School Jokes: Elementary School Jokes for Teachers

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  1. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  2. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?… In the kindergarden. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  3. Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools!
  4. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology andU.S. History)
  5. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level!
  6. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
  7. What is a witch’s favorite class?… Spelling (Is Spelling Important? phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid)
  8. Why did the students study in the airplane?…. Because they wanted higher grades.
  9. Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?… Because it was always sweeping during class!
  10. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school
  11. Teacher: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s Friday!
  12. What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?… He has only one pupil.
  13. Why was school easier for cave people? …  Because there was no history to study!
  14. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions.
  15. Best school book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.
  16. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
  17. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school.
  18. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?… She had bright students!
  19. Best back to school book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
  20. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High school
  21. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler.
  22. Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?… Student: At the great airports!
  23. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?… Knight school.
  24. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys…. Gladys, who?… Gladys the weekend—no homework!
  25. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Top Winter Jokes)
  26. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer! (Top Summer Jokes & Top Summer Jobs for Teachers)
  27. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You said we had to do it without tables! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  28. Why did the student eat his homework?… Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  29. Son: Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Son: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
  30. What did the dentist give to the high school marching band?… A TUBA toothpaste.
  31. What three candies can you find in every school?… Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
  32. Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?… He wanted to see time fly
  33. Why is a math book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.(Top Jokes for Math Teachers).
  34. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance?… He didn’t have anybody to take. (any BODY) (Top Biology Jokes)
  35. Why was the biology book in the hospital?… Because it hurt his spine. (Top Biology Jokes)
  36. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?… To reach the high notes.
  37. Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
  38. PUPIL: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” TEACHER: “Of course not.” PUPIL: “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”
  39. Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?… Because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  40. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?… Expla-nation.
  41. Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.
  42. Teacher: If I had ten apples in my right hand and nine in my left, what would I have?… Student: Huge hands! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  43. Teacher: I wish you’d pay a little attention! David: I’m paying as little as I can, teacher.
  44. How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Top Geography Jokes)
  45. Mom: What did you do at school today? Son: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Son: That’s right!
  46. Why was the principal worried?… Because there were too many rulers in school!
  47. Why did the student take a ladder to school?… Because he/she was going to high school!
  48. A son came home from his first day of school and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”  “Not enough,” he replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”
  49. What is a chalkboard’s favorite drink?… hot chalk-olate!
  50. Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?… Because she sprained her angle!
  51. What do you call a music teacher with problems?… a trebled man.
  52. Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water? Student: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: Didn’t you say it’s H to O (Top Chemistry Jokes)
  53. What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots. (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  54. I heard they put a new wing on the school… That is true, but it still won’t fly.
  55. How did the school custodian die?… He kicked the bucket.
  56. What gets white as it gets dirty?… Chalkboard.
  57. Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus.
  58. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?… Because it’s basic material.
  59. Teacher: Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages? Student: Because there were so many knights.
  60. What did one math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
  61. Teacher: Can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed? Student: At the bottom.
  62. What do a chicken and a high school band have in common?….They both have drum sticks!
  63. Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you? Student: Not very much
  64. Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Maria’s exam. Student: I sure hope you didn’t, either!
  65. Son: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea. Son: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
  66. Teacher: Why did you eat your homework? Student: Because I don’t have a dog
  67. If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?… A delicious fruit salad.
  68. A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?… In jail
  69. Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.

 

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