far from the elite clubs where the greats before them had access to. Richard’s faith in his daughters’ potential and his bold statements about their future greatness were often met with disdain. They were not only poor but Black, and the racist and classist tennis environment was a constant reminder of both. The idea that those Black girls would grow up to take over the sport’s scenario was unfathomable for many. Their success not only silenced the racist critics but also inspired a generation of athletes from modest backgrounds to dream big and conquer the world.
Both families demonstrated resilience in the face of public scrutiny and social issues. The Polgar family showed that a focused yet unconventional education could produce world-class results, while the Williams sisters proved that with determination and the right support, racial and financial obstacles are no barriers to greatness. Their journeys remind us of the importance of perseverance and resilience in achieving excellence.
Key Lessons Learned
The stories of the Polgar and Williams sisters provide valuable insights into what it takes to raise a genius. Parents eager to see their kids fulfill their potential can learn the following lessons:
Lesson 1: Have a clear vision, plan extensively
Both Laszlo and Richard had a clear vision for their children’s success and crafted detailed plans on how to achieve it. Laszlo envisioned his daughters as chess prodigies and planned their education and training around chess. Likewise, Richard, inspired by a tennis match, drafted a plan to turn his daughters into tennis champions. Both cases demonstrated a compelling vision and meticulous planning.
Lesson 2: The earlier the better, and deliberate practice is a must
Susan, Sofia, and Judit Polgar were introduced to chess when they were only 4 or younger, and despite their young age had structured chess lessons and plenty of practice opportunities. Venus and Serena started their tennis training when they weren’t much older than toddlers, having daily, rigorous practice. The consistency and intensity of their training helped them eventually excel in their fields.
Lesson 3: Love comes first — Support and Love foster growth
Without a loving and supportive environment, there would be no intrinsic motivation to keep the kids through the ups and downs of their respective fields. Both families balanced the rigor of their specialized education with emotional support, familial love, and playtime. The Polgars strived to instill intellectual curiosity in their daughters through a warm and gamified environment, while the Williams were a close-knit family, where a traditional mother figure counterbalanced the rigor of the father’s training. In both cases, emotional stability was crucial to sustain the girls’ passion and perseverance.
Lesson 4: Setting high expectations teaches your kids to be ambitious
High expectations and their parents’ faith in them drove the Polgar and Williams sisters to strive for excellence. Laszlo’s expectations fostered a strong work ethic and competitive spirit in his daughters. Richard taught Serena and Venus to be ambitious, believing and making them believe they could dominate the tennis world. Those kids trusted themselves because their parents did first.
Lesson 5: Work hard, but also play hard
Despite the specificity of their skills and the rigor of their training, both the Polgar and Williams girls were free to explore other interests, which helped them maintain their passion. The Polgars had languages, music, and swimming. The Williams had fashion and business. This balance was essential to keep them motivated and passionate about their pursuits.
Lesson 6: Teach your kids to be resilient
Girls from both families had it tough. The Polgars had to prove themselves over and over in a male-dominated chess world, while the Williams had to confront racism and classism in tennis. Hadn’t their parents prepared them for it, they would have easily quit.
Lesson 7: Active parenting is vital
Both fathers were directly involved in coaching and educating their kids. Laszlo provided most of his daughters’ training, involving other grandmasters as the girls’ expertise increased. Richard coached Venus and Serena himself in their early years, later seeking professional coaches and trainers. This hands-on approach and tailored training were paramount.
Lesson 8: Strive for a well-rounded education
While both the Polgar and Williams were raised to become experts in a highly specific domain, their education was rich and diverse. Both the Polgar and Williams girls grew up to be well-rounded, happy, and successful women, in and out of chess and tennis.
All parents want what is best for their kids. Yet many of them are afraid that by pushing their kids too much or setting high expectations, it might be harmful to their emotional well-being. Although understandable, that’s a nonsensical concern. Your kids will grow to believe they are capable of doing what you believe them capable of. So have faith in your kids, aim high, and teach them to be ambitious. Draw a vision for your kid’s success, then draw your blueprint on how to get there. Start early, the earlier the better. Strive for excellence and push them to become the best they can be, but never forget to shower them with your unconditional love and support all along the way.
About the Author:
Julia Bacelar is a passionate writer and dystopia enthusiast who explores technology and society through an anthropological viewpoint. Fluent in Portuguese, English, and French, she contributes insightful articles on education, technology, and personal development. Julia is the author of the upcoming novel series “2052,” a political thriller set in a dystopian future. She also writes for Medium, where she shares her knowledge and experiences with a growing audience. Connect with Julia on Medium and follow her on Twitter @juliabacelar21.
