My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Top Joke Pages:

More Watermelon Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best watermelon jokes.
  2. Who is a watermelon’s favorite singer?… John Cougar Mellen-camp. (365 Music Jokes)
  3. A watermelon proposes to its sweetheart: “Honeydew want to get married?” “Oh yes”, she replies, “but we cantaloupe!” (Wedding Jokes & Cantaloupe Jokes)
  4. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe the World’s largest watermelon is 350 pounds(Canoe Jokes)
  5. If there is watermelon why isn’t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. You know…the four elemelons. (Chemistry Jokes)
  6. Why are watermelons the saddest fruit?… Because they’re melon-cholic! (Psychology Jokes)
  7. When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  8. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?… You’re one in a melon! (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  9. You know what they say about when life gives you melons?… You might be dyslexic.
  10. Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?… It’s pit-iful!
  11. Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon during the exam… She couldn’t really put her finger on it. He just looked a little seedy. (Jokes for Teachers)
  12. Where does the Roman stop eating his watermelon?… At the Rhine.
  13. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?…  Because they cantaloupe. (Cantaloupe Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  14. What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a watermelon all go to?… A John Cougar Melon Camp. (Watermelon Jokes & Music Jokes)
  15. I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I canteloupe. (Wedding Jokes)
  16. Ice Cream Flavors honoring Richard Nixon… ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate.’ (Election Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
  17. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes?…  a waterfelon. (Police Jokes for Kids)
  18. What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?… Watermolens! (Mole Day Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  19. What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon?… Post Melone. (Music Jokes / Mailman Jokes / Postal Worker Jokes)
  20. The watermelon is 50% water. The other 50% is melon.
  21. What do you call a serial killer watermelon?… A slaughter melon. (Police Jokes)
  22. Why are watermelons such good entrepreneurs?… They always have seed money. (Labor Day Jokes)
  23. What did the fruit write on his Valentine’s card?… You’re one in a melon! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  24. Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?… He was trying to grow a water-melon. (Farming Jokes)
  25. Why did the watermelon go crazy?… He lost his rind. (Psychology Jokes)
  26. What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?… A Melon Collie. (Dog Jokes)
  27. Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?… They’re always melon it over.
  28. Why are watermelons such good gossips?… They have all the juice.
  29. I have a head like a watermelon, the arms like two baguettes, and the body of toilet paper – what am I?… Banned from the supermarket!
  30. How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?… Melon D’OH.
  31. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?…  Pork rinds. (Pig Jokes)
  32. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (Graduation Jokes)
  33. Why are watermelons the saddest fruit?… They get melancholy. (Psychology Jokes)
  34. Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?… They’re seedy. (Labor Day Jokes)
  35. Kevin threw one watermelon at Andres, what does Andrew have now?… A concussion. (Doctor Jokes)
  36. Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?… It wanted to become a watermelon. (Swimming Jokes)
  37. Farmer’s patch There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, “Now there are two!” (Farming Jokes)
  38. What do you do if someone says an onion is the only food that can make them cry?… Throw a watermelon at their face.
  39. Watermelons are the most philosophical fruit… Cause they’re like, “Watermelons.” (Psychology Jokes)
  40. What do you get when you slice a watermelon in four pieces?… A quartermelon! (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  41. Why did one melon divorce the other melon?… He didn’t know water problem was. (Divorce Jokes)
  42. Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon?… They have a strange smelon.
  43. Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?… John Cougar Mellen-camp. (Summer Camp Jokes)
  44. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about watermelons?
  45. Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin?… It had melonoma. (Doctor Jokes)
  46. Why did the watermelon get left at the altar?… Because his fiancee cantaloupe. (Wedding Jokes)
  47. Do you know what you call the outside of a watermleon?… Rind of.
  48. Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?… It was a slaughter melon. (Police Jokes)
  49. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good watermelon knock-knock joke?
  50. How are a car and a bicycle similar?… You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them. (Car Jokes & Bike Jokes)
  51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good watermelon knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  52. Math the only world were you can buy 140 watermelons without your motives being questioned. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  53. What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe?… You’re one in a melon.
  54. Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?… It was melondramatic.
  55. My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry…. I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.
  56. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe marry a watermelon and a honeydew melon? (Canoe Jokes)
  57. What did the watermelon say when the honeydew asked it to run away together?… We cantaloupe! (Wedding Jokes)
  58. A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon and says “honey, I love you and I just can’t wait to get married. Let’s just run off to the farmers market and get it done.” And the melon says, “baby I love you too, but I just cantaloupe.” (Wedding Jokes)
  59. A farmer is having trouble with the boys in town eating his watermelons. So he posts a sign that says, “one of my watermelons is poisoned.” The next day he wakes up and finds a sign next to it. “Now 2 are poisoned.”
  60. I have 20 watermelons and you has none. I threw one watermelon at you, what does you have now?… A concussion.
  61. (Doctor Jokes)
  62. “I wish I had the money to buy a million watermelons…” “What will you do with a million watermelons?” “I don’t want the watermelons, I just want the money.”
  63. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?… Pork rinds. (Pig Jokes)
  64. Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?… It wanted to become a watermelon. (Swimming Jokes)
  65. Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?… Now he’s a waterfelon.
  66. (Police Jokes)
  67. I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life. (Cemetery Jokes)
  68. What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when it proposed?… Sorry, I cantaloupe. (Wedding Jokes)
  69. What do you get when you cross a watermelon with broccoli?…A melon-coli snack!
  70. What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa?… Hottermmelon.
  71. Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon?… They have a strange smelon.
  72. Why did the Honeydew princess stay and marry Duke Watermelon instead of running off with her true love?… She cantaloupe.
  73. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you make a watermelon salad? (Canoe Jokes)
  74. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you make a watermelon ice cream? (Canoe Jokes)
  75. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you make a watermelon sandwich? (Canoe Jokes)
  76. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe a watermelon marry a cantaloupe? (Canoe Jokes)
  77. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you grow a watermelon? (Canoe Jokes)
  78. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe plant a watermelon seed? (Canoe Jokes)
  79. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spit a watermelon seed far? (Canoe Jokes)
  80. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spit a watermelon seed? (Canoe Jokes)
  81. Where did Harry Styles go to school?… Watermelon Sugar High.
  82. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you bring watermelon to the picnic? (Canoe Jokes)
  83. Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?… John Cougar Mellen-camp
  84. How do you get water into a watermelon?… You plant it…in the spring!
  85. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you put some watermelon in my lunch? (Canoe Jokes)
  86. What did the watermelon say when the honeydew asked it to run away to Vegas and get married?… Sorry I cantaloupe.
  87. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you carry a watermelon to the party? (Canoe Jokes)
  88. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you carry a watermelon to the car? (Canoe Jokes)
  89. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you cut the watermelon? (Canoe Jokes)
  90. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe cut me a piece of watermelon? (Canoe Jokes)
  91. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe cut me another piece of watermelon? (Canoe Jokes)
  92. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe eat a whole watermelon? (Canoe Jokes)
  93. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe there are 101 Watermelon Jokes? (Canoe Jokes)
  94. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe make me a watermelon cocktail(Canoe Jokes)
  95. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe make me a Watermelon Mint Mojito?
  96. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe make me a Watermelon Martini?
  97. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe make me a Vodka Watermelon Cocktail?
  98. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe make me a Watermelon Paloma?
  99. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe make me a Watermelon Limeade Cocktail?
  100. Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?… Because they cantaloupe. (Wedding Jokes)
  101. What type of fruit has babies in a red house, a red house in a white house, and a white house in a green house?…  A watermelon! 
  102. Why did one melon break up with the other melon?… He didn’t know water problem was.
  103. What’s the difference between a watermelon and a baby’s head?… I don’t know! I’m asking you! (Baby Jokes)