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Top Math Jokes & Top Elementary Jokes

  1. Why is 6 afraid of 7?…  Because 7 8 (ate) 9
  2. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You said we had to do it without tables! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  3. Why is a math book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.(Top Jokes for Math Teachers).
  4. Teacher: If I had ten apples in my right hand and nine in my left, what would I have?… Student: Huge hands! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  5. What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots. (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  6. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  7. What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  8. Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
  9. How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty. (Top Easter Jokes)
  10. What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
  11. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
  12. Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
  13. What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
  14. What is a smart bird’s favorite type of math?… owl-gebra
  15. Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
  16. What did one math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
  17. What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
  18. What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
  19. What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree
  20. How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters. (Full Moon Names)
  21. What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
  22. Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
  23. When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
  24. Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
  25. Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
  26. What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
  27. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use
  28. Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
  29. Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
  30. Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
  31. What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle.
  32. What do you call male friends who love math?… alge “bros”
  33. Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
  34. Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
  35. What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
  36. What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
  37. Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably.
  38. What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
  39. Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  40. Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
  41. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
  42. What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
  43. Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
  44. How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  45. Why did the doctor send the expression to a psychiatrist?… Because it wasn’t rational. (Top Psychology Jokes)
  46. What do you call a snake after it drinks three cups of coffee?… A hyper boa.
  47. What is Ho cubed?… HoHoHo (Christmas TriviaChristmas Jokes)
  48. How can you tell when a factorial is enthusiastic?… It’s always enthusiastic – it has an exclamation point!
  49. Surgeon: Nurse! I have so many patients! Who do I work on first? Nurse: Simple. Use the order of operations.
  50. Teacher: Your behavior reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher:Because its’ completely irrational. (Top Teacher Jokes)
  51. Student: The artist Picasso must have been really good at algebra. Teacher: Why do you say that? Student: He was a famous cubist, so he probably had to do a lot of factoring. (Top Teacher Jokes)
  52. Teacher: Why did your mother and father do your algebra homework? Student: They really understand parent functions. (Top Teacher Jokes)
  53. Why are you drumming on your algebra book with two big sticks?… Because we are studying log rhythms.
  54. How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality. (Top Summer Jokes)
  55. How do you know that your dentist studied algebra?… She said all that candy gave me exponential decay.