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- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
- What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?… A croaking device.
- Why don’t the Borg go to prison?… Because they obey the Lore!
- Why did the Borg cross the road?… Because it assimilated the chicken!
- Have you heard the new Klingon army motto? Join the Klingon army. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them!
- Where do the Borg eat fast food?… At their local Borger King!
- Why was Star Trek so successful?… It had good Genes.
- How many ears does Picard have?… Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.
- What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve? … When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.
- What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?… Worf Speed.
- Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?… They have engaged the Borg. :
- How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?… ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.
- How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?… Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000
- How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?… All of them!
- How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.
- How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.
- What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?… Execute it for failure.
- What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby?… Sewing, because the captain says “Make it so”.
- What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?… Execute him for cowardice.
- Have you read the book “The Positronic Brain”?… It’s by: Anne Droid
- Have you read the book “Chekov: The Navigator”?… It’s by: I. Kiptin
- What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one?… Hoisted by our own Picard.
- Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise?… Piccard told Riker to “Make it sew, Number One.”
- How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?… Wave to him.
- What did the first officer answer when Picard asked “Why did you let Troi win at poker?” “Because I Riker.”
- What is Thomas Riker’s dating philosophy?… “If at first you don’t succeed, try Troi again.”
- Why can’t Klingon kids play in sandboxes?… Cats keep trying to cover them up.
- What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?… “Captain, we are being hailed.”
- Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert?… He never forgets a phaser.
- What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan?… Spocktacles
- Why did the Klingon cross the road?… To conuer the other side.