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Top Math Jokes & Top Elementary Jokes

- Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9
- Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You said we had to do it without tables!
**(Top Jokes for Math Teachers)** - Why is a math book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
**(Top Jokes for Math Teachers)**. - Teacher: If I had ten apples in my right hand and nine in my left, what would I have?… Student: Huge hands!
**(Top Jokes for Math Teachers)** - What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots.
**(Top Jokes for Math Teachers)** - 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!
**(Top Pirate Jokes)** - What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
**(101 Pi Day Jokes)** - Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
- How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
**(Top Easter Jokes)** - What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
- What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
- Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- What is a smart bird’s favorite type of math?… owl-gebra
- Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- What did one math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
- What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
- What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree
- How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
**(Full Moon Names)** - What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
- Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
- When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
- Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
- What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
- What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use
- Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
- What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle.
- What do you call male friends who love math?… alge “bros”
- Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
- Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
- What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
- Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably.
- What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
**(Top Baseball Jokes)** - Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
- What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
- Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
**(Top Halloween Jokes)** - Why did the doctor send the expression to a psychiatrist?… Because it wasn’t rational.
**(Top Psychology Jokes)** - What do you call a snake after it drinks three cups of coffee?… A hyper boa.
- What is Ho cubed?… HoHoHo
**(Christmas Trivia & Christmas Jokes)** - How can you tell when a factorial is enthusiastic?… It’s always enthusiastic – it has an exclamation point!
**Surgeon:**Nurse! I have so many patients! Who do I work on first?**Nurse:**Simple. Use the order of operations.**Teacher:**Your behavior reminds me of square root of 2?**Student:**Why?**Teacher:**Because its’ completely irrational.**(Top Teacher Jokes)****Student:**The artist Picasso must have been really good at algebra.Why do you say that?**Teacher:****Student:**He was a famous cubist, so he probably had to do a lot of factoring.**(Top Teacher Jokes)****Teacher:**Why did your mother and father do your algebra homework?**Student:**They really understand parent functions.**(Top Teacher Jokes)**- Why are you drumming on your algebra book with two big sticks?… Because we are studying log rhythms.
- How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality.
**(Top Summer Jokes)** - How do you know that your dentist studied algebra?… She said all that candy gave me exponential decay.

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