Top 50 California Jokes

by | Aug 15, 2021 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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More California Jokes…

  1. What did San Andreas say when the earthquake hit California?… My fault. (California Jokes)
  2. During 2020 & 2021 with Covid, what happened when the smog lifted over Los Angeles?… UCLA. (Covid Jokes)
  3. California is looking to eradicate a once popular item. Apparently it was the last straw. (Earth Day Jokes)
  4. California geologists aren’t perfect, they have their San Andreas faults. (Geography Jokes)
  5. Where in California does everyone have minty fresh breath?… Sacra-mentos. (Candy Jokes)
  6. Where do waffles go on vacation?… Sandy Eggo. (Travel Blogs & Egg Jokes)
  7. What’s California’s favorite band?… Earth Wind and Fire. (Music Jokes)
  8. What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map. (Geography Jokes)
  9. Fortunately the California earthquakes were a bit out in the desert so not many people got hurt. But a few snakes were rattled. (Earthquake Jokes & Snake Jokes)
  10. If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state. We’d have a prime number of states and finally be “one nation, indivisible.” (Prime Day Jokes & Math Jokes for Teachers)
  11. What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?… UCLA. (Earth Day Jokes)
  12. What do Magic Johnson and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Basketball Jokes)
  13. What did the ground say to the California earthquake?… You crack me up! (Geography Jokes / Earthquake Jokes / California Jokes)
  14. Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?… Holly-wood! (Christmas Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  15. What’s in the middle of the Pacific (Ocean)?… Letter C (or E)! (Geography Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  16. What did California say to Baja California?… Nothing. They just shook! (Earthquake Jokes)
  17. Did you hear about the California owl conspiracy network?… They’re allegedly calling themselves the “ca-hoots.” (Bird Jokes)
  18. If the LA Lakers were chasing the San Francisco Giants, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05) (Baseball Jokes & Basketball Jokes)
  19. What is the tallest building in the California?… The Los Angeles Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  20. Where do you find the Pacific Ocean without water?… On a map! (Geography Jokes)
  21. Why can West Coast fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales. (Fishing Jokes)
  22. It’s getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. “It was pump #5,” I replied. (Police Jokes & Car Jokes)
  23. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Sacramento River! (California Rivers)
  24. Did you hear the joke about Mount Whitney?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & California Mountains)
  25. What do you get if you drop a waffle on a Southern California beach?… A sandy Eggo! (Waffle Jokes)
  26. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: California. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in California! (Top Teacher Jokes)
  27. Why don’t you see penguins Monteray Bay Aquarium in Great Britain?… Because they are afraid of Wales! (Geography Jokes & Whale Jokes))
  28. What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes)
  29. Did you hear about the map of California that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian. (Geography Jokes & Library Jokes)
  30. What did the California flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  31. Did you hear about the California Girls that went to Disneyland?… They were driving down the freeway and saw a sign Disneyland Left; so they went home. (Disney Jokes)
  32. During 2020, Why were many celebrities including Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton all hospitalized yesterday in Los Angeles?… An apparent allergic reaction to fresh air!
  33. Where do find missing angels?… Lost Angeles.
  34. Why does the Joe Montana know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend.
  35. If a plane crashed on the border of California and Oregon, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes)
  36. Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii) (Hawaii Jokes)
  37. Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?… There was a power outage, and twelve California Valley Girls were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
  38. What does California need in order to have 100% renewable energy by 2045?… 40 million generators. (Earth Day Jokes)
  39. Why did the California teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  40. Can you name the capital of California?… “C” (Grammar Jokes)
  41. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The California Freeway Turnpike! (Car Jokes)
  42. What do Steve Young and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes)
  43. What do you call a group of California Highway Patrolmen with chewing tobacco?… CHiPs and dip.
  44. Did you hear about the two California Valley Girls who froze to death in a drive-in movie?…They went to see “Closed for the Winter.” (Movie Jokes)
  45. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The San Joaquin River! (Geography Jokes)
  46. .What did Lake Tahoe say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in California)
  47. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Sacramento River. (Ten Longest Rivers in California)
  48. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The River!
  49. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River Significance! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  50. Why does California have so many lawyers and New York has so much garbage?… New York had first choice. (Lawyer Jokes)