New Jersey Jokes

by | Dec 18, 2025 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

Google Search “New Jersey Jokes”

New Jersey was admitted as a state to the union on December 18, 1787.

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best New Jersey jokes.
  2. Delaware Jokes: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! 
  3. Christmas Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most popular Bruce Springsteen Christmas songs?
  4. Delaware Jokes: Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey. What will Delaware?… Idaho, Alaska.
  5. Delaware Jokes: What did Delaware?… A New Jersey.
  6. George Washington Jokes: I finally realized why the painting of Washington crossing the Delaware is such a big deal… It depicts the last time someone willingly entered New Jersey.
  7. In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who’s a homeless man from New Jersey… Hobo Ken. (Barbie Jokes)
  8. A guy from New Jersey bought a search engine and some fireworks… He bought-a-bing and bought-a-boom. (Fireworks Jokes)
  9. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in New Jersey?… Because New Jersey drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  10. March Madness 2023: How did the #15 Princeton Tigers get to the Sweet 16 beating #2 Arizona and #7 Missouri?… They scratched and clawed.  (New Jersey Jokes)
  11. March Madness 2023: How did #16 Fairleigh Dickinson upset #1 Purdue?… Not really sure. I guess it just was their knight. (Knight Jokes & New Jersey Jokes)
  12. March Madness 2023: How did the #1 Purdue fans react to the loss to #16 Fairleigh Dickinson? … They were boiling mad. (New Jersey Jokes)
  13. March Madness 2023: In the post-game interview, Coach Tobin Anderson was asked, how come you were not able to continue the Cinderella story and knock off FAU?… Not really sure. We worked our tails off. I guess it just wasn’t our knight. (Knight Jokes & New Jersey Jokes)
  14. What did see?… Same thing Arkansas.
  15. College Jokes: 2 college friends skip studying for Physics final to party. Two students were taking Physics at Rutgers University. They did pretty well on all of the other assessments. Going into the final, they had a solid “A.” These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the final was on Monday), they decided to go to Drexel and party with some friends. They had a great time, however, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to campus until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to the for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final. The professor placed them in separate rooms, and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 points. It was something simple. “Cool,” they thought. “This is going to be easy.” They did that problem and then turned the page. They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this page. It said: (95 Points). Which tire?
  16. Mississippi Jokes: If Mississippi bought a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! 
  17. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in New Jersey.
  18. New Jersey: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters.
  19. Two New Jersey tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry “Aye!” and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A rookie crewman asked his boat’s mate, “What do they do that for?” The mate looked surprised and replied, “You mean that you’ve never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?”
  20. Labor Day Jokes: New Jersey Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” New JerseyResident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  21. Napping Jokes: A retired New Jersey man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest.
  22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about New Jersey?
  23. Over the summer, New Jersey is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 118°F… NOT cool.
  24. Over the winter, New Jersey is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -39°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING.
  25. Can you name the capitol of New Jersey?… “N” a “J”
  26. I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now. I live in New Jersey.
  27. A guy goes into a New Jersey bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from New Jersey. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from New Jersey, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from New Jersey, too! Now, do you still want to tell your joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
  28. New Jersey Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” New Jersey Resident: “No, not yet.”
  29. What state does the Hudson River flow in?… Liquid. (Top 10 Longest New Jersey Rivers)
  30. Apparently, someone in New Jersey gets stabbed every 52 seconds in .. poor guy.
  31. Covid Jokes: In the news, New Jersey had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court.
  32. Did you hear the joke about New Jersey Mountains?… You won’t get over it. 
  33. Geography Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe locate New Jersey on a map?
  34. A man was arrested in New Jersey for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  35. What state does the Hackensack River NOT flow in?… Frozen. (Top 10 Longest New Jersey Rivers)
  36. Did you know that New Jersey students can drink in high school?… You can’t really stop them after they turn 21. 
  37. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Raritan River. (Top 10 Longest New Jersey Rivers)
  38. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of New Jersey?
  39. Cereal Jokes: Did you guys hear about that New Jersey girl they found murdered in ?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer.
  40.  I threw a hipster into the Passaic River… Guess whose mainstream now? (Top 10 Longest New Jersey Rivers)
  41. A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Wallkill River… It caused river failure. (Top 10 Longest New Jersey Rivers)
  42. New Jersey Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation… yep, we’re ranked 53rd.
  43. New Jersey: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  44. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell New Jersey?
  45. College Jokes: How many Rutgers freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  46. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Jersey shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  47. How many New Jersey men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in. has any cents.
  48. Travel Guest Blogs: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit New Jersey?
  49. How do you get a New Jersey man in to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  50. Did you hear that New Jersey sports teams don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if New Jersey has an MLB team ?
  52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if New Jersey has an NFL team?
  53. Why can’t New Jersey mountains play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
  54. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if New Jersey has an NHL team?
  55. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if New Jersey has an NBA team?
  56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if New Jersey has a Major League Rugby teams?
  57. Music Jokes: A New Jersey woman from who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then.
  58. Why won’t any of New Jersey’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
  59. Did you hear about the power outage at the Rutgers University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  60. Golf Jokes: Why do New Jersey golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
  61. Golf Jokes: Why do New Jersey golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  62. Golf Jokes: Why do New Jersey golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  63. Why do people from New Jersey ove sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great New Jersey is.
  64. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The New Jersey Turnpike! 
  65. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state flower of New Jersey?
  66. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state bird of New Jersey?
  67. What is the tallest building in ?… New Jersey Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  68. Why did New Jersey disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  69. Where do fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Musconetcong River.
  70. Why is “The Wave” banned in the New Jersey Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year.
  71. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from New Jersey?
  72. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from New Jersey ?
  73. Why don’t hipsters like the Musconetcong River?… It’s too mainstream.
  74. Divorce Jokes: Divorced couples in are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody.
  75. What do you call a dishonest cat at the New Jersey Zoo?… Lion.
  76. Top Teacher Jokes: The New Jersey art teacher in always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
  77. Top Teacher Jokes: Why do New Jersey students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
  78. Top Teacher Jokes: The New Jersey chemistry teacher in had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
  79. Top Teacher Jokes: The New Jersey biology class in was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
  80. College Basketball Jokes: I’m not saying New Jersey basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game. The rest will dress themselves
  81. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 New Jersey jokes?
  82. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 New Jersey jokes?
  83. New Jersey state motto “Thank God for Mississippi.”
  84. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the New Jersey Zoo. (Zoo Jokes)
  85. What hurricane is a typical beach house guest?… Sandy. (Hurricane Jokes)
  86. What did Delaware?… A New Jersey. (Delaware Jokes)
  87. What is a florist’s favorite state?… New Jersey. It is the Garden State. (Flower Jokes)
  88. In what state does the Hudson River flow?… Liquid. (10 Longest Rivers in New Jersey)
  89. Over the summer, New Jersey is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 111°F… NOT cool. (Summer Jokes)
  90. Where do cows go on vacation?… Moo Jersey. (Cow Jokes)
  91. Where do cows go to summer camp?… Moo Jersey. (Cow Jokes & Summer Camp Jokes)
  92. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?… Idaho… Alaska! (Top 50 State Jokes)
  93. Why are New Jersey Devils hockey players so fit?… It’s from all the exorcising. (Halloween Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  94. How do the zebras at the Bergen County Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  95. Over the winter, New Jersey is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -35°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING! (Winter Jokes)
  96. If Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware?… I don’t know; Alaska (Top 50 State Jokes)
  97. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Bergen County Zoo?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  98. Can you name the capitals in “New Jersey”?… N and J.
  99. In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who’s a homeless man from New Jersey… Hobo Ken.
  100. Why won’t any of New Jersey’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  101. What is the tallest building in New Jersey?… The New Jersey Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  102. Did you hear the joke about Kittatinny Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & New Jersey Mountains)
  103. New Jersey has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “J”
  104. New York has the most lawyers in the USA. New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps in the USA. Why is this so?… New Jersey had first pick. (Lawyer Jokes)
  105. Where do New Jersey fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Hudson River. (Ten Longest Rivers in New Jersey)
  106. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Raritan River!
  107. What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster?… One’s a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean. (Lobster Jokes & Bus Jokes)
  108. Where does the NCAA buy March Madness basketball uniforms?… New Jersey. (March Madness Jokes)
  109. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about New Jersey?
  110. Where is the best place to shop for a hockey shirt?… New Jersey. (Geography Jokes for Kids & Top 50 State Jokes)
  111. If a plane crashed on the borders of New Jersey and New York, Pennsylvania, and Delaware., where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Plane Jokes)
  112. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Hackensack River! (Track and Field Jokes)
  113. How do you kill a vampire from New Jersey?.. With a New York steak. (Vampire Jokes)
  114. Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps?… New Jersey got first pick! (Lawyer Jokes)
  115. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The New Jersey State Turnpike! (Car Jokes)
  116. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good New Jersey knock-knock joke?
  117. What did Lake Hopatcong say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best New Jersey Lakes)
  118. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good New Jersey knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  119. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: New Jersey. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  120. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” New Jersey Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  121. Where do New Jersey elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  122. Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?… Because Oil, Petrolium, Nuclear, Land Fill, & Toxic Waste State Didn’t fit on a license plate! (Car Jokes)
  123. Where does a lacrosse player go when she needs a new uniform?… New Jersey.
  124. Why do Seton Hall students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  125. Where do New Jersey middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  126. Where do New Jersey high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  127. Why did the New Jersey teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  128. The only people who say “Joizy” are from New York. (New York Jokes)
  129. What happens if BP can actually contain and clean up the Gulf Oil Spill?… The government will then ask them to clean up the “Jersey Shore”!
  130. Did you hear about this year’s newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey?… The swim-fast diet. (Swimming Jokes)
  131. Why is “The Wave” banned in High Point Solutions Stadium?… Two Scarlet Knights fans drowned last year.
  132. Did you hear about the power outage at the Rider University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  133. Whats the difference between Newark, New Jersey and yogurt?… Yogurt has an active living culture.
  134. Why did the New Jersey teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  135. If Kyrie Irving goes to the Nets… Does he get a New Jersey?
  136. Why did the New Jersey teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  137. Why did the New Jersey teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  138. What did New Jersey see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  139. When I was younger I decided I wanted a tattoo. My mother said, “Well if you’re going to get one get one where it doesn’t matter. So I got it in New Jersey.
  140. Why do people drive so fast in New Jersey? So as to get the heck out of New Jersey.
  141. Where do sailors go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey! (Sailing Jokes)
  142. What is Chris Christie’s nickname?… Cake Boss.
  143. If Al Abama wore Miss Issippi’s new jersey to the party, what will Mary Land wear?… I dunno, Al ask a.
  144. If Miss. Issippi, gave Miss. Ouri, her new jersey, what would Dela wear?… I don’t know, but AL ask.
  145. What are two things you don’t pick up in New Jersey?… The trash and the women.
  146. I asked my father for advice with my girlfriend. He told me to kiss her where it smells… So I took her to New Jersey.
  147. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell
  148. New Jersey? 
  149. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the colleges and universities in
  150. New Jersey? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  151. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the professional New Jersey sports teams? 
  152. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the capital of New Jersey? (State Capitals)
  153. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most populated city in New Jersey?  
  154. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in New Jersey?  
  155. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most highest mountain in New Jersey? (Hiking Jokes)  
  156. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most longest river in New Jersey?  
  157. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from New Jersey? 
  158. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of New Jersey?
  159. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the representatives from New Jersey?  
  160. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit New Jersey?  
  161. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great restaurant New Jersey?   
  162. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the cost of living New Jersey?  
  163. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me some good lakes inNew Jersey? 
  164. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a game New Jersey?
  165. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a game New Jersey?  
  166. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of Rutgers University? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  167. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Rutgers mascot? (College Mascots)
  168. New Jersey has changed its drinking age to 28…. Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school.
  169. If a plane crashed on the borders of New Jersey and New York, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  170. Where do New Jersey middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  171. Where do New Jersey high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  172. Why did the New Jersey teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)

Submit a Comment