My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!
Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes…
- Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, ‘I bet you don’t know what day this is?’ ‘Of course I do,’ he answered indignantly, as he slammed the door, and drove to his office. At 11 o’clock, the doorbell rang. The wife answered, and there at her front door was a UPS driver, in his had was a box containing 12 red roses. Later, at 2 pm there was another knock at the door, this time it was a deluxe box of Belgian chocolates. Eventually the husband came home, tired after a hard day’s work. His wife greeted him by saying: ‘First the flowers, then the chocolates, I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!’ (Ground Hog Day Jokes & Breakfast Jokes)
- I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, “I bought you an awesome Valentine’s Day gift! xox” I really hope she spelled “Xbox” wrong.
- What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?… “We’re a perfect match.”
- In France people give each other white roses on Valentine’s Day because they surrender their love to each other
- Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine’s day, he couldn’t help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes. By now Mike’s curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, “I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” “But why?” asked Mike. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied.
- Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent. (Wedding Jokes)
- A book never written: “Guide to Love” by Val N. Tines. (Book Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
- A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?” (Frog Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
- “If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms. Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to marry.” “Why?” asked the man, smiling. “I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!” she replied. (Wedding Jokes)
- “I asked my girlfriend if we could make our own Valentines. She tore my valentine in half!” the boyfriend said half-heartedly.