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More Veterans Day Jokes…
- The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.” “Thank you very much, sir.”
- I asked my veteran friend what the first ranking is in the military, but I couldn’t get a straight answer… He just kept telling me it’s private.
- Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel. (Popcorn Jokes)
- During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. “Your car stuck, sir?” asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside. “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. “Yours is.”
- Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?… They always end up in the bunker. (Golf jokes)
- A famous Admiral and an equally famous General were fishing together when a sudden storm hit. When it died down both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The Admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the General, using an oar. Catching his breath, he puffed: “Please don’t say a word about this to anyone. If the Navy found out I can’t swim I’d be disgraced.” “Don’t worry,” the general said. “Your secret is safe. I’d hate to have my men find out I can’t walk on water.” (Fishing Jokes)
- A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: “I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. “Put up your hand if you are the laziest.” When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: “Why didn’t you raise your hand?” The man replied: “Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge.”
- A Drill Sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said: “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied: “Not me, Sarge…no sir! “I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line.”
- At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused: “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?” (Track Jokes)
- Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! (Coffee Jokes)
- What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)