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Check out our list of 101 Great Quotes for Moms!

  1. What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
  2. What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!”
  3. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep!
  4. Mom, what is it like to have the best child in the world?… I don’t know, go ask your grandparents.
  5. Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry.
  6. A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He answered, ‘Call for backup.’
  7. What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?… “We’re gonna have a BB!”
  8. Son: Why is a computer so smart?… Mom: It listens to its motherboard.
  9. Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
  10. Dad: Why did you chop the joke book in half? Son: Mom said to cut the comedy.
  11. Mom, why did the chicken cross the road?… I don’t know, go ask your dad!
  12. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?… Because their kids have to play inside!
  13. Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!
  14. How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?… It was way past its threadtime!
  15. Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
    But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
  16. Son: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all. Dad: How do you know? Son: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.
  17. Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous? Mother snake: Yes, son.Why? Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!
  18. Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!