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Top Joke Pages: (Watermelon Jokes)

More Watermelon Jokes…

  1. A watermelon proposes to its sweetheart: “Honeydew want to get married?” “Oh yes”, she replies, “but we cantaloupe!” (Wedding Jokes & Cantaloupe Jokes)
  2. Why are watermelons the saddest fruit?… Because they’re melon-cholic! (Psychology Jokes)
  3. When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  4. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?… You’re one in a melon! (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  5. Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon during the exam… She couldn’t really put her finger on it. He just looked a little seedy. (Jokes for Teachers)
  6. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?…  Because they cantaloupe. (Cantaloupe Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  7. What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a watermelon all go to?… A John Cougar Melon Camp. (Watermelon Jokes & Music Jokes)
  8. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes?…  a waterfelon. (Police Jokes for Kids)
  9. What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?… Watermolens! (Mole Day Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  10. Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?… He was trying to grow a water-melon. (Farming Jokes)
  11. Why did the watermelon go crazy?… He lost his rind. (Psychology Jokes)
  12. What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?… A Melon Collie. (Dog Jokes)
  13. What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon?… Post Melone. (Music Jokes / Mailman Jokes / Postal Worker Jokes)
  14. Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?… John Cougar Mellen-camp
  15. What did the fruit write on his Valentine’s card?… You’re one in a melon! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  16. Why are watermelons such good gossips?… They have all the juice.
  17. Why are watermelons such good entrepreneurs?… They always have seed money. (Labor Day Jokes)
  18. What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?… A Melon Collie. (Dog Jokes)
  19. Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?… It’s pit-iful!
  20. A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon and says “honey, I love you and I just can’t wait to get married. Let’s just run off to the farmers market and get it done.” And the melon says, “baby I love you too, but I just cantaloupe”
  21. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?…  Pork rinds. (Pig Jokes)
  22. What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when it proposed? Sorry, I cantaloupe.
  23. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (Graduation Jokes)
  24. Why are watermelons the saddest fruit?… They get melancholy. (Psychology Jokes)
  25. Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?… They’re seedy. (Labor Day Jokes)
  26. You know what they say about when life gives you melons?… You might be dyslexic.
  27. John threw one watermelon at Tim, what does Tim have now?… A concussion. (Doctor Jokes)
  28. The watermelon is 50% water.The other 50% is melon.
  29. I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I canteloupe. (Wedding Jokes)
  30. What type of fruit has babies in a red house, a red house in a white house, and a white house in a green house?…  A watermelon! 
  31. Farmer’s patch There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, “Now there are two!” (Farming Jokes)
  32. What do you call a serial killer watermelon?… A slaughter melon.
  33. What do you do if someone says an onion is the only food that can make them cry?… Throw a watermelon at their face.
  34. Why did one melon break up with the other melon?… He didn’t know water problem was.
  35. Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?… They’re always melon it over.
  36. Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?… It was a slaughter melon.
  37. Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?… It was melondramatic.
  38. Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon?… They have a strange smelon.
  39. The watermelon is 50% water… The other 50% is melon.
  40. Do you know what you call the outside of a watermleon?… Rind of.
  41. Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?… Because they cantaloupe.
  42. What’s the difference between a watermelon and a baby’s head?… I don’t know! I’m asking you! (Baby Jokes)
  43. Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin?… It had melonoma. (Doctor Jokes)
  44. Why did the watermelon get left at the altar?… Because his fiance cantelope. (Wedding Jokes)
  45. Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?… It wanted to become a watermelon. (Swimming Jokes)
  46. What did the watermelon say when the honeydew asked it to run away together?… We cantaloupe! (Wedding Jokes)
  47. What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe?… You’re one in a melon.
  48. My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry…. I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.
  49. Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?… It wanted to be a watermelon.
  50. Ice Cream Flavors honoring Richard Nixon… ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate.’
  51. How are a car and a bicycle similar?… You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.
  52. If there is watermelon why isn’t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. You know…the four elemelons. (Chemistry)
  53. A farmer is having trouble with the boys in town eating his watermelons. So he posts a sign that says, “one of my watermelons is poisoned.” The next day he wakes up and finds a sign next to it. “Now 2 are poisoned.”
  54. I have 20 watermelons and you has none. I threw one watermelon at you, what does you have now?… A concussion.
  55. Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin?… It had melonoma.
  56. “I wish I had the money to buy a million watermelons…” “What will you do with a million watermelons?” “I don’t want the watermelons, I just want the money.”
  57. How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?… Melon D’OH.
  58. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?… Pork rinds
  59. Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon.
  60. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?… Because they cantaloupe.
  61. Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?… Now he’s a waterfelon.
  62. I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
  63. What do you get when you cross a watermelon with broccoli?…A melon-coli snack! What do you get when you slice a watermelon in four pieces?… A quartermelon!
  64. What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa?… Hottermmelon.
  65. Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon?… They have a strange smelon.