Top 50 Winnie the Pooh Jokes

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Check out the Top 25 A.A. Milne Quotes!

1. What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin.
2. What did Winnie-the-Pooh say to Jerry Maguire?… “Show me the Honey!”
3. What does Winnie-the-Pooh and Jabba the Hutt have in common?… The same middle name.
4. What does Pooh wear to bed?… POOH-jamas
5. What did Winnie-the-Pooh say when he was offered dessert?… “No thanks, I’m stuffed.”
6. What does Pooh walk on?… His bear feet.
7. What do you get when you cross a Pooh with a honey jar?… A very sticky situation!
8. What do you get if you steal Winnie-the-Pooh’s honey?… A nice clear table.
9. What does Winnie-the-Pooh have in common with his pots of honey?… They are both round.
10. Why is Pooh so sweet?… He eats lots of honey!
11. What does Pooh do when he is on skates and he wants to stop? … He crashes!
12. What is the job of Winnie the Pooh’s father?… POOHlice! He is a Poohliceman.
13. What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?… Honey!
14. Why did Eeyore cross the road?… He wanted to find his tail.
15. How many bears does it take to empty a honey pot?… Only one if it’s a Pooh Bear!
16. What is Winnie-the-Pooh’s mom’s name?… Pooh jour mama.
17. Winnie-the-Pooh is so fat… How fat is he?… Winnie-the-Pooh is so fat that when he stepped on the scales it said “To be continued…”
18. What did Pooh say when he stepped on a skunk cabbage?… Stink, stink, stink.
19. What do you get when you cross a honey pot with Winnie-the-Pooh?… An empty honey pot!
20. What does Winnie-the-Pooh say when he cries?… Pooh-hoo.
21. What ship are Tigger, Pooh, Piglet, Owl, Rabbit, Gopher, and Christopher Robin sailing on?… Friendship!
22. How many Pooh Bears does it take to screw in a light bulb?… One. Pooh inserts the light bulb, then waits for the rest of the story to revolve around him.
23. Whats the first thing Pooh says when he gets home?… Hi Honey, I’m home!
24. Why is Winnie-the-Pooh yellow?… Because he eats a lot of honey!
25. What will Winnie say when he is a Magician?… Poohffff!
26. Why do the bees choose to sting Pooh?… Because he is stuffed with hunny.
27. Why was Pooh’s head wet?… Because he had a brain storm.
28. Who does Winnie-the-Pooh have a crush on?… Honey!
29. What dessert does Pooh always eat when he is empty?… Fluff! Pooh Bears are supposed to be stuffed with fluff!
30. Who has blond hair, wears green, and robs from the rich to give to the poor?… Christopher Robin Hood!
31. What does Winnie say when he sneezes?… Ahh-ahh-POOH!!!
32. What do you get if you cross Winnie-the-Pooh and a honey pot?… A chubby tummy.
33. Why does Eeyore’s house keep blowing away?… He’s a terrible housekeeper.
34. How does Eeyore keep losing his tail?… By sitting on it.
35. Why can’t Pooh rob a bank?… He would only steal the honey and not the money.
36. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Winnie-the Winnie-the who?… Silly… It’s not Winnie-the-who… It’s Winnie-the-Pooh!
37. What does a corn stalk and Rabbit have in common?… They both have big ears.
38. Why is Pooh’s wife jealous?… Pooh comes home with a new honey everyday!
39. What do you get when you cross Winnie and a honey tree?… Bee stings on his bottom!
40. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Pooh… Pooh who?… Well you don’t have to cry about it!
41. Where does Winnie-The-Pooh like to swim the most?… In his honey pot!
42. What flavor of honey does Pooh like best?… Any kind.
43. Why is Tigger so bouncy?… He eats spring onions!
44. What’s the difference between Gopher and Winnie-the-Pooh?… Gopher can get out of a hole.
45. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Winnie-thup… Winnie-thup who?… You’ve got it! Winnie-the-Pooh!
46. Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Tigger. Tigger who?… Knock, Knock! Who’s there?… Tigger. Tigger who?… Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Winnie-the-Pooh. Winnie-the-Pooh who?… Aren’t you glad I didn’t say Tigger again!
47. Why is Winnie-the-Pooh always smiling?… Because he has the honey stuck all over his mouth.
48. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… That’s … That’s who?… Thats re-dikorus!
49. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Winnie-the-Pooh… Winnie-the-Pooh who? … Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger Too!
50. Winnie, Piglet, Eeyore, and Tigger are all firemen and they get a call but the fire engine only holds 2 people. Where do they sit?… Winnie and Piglet in the front, Tigger on the back, and Eeyore on the top shouting “eeyore, eeyore, eeyore!!!!!!!!!”
51. Why does Tigger smell?…. You’d smell too if you played with Pooh all day!