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- What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?… A pumpkin patch. (Halloween Jokes)
- What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.” (Halloween Jokes)
- What is the #1 Halloween band?… Smashing Pumpkins.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi. (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the pumpkin drop?… Because he had no body to go with.(Top Biology Jokes)
- Who did Dracula bring to the pumpkin patch?… His ghoul friend. (Top Back to School Jokes)
- What do skeletons say before they start to eat pumpkin pie?…Bone appetite. (Top Biology Jokes)
- What do ghosts serve for Halloween dessert?… pumpkin I scream. (Halloween Jokes)
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
- What do you call an overweight pumpkin?…A plumpkin!
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd. (The Best (& Worst) School Jokes)
- What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?…Cut it out!
- When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?… When you drop it; then it’s squash!
- Why do Jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?…You’d have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
- Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?… It had no guts!
- Why were the two pumpkins so close?…They had deep roots!
- How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?… With a pumpkin patch!
- What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?… Squash! (Sports Jokes for Halloween)
- Where does the Jack-o-lantern go to get his horrors?… A pumpkin soup factory!
- Who is the most scare monster for a Jack-o-lantern?…The fairy godmother!
- What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (3.1428571428571428571428571428571) (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- How did one Jack-o-lantern make himself happy?… He cut a smile out of his face!
- What do you call a pumpkin carved to look like cow?… Jerk-O-Lantern!
- Why did the pumpkin cross the road?… It fell off the wagon!
- Why was Cinderella not very good at boxing?… Because her coach was a pumpkin!
- What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern?… A Plumpkin!
- What did the pumpkins study at school?… Math!
- What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?… Did you get bitten by a zombie?
- What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?… “That was filling.”
- What kind of romances do pumpkins have?… Mushy! (#1 Valentine’s Day Joke)
- What vegetable does a pumpkin turn into when an elephant steps on it?… Squash!
- What do pumpkins eat at ball games?… Pulp Corn!
- What does a pumpkin tiger do?… Stalk its prey!
- What did the pumpkin say to his girl friend?… I seed you with another guy.”
- What’s orange and goes putt-putt-putt?… An Outboard Pumpkin!
- When asked how he was, what did the pumpkin reply?… “I’m vine, thank you.”
- Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?… So she could hide in the pumpkin patch!
- Why did the little pumpkins cross the road?… To go to school!
- What’s orange and flies?… Super Pumpkin!
- What did a mad pumpkin say to his enemy?… “I’ll stem on your foot!”!
- Who put the orange in Halloween?… A Jack-o-lantern!
- Why is A Jack-o-lantern just like Buddha?… They both have an inner light!
- What time does a Jack-o-lantern eat?… Once you carve out its mouth!
- Why is a Jack-o-lantern orange?… Health and safety!
- Why is a Jack-o-lantern orange?… So you don’t trip over it!
- Why are Jack-o-lanterns so orange?… A diet of orange juice!
- Why do Jack-o-lanterns look up to scarecrows?… They have been looking up to them since they were pumpkins!
- Why do Jack-o-lanterns sit outside a house?… They have no hands to knock on the front door!
- What kind of night lights do vampires like to use?… A Jack-o-Lantern!
- How did the Jack-o-Lantern win the science prize?… A light went on in his head! (Top Science Jokes)