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101 Halloween Jokes

  1. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?… A pumpkin patch. (Halloween Jokes)
  2. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.” (Halloween Jokes)
  3. What is the #1 Halloween band?… Smashing Pumpkins.
  4. What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi. (Top Pi Day Jokes)
  5. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the pumpkin drop?… Because he had no body to go with.(Top Biology Jokes)
  6. Who did Dracula bring to the pumpkin patch?… His ghoul friend. (Top Back to School Jokes)
  7. What do skeletons say before they start to eat pumpkin pie?…Bone appetite. (Top Biology Jokes)
  8. What do ghosts serve for Halloween dessert?… pumpkin I scream. (Halloween Jokes)
  9. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
  10. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?…A plumpkin!
  11. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd. (The Best (& Worst) School Jokes)
  12. What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?…Cut it out!
  13. When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?… When you drop it; then it’s squash!
  14. Why do Jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?…You’d have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
  15. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?… It had no guts!
  16. Why were the two pumpkins so close?…They had deep roots!
  17. How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?… With a pumpkin patch!
  18. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?… Squash! (Sports Jokes for Halloween)
  19. Where does the Jack-o-lantern go to get his horrors?… A pumpkin soup factory!
  20. Who is the most scare monster for a Jack-o-lantern?…The fairy godmother!
  21. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (3.1428571428571428571428571428571) (Top Pi Day Jokes)
  22. How did one Jack-o-lantern make himself happy?… He cut a smile out of his face!
  23. What do you call a pumpkin carved to look like cow?… Jerk-O-Lantern!
  24. Why did the pumpkin cross the road?… It fell off the wagon!
  25. Why was Cinderella not very good at boxing?… Because her coach was a pumpkin!
  26. What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern?… A Plumpkin!
  27. What did the pumpkins study at school?… Math!
  28. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?… Did you get bitten by a zombie?
  29. What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?… “That was filling.”
  30. What kind of romances do pumpkins have?… Mushy! (#1 Valentine’s Day Joke)
  31. What vegetable does a pumpkin turn into when an elephant steps on it?… Squash!
  32. What do pumpkins eat at ball games?… Pulp Corn!
  33. What does a pumpkin tiger do?… Stalk its prey!
  34. What did the pumpkin say to his girl friend?… I seed you with another guy.”
  35. What’s orange and goes putt-putt-putt?… An Outboard Pumpkin!
  36. When asked how he was, what did the pumpkin reply?… “I’m vine, thank you.”
  37. Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?… So she could hide in the pumpkin patch!
  38. Why did the little pumpkins cross the road?… To go to school!
  39. What’s orange and flies?… Super Pumpkin!
  40. What did a mad pumpkin say to his enemy?… “I’ll stem on your foot!”!
  41. Who put the orange in Halloween?…  A Jack-o-lantern!
  42. Why is A Jack-o-lantern just like Buddha?… They both have an inner light!
  43. What time does a Jack-o-lantern eat?… Once you carve out its mouth!
  44. Why is a Jack-o-lantern orange?… Health and safety!
  45. Why is a Jack-o-lantern orange?… So you don’t trip over it!
  46. Why are Jack-o-lanterns so orange?… A diet of orange juice!
  47. Why do Jack-o-lanterns look up to scarecrows?… They have been looking up to them since they were pumpkins!
  48. Why do Jack-o-lanterns sit outside a house?… They have no hands to knock on the front door!
  49. What kind of night lights do vampires like to use?… A Jack-o-Lantern!
  50. How did the Jack-o-Lantern win the science prize?… A light went on in his head! (Top Science Jokes)