Tampa Bay Jokes

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Latest News, School Jokes

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(Tampa Bay Jokes)

(Florida Jokes)

  1. What is the weather channel’s favorite NHL hockey team?… The Tampa Bay Lightning. (Rain Jokes & Stanley Cup Jokes)
  2. “I told him, we are not discussing changing our city’s name until he brings home that Lombardi Trophy. So Tom and I will have that discussion in due time. Yes, we will talk about that, changing ‘Tampa,’ since we are becoming a title town, to ‘Tompa Bay.’ We’ll have those discussions.” Tampa Mayor Jane Castor (Super Bowl Jokes)
  3. My friend bought tickets for the Super Bowl LV on February 7th 2021 in Tampa Bay not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. So if someone is interested… The church is in Rochester, the women’s name is Clarissa. (Wedding Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
  4. What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common?… Loud fans. (Ocean Jokes / Plane Jokes / Hockey Jokes)
  5. Why is it easy to get into Florida?… Because there are so many keys.
  6. Why are all the unemployed in Palm Beach County, Florida sitting on the dock?… An elections official said he needed help to count votes, and they all thought he said he needed help to count boats. (Fishing Jokes & Election Jokes)
  7. Where do the pianists go for vacation?… Florida Keys.
  8. Do you know who would be a great spokesperson for the Florida Keys?… Alicia Keys.
  9. It’s 70 degrees for maybe two months. Then April comes and the old people leave.
  10. Everyone loves grandmas. Until they are in front of them on the road.
  11. Top 3 things Florida is famous for 1. old people. 2. “stand your ground” laws. 3. recounts. (Election Jokes)
  12. Hurricanes don’t scare us. Until it’s too late to run.til it’s too late to run. (Hurricane Jokes)
  13. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes)
  14. Florida: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  15. How come every weird story about jail happens in Florida?
  16. Florida: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  17. Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary! (Grammar Jokes & Utah Jokes)
  18. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Baseball Jokes)
  19. Florida is so hot that people crowd around fire to cool down.
  20. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the Florida shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  21. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Florida shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  22. They call Florida the “Sunshine State,” which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes – when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.
  23. Can you the capital of Florida them?… “F”
  24. What did Lake Kissimmee say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Florida)
  25. What is the tallest building in?… Florida Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes & Florida Public Libraries)
  26. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
  27. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the St. Johns River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Florida)
  28. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Suwannee River!
  29. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Apalachicola River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  30. What’s the best thing to come out of Gainesville?… I-75
  31. If a plane crashed on the borders of Florida and Georgia (Alabama) where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  32. What do you call Wall-E’s cousin who cleans floors?… Floor-E duh!
  33. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Florida. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Florida! (Teacher Jokes)
  34. Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Florida Mountains)
  35. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Florida Resident: “No, not yet.”
  36. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Florida Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  37. Where do Florida elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  38. Where do Florida middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  39. Where do Florida high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  40. Did you hear about the power outage at the Florida State University library? A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  41. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Florida plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  42. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  43. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  44. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  45. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  46. What did Florida see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  47. Whenever I hear a scientist say Jupiter is uninhabitable I always just assume they’re talking about the city in Florida.
  48. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  49. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  50. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  51. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  52. What did Florida see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  53. Whenever I hear a scientist say Jupiter is uninhabitable I always just assume they’re talking about the city in Florida.
  54. What does the average Florida State University student get on his SAT?… Drool.
  55. Where do bakers go on vacation?… Orlandough.
  56. Whats the difference between the Florida Gators and cheerios?… One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
  57. Why do Florida students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  58. How do you make University of Florida cookies?… Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
  59. How many Florida State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  60. How did the Florida Seminole die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him!
  61. How do you get a man in Floridian to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes..
  62. You won’t find a Jacuzzi in Florida, because if a Floridian wanted to suffocate themselves in hot steam they would just walk outside.
  63. Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for Hell.
  64. Floridians like to say there aren’t roaches in Florida – there’s just “palmetto bugs.” If you don’t know what the difference between a roach and a palmetto bug is – a palmetto bug is a roach with wings that’s large enough to carry away screaming children from their mothers’ arms.
  65. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Florida.
  66. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Florida to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 1993.
  67. How many Justices are there on the Florida Supreme Court?… No one knows. They are not finished counting yet!
  68. I don’t know what goes on at the DMV in Florida but I’m pretty sure they just tell you not to drive into canals and they snap your picture – a hideous picture, which Floridians usually have to show the police officer after they drive into their first canal.
  69. Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for Hell.