Top 50 New York Jokes

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Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the BEST jokes about New York in the World. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?… New Yolk City! (Egg Jokes)
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite state capital? … Albunny, New York! (Easter Jokes for Kids)
Where do eggs go for summer camp?… New Yolk City! (Summer Camp Jokes & Egg Jokes)
Where do ghosts like to go swimming?… Lake Erie. (Ghost Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
Where do New York City middle school students learn their multiplication tables?… Times Square. (New York Jokes & Math Jokes)
Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time’s Square …… and year after year, they drop the ball. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
What do the New York Yankees and pancakes have in common?… They both need a good batter! (101 Baseball Jokes & Pancake Jokes)
Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?… Times Square! (Math Jokes)
Where do cows go on vacation?… Moo York. (Cow Jokes)
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… It can’t sit down.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?…Yes – a building can’t jump at all. (Turkey Jokes)
Who gets travel sick when he tries to destroy New York?…The Green Goblin! (Spiderman Jokes for Kids)
What state do dogs like?… New Yorkie. (Dog Jokes)
What do you call a group of cows that judge a book?… The Moo-York-Times!
What did the New York flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
If the New York Knicks were chasing the New York Yankees team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.” Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 4th of July Jokes)
What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps. (Top Winter Jokes)
Why can fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.
Did you hear about the power outage in the New York library?… Thirty people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (Top 4th of July Jokes)
What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler. (Top 4th of July Jokes)
What did the sea say to the Long Island Shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
What do Derek Jeter and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
Did you hear about the map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.
How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Top Teacher Jokes)
What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Hudson River!
What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
Where do you find the Atlantic Ocean without water?… On a map! (Top Geography Jokes)
What is the tallest building in New York?… The New York Library of course, it has the most stories!
Where do New York fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Hudson River.
Why does the Phil Simms know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend.
What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The New York Turnpike!
What’s in the middle of the (Atlantic) ocean?… Letter E! (Top Geography Jokes)
What do Babe Ruth and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: New York. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Boston! (Top Teacher Jokes)
If a plane crashed on the border of New York and Connecticut, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Top Geography Jokes)
What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Hudson River! (Top Geography Jokes)
If the Brooklyn Nets were chasing the New York Mets team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
If the the New York Yankees were chasing New York Knicks, what time would it be?… Nine after five. (5:09)
If the the New York Mets were chasing Brooklyn Nets, what time would it be?… Nine after five. (5:09)
What was the Yankees favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (Top 4th of July Jokes)
Why do pigs go to New York City?… To see the Big Apple. (Bacon Jokes)
State has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “D”
What did Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in South Carolina)
What is the tallest building in?… Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the . (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The River!
What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
If a plane crashed on the borders of where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
A couple in Montana had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Baby Jokes)
A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Montana plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
Why did the [state] teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
Why did the [state] teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
Why did the [state] teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
Why did the [state] teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
What did [state] see?… the same thing Arkansas.
Where do cows go for summer camp?… Moo York. (Summer Camp Jokes & Cow Jokes)

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