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Top Joke Pages: 180 School JokesFamily Joke of the DayMay Jokes for Kids

Top 10 May Pages / May Hashtag of the Day

  1. Did you hear the joke about International Workers’ Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  2. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. (Barber Jokes)
  3. I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. (Doctor Jokes)
  4. I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.
  5. I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it. (US History Jokes)
  6. I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class. (180 School Jokes)
  7. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
  8. I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered. (Funny Jokes for Each Month)
  9. I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.
  10. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s International Workers Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today “International No-Workers Day”?’

“It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own.” Harry S. Truman

Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn’t have the right altitude.

My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job. (101 Sports Jokes)

I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.

I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung. (101 Sports Jokes)

Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.

I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.

I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.

I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.

I sold origami, but the business folded.

After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business. (Donut Jokes for Kids)

I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.

I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.

I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.

I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.

I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.

Did you hear the joke about International Workers’ Day?… It works for me!

So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!