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March Guest Blogs / Top Guest Blogs / March Jokes Top March Pages

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  1. March 1st: National Pancake Day Jokes: Where do most people eat pancakes during a Leap Year?… IHOP. (Lear Year Jokes & Pancake Jokes)
  2. March 2nd: Top 10 Dr. Seuss Jokes: What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Cat Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
  3. March 1st: I asked my girlfriend when her birthday was and she said March 1st… Been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn’t told me. (Birthday Jokes & Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  4. March 4th: What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th! (Memorial Day Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
  5. March 4th National Grammar Day: What do you call pizza, pop, and popcorn?… An alliterated lunch. (Pizza Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  6. March 6thOreo CookieDay: Why do basketball players love oreo cookies?… Because they can dunk them! (March Madness Jokes & Oreo Cookie Jokes)
  7. March 7th National Cereal Day: In the morning… I become a cereal killer.
  8. What’s for breakfast on really cold days in March?… Frosted Snowflakes. (Cereal Jokes)
  9. March 9th National Meatball Day: In life, we should all aim to be like Italian meatballs… Well seasoned and well rounded.
  10. Sometimes February feels like it will last forever… But time Marches on.
  11. If I ever run out of dad jokes…. I’ve always got daylight savings time puns to fall back on. (Dad Jokes)
  12. March 13th: Day Light Savings Jokes: Most modern clocks these days auto-update when daylight savings begins/ends. So this morning I’m walking around my house thinking wow… …times have changed.
  13. March 13th: Selection Sunday: Why was the sports fan acting so crazy?… He had March Madness! (March Madness Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  14. March 14th: Pi Day Jokes for Teachers: March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes: Statistics show that 3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates. (Pirate Jokes)
  15. March 15th: Ides of March Jokes: How are you celebrating the Ides of March?… Little Caesars! (Pizza Jokes)
  16. Son: Dad, I met an Irish girl on St. Patrick’s Day. Dad: Oh, really? Son: No, O’Reilly! (Dad Jokes)
  17. March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  18. Full Moon Jokes: Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, “Ah well. I guess you had to be there.” (Walking Jokes)
  19. Where do you find Google in March?… In the winternet. (Computer Jokes & Winter Jokes)
  20. March 20th 1st Day of Spring Jokes: A gardening store sign: We’re so glad spring is here, we wet our plants. (Flower Jokes)
  21. If January threw a parade would February March?… No but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  22. What do you say when someone dies between February 19 and March 20?… Rest in Pisces. (February Jokes & Cemetery Jokes)
  23. What’s Irish and comes out during March?… Paddy O’Furniture.
  24. February is ending today, but that’s okay…. We’ll March on. (February Jokes)
  25. Dr. Seuss Jokes: Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Cat Jokes
  26. March 26th Fun fact about Beethoven. On March 26th, 1827, Ludwig van Beethoven stopped composing, and began decomposing. (Music Jokes)
  27. Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?… I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March 2020 and I’ve grown significantly since. (Flower Jokes & Covid Jokes)
  28. What do you wear to show you care that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday on this early March winter day?… a hat! (Birthday Jokes)
  29. What shade of red is your heart?… Beat red! (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  30. March 30th National Pencil Day: If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why isn’t it #1? (Jokes for Teachers)
  31. March 31st National Crayon Day Jokes: Elementary School Motto: Keep calm, Crayon. (Jokes for Teachers & Elementary School Jokes)
  32. Two men are sitting in a bar ‘Hey, when were you born?’ asks the first man. ‘3rd of March 1961,’ replies the second. ‘Interesting, that’s when I was born too! Where were you born?’ ‘In Seattle.’ ‘That’s weird, I was born in Seattle as well,’ exclaims the first man. ‘Where did you go to school?’ ‘I went to the Abraham Lincoln High School.’ ‘That’s incredible, I went to Lincoln High too!’ A waitress walks by. The first man grabs her arm and says: ‘Hey, listen! This guy and I were born on the same day, in the same city, and we even went to the same school! Isn’t that crazy?’ The waitress just nods and goes back behind the counter. ‘What’s up?’ asks the barman. ‘Eh, not much. The Johnson twins are wasted again…’ (Beer Jokes)
  33. Why is March the most popular month to use a trampoline?… It’s spring-time. (Spring Jokes)
  34. For those without a date for St. Patrick’s Day… I have one for you! It’s March 17th. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  35. My family is full of neat freaks. They have their entire wardrobe planned out for the week. They even labeled their underwear “Monday”, “Tuesday”, “Wednesday”, etc. I decided I wanna do this too to try to be a little neater so I started labeling my underwear, too Right now, I’m wearing February. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  36. What can be seen in the middle of ‘April’ and ‘March’, but can’t be seen in the beginning or end of either one?… The letter “r.”
  37. What do you call a striker playing a March match?… A spring forward. (Soccer Jokes)
  38. It’s hard to believe March 1st is already here. It is National Pancake Day!… It really crêped up on us this year didn’t it! (March Jokes)
  39. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best March jokes. (March Knock Knock Jokes)
  40. Girlfriend to boyfriend: GF – I’m sorry babe but i’ve cheated on you. BF – I’m sorry as well, I have also cheated on you. GF – April fools day! BF – Mine was on 24th March. (April Fools’ Day Jokes)
  41. My son is three years old and I took him shopping. When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Now, I didn’t buy it and he certainly didn’t buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewelers. (Candy Jokes)
  42. Did you hear about the Doctors’ March?… We don’t know what it was about, nobody could read the signs.
  43. Anybody hear about that guy that worked in the calendar factory?… He took 2 weeks off in March.
  44. Can February March?… No, but April May. (Top 10 Jokes, for Each Month)
  45. How the world has changed in 2020!…Feb 14: Will you be my Valentine?…March 14: Will you be my Quarantine?
  46. Birthday The Judge asks the defendant, “When is your birthday Mr. McKenzie?“ – “March 20th, Your Honor.” – “And what year?” – “Every year, Your Honor” (Birthday Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  47. Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?… He took a few days off in March thinking nobody would notice.
  48. 2020 was an interesting leap year… There was 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April. (Leap Year Jokes)
  49. A man starts his new job at an insane asylum: He is given his orientation and at the very end asked if he has any questions. “Yes, how do we know if a patient is ready to leave the asylum?” “Well,” the director says. “We just ask them a simple question and based on their response determine if they need to stay longer.” The director then calls up three patients for a demonstration. He asks the first one, “what’s is 6 times 6?” The patient is shaking and nervously says “1000?” The director shakes his head “no, give this one six more months,” then turns to the next patient. This one jumps up and down and screams “March!” “Oh god no!” Says the director. “Another year for this one!” Finally, he turns to the third patient who looks at him calmly and says “well, the answer is obviously 36.” “Yes!” Exclaims the director. “How did you know that?!” “Easy, I just divided 1000 by March.” (Psychology Jokes
  50. Which crime fighter likes March the most?… Robin. (Bird Jokes & Batman Jokes)
  51. Don’t June know it’s March? (June Jokes)
  52. Don’t June know it’s March?… I can’t December. (December Jokes)
  53. Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust… Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust, exclaiming: “I can’t believe it’s March and I’m still writing B.C. on all of my checks!”
  54. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about March? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month& February Knock Knock Jokes)
  55. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good March knock-knock joke? (February Knock Knock Jokes)
  56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good March knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  57. Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year… Hers is in March and mine in July! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  58. Which type of bow can’t be tied in March?… A rainbow.
  59. You just learned you have 6 months to live. When is the best time to get that news to make it seemingly last the longest?… March 2020. (Cemetery Jokes)
  60. In March I found a monkey paw and used it to wish to work from home every day… I’m sorry everybody. (Labor Day jokes & Monkey Jokes)
  61. How do data march?… In formation.
  62. I’m devastated that I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday this March… I was born in November.
  63. I’m devastated that I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday this March… I was born in October.
  64. What’s a marching bands favorite Germanic Tribe?… The Saxons
  65. I joined a march today for the legalization of marijuana. Well, it started off as a march, but after a while……it turned into a wander.
  66. Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Spring Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  67. What March flowers grow on faces?…Tulips (2 lips).
  68. What falls during March but never gets hurt?… The rain.
  69. What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?… Where were you on the night of September to March? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  70. Did you know North Korea’s military marches to the left?… They have no rights. (World Geography Jokes)
  71. They are doing a new sequel to the movie “March of the Penguins.”… They are calling it “April of the Penguins!” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Penguin Jokes)
  72. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  73. What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards?… A receding hare line. (Rabbit Jokes & Barber Jokes)
  74. Why did the mom call pest control?… Ants were on the March.
  75. Why did the leprechaun go outside?… To sit on the paddy-o.
  76. A circus tamer was trying to arrange a trick where he’d have 50 bears marching in perfect lines, but they always ended up walking in circles, leading him to almost selling his bears… Turns out he was the problem all along, he just had to get his bear-rings straight! (Bear Jokes)
  77. From the year that brought you 8 months of March… Welcome to Tuesday Part 4.
  78. My girlfriend keeps turning down my invite to the medieval fare because she’s busy with “activism” and “planning women’s marches.”. he lady doth protest too much, methinks.
  79. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  80. Did you hear about China’s new space program?… I hear it’s going to be a Long March.
  81. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  82. Friday the 13th Jokes: Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Barber Jokes)
  83. How do data march?… In formation. (Computer Jokes)
  84. What’s a marching bands favorite Germanic Tribe?… The Saxons. (World Geography Jokes & Music Jokes)
  85. March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?… A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day. (Doctor Jokes)
  86. Funny Spring Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes)
  87. In protest, my friends and I are gonna march down to the city square dressed in trash that we picked up around the city… …like litter-rally. (Earth Day Jokes)
  88. Why are the trees planted so close together in Paris?… So the Germans could march in the shade. (World Geography Jokes)
  89. China’s national anthem is titled ‘March of the Volunteers’… But most people are forced to sing it. (World Geography Jokes & Music Jokes)
  90. Why are oak trees so forgiving?… Every March they “turn over a new leaf.”
  91. What season is it when you are on a trampoline in March?… Spring-time.
  92. How excited was the gardener about spring? So excited he wet his plants.
  93. Does February like March?… No, but April May
  94. What do trumpet players in a spring parade do?… March.
  95. What goes up when March rain comes down?… An umbrella.
  96. When do monkeys fall from the sky? During APE-ril showers
  97. What season is it best to go on a trampoline? Spring time
  98. What do you call a rabbit with flees? Bugs Bunny
  99. What goes up when the rain goes down? Umbrellas
  100. What month of the year is the shortest? May (only 3 letters)
  101. Why was the bee mad? You’d be mad too if someone stole your honey and nectar.
  102. Dr. Seuss Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise for find the best Dr. Seuss jokes! 
  103. Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Cat Jokes)
  104. What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Cat Jokes)
  105. Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  106. What Dr. Seuss baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (101 Baseball Jokes)
  107. What would you get if you crossed a famous march tune with a monster and his friends?… “Stars and Twerps Forever!” (Flag Day Jokes & Music Jokes)
  108. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I”
  109. What does the Cat in the Hat like to eat for breakfast?… Green Eggs and Ham. (Pig Jokes & Breakfast Jokes)
  110. What is the Grinch’s least favorite band?… The Who.
  111. What kind of musician is the Cat in the Hat ?… A purr-cussionist. (Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  112. Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?… He was Claustrophobic.
  113. What grade did the Cat in the Hat get on his math test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Cat Jokes)
  114. What is the Grinch’s favorite board game?,,, Mean-opoly.
  115. What does the Cat in the Hat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Cat Jokes)
  116. What do you call the chocolate bars the Grinch stole?… Hot chocolate.
  117. How does the Cat in the Hat get what he wants?… With purr-suasion. (Cat Jokes)
  118. What job did the Cat in the Hat have at the circus?… Acrocat. (Cat Jokes)
  119. How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed.
  120. Why can’t the Grinch get down from the mountain?… You can only get down from a goose.
  121. How did the city folk in Whoville refer to the Grinch?… As a Hill-Bully.
  122. How does the Cat in the Hat sing scales?… Do-ri-me-ow. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
  123. Where does the Grinch keep his money?… In a snow bank.
  124. What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  125. What is the Cat in the Hat ‘s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cat Jokes & Cereal Jokes)
  126. What is another name for the Cat in the Hat’s apartment?… A scratch pad. (Cat Jokes)
  127. What kind of yard work does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Meowing the lawn. (Cat Jokes)
  128. What did the Cat in the Hat say when the dog ate it’s food?…You gotta be kitten me. (Cat Jokes)
  129. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite magazine?… Good Mousekeeping. (Cat Jokes)
  130. What did the Cat in the Hat order at the restaurant?… One fish, two fish, red fish and a blue fish. (Cat Jokes)
  131. Why can’t the Cat in the Hat go to school?… You’re not allowed to wear hats in school! (Cat Jokes)
  132. What would Sally’s mom say if she saw the messy house?… What a CATastrophe! (Cat Jokes)
  133. What looks like half a Cat in the Hat ?… The other half. (Cat Jokes)
  134. How does the Cat in the Hat eat ice cream?… With his mouth just like everyone else. (Cat Jokes)
  135. Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes)
  136. What’s the first thing the Cat in the Hat does in the morning?… He wakes up! (Cat Jokes)
  137. How do you know the Cat in the Hat used your computer?… Your mouse has teeth marks on it. (Cat Jokes)
  138. How is the Cat in the Hat like a coin?… It has a head on one side and tail on the other. (Cat Jokes)
  139. Why did the Cat in the Hat pour oil on the mouse?… Because it squeaked. (Cat Jokes)
  140. Why was the Cat in the Hat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd. (Cat Jokes)
  141. Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes)
  142. Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus. (Cat Jokes)
  143. What does the Cat in the Hat like to eat on hot days?… Mice cream cones. (Cat Jokes)
  144. What is Thing 1 and Thing 2?… Thing 3!
  145. Why did the Cat in the Hat cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off. (Cat Jokes)
  146. Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes)
  147. What happens when you give the Cat in the Hat a Rubik’s cube?… It gets purr-plexed. (Cat Jokes)
  148. Why did the Grinch want to go down the chimney?… Because it sooted him
  149. What is the Cat in the Hat’s best event in gymnastics?… The balance beam! (Cat Jokes)
  150. What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes)
  151. Why didn’t the Cat in the Hat ever get grounded?… His mother did not mind anything he did at all. (Cat Jokes)
  152. Why is the Cat in the Hat so good at video games?… Because he starts with nine lives! (Cat Jokes)
  153. What does the Cat in the Hat put up when the rain comes down?… His umbrella! (Cat Jokes)
  154. What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple. (Cat Jokes)
  155. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! (Cat Jokes)
  156. What happens when the Cat in the Hat drinks vinegar?… He turns into a sourpuss. (Cat Jokes)
  157. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
  158. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite candy bar?… Thingamajig. (Cat Jokes)
  159. What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Cat Jokes)
  160. What does the Cat in the Hat use to make his coffee?… A purr-colator. (Cat Jokes)
  161. What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes)
  162. Why was the Cat in the Hat so good with money?… He knew how to balance a checkbook! (Cat Jokes)
  163. If the Cat in the Hat can jump five feet high, then why can’t he jump through a three foot high window?… The window is closed. (Cat Jokes)
  164. What does the Cat in the Hat say on stage?… Tabby or not tabby, that is the question. (Cat Jokes)
  165. What did the Cat in the Hat name his dog?… Spot! (Cat Jokes)
  166. What’s black and white and read all over?… The Cat in the Hat. (Cat Jokes)
  167. Where does the Cat in the Hat perform?… At the Circus McGurkus. (Cat Jokes)
  168. What happened when the Grinch went to the flea circus?… He stole the show.
  169. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Cat Jokes)
  170. If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does the Cat in the Hat run on?… His paws. (Cat Jokes)
  171. What does the the Cat in the Hat do when he gets mad?… He has a hissy fit.(Cat Jokes)
  172. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite birthday party game?… Mews-ical chairs. (Cat Jokes)
  173. What happened when the Cat in the Hat went to the flea circus?… He stole the show. (Cat Jokes)
  174. Why does the Cat in the Hat seem so smart?… Because he knows a lot about that! (Cat Jokes)
  175. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite musical?… The Sound of Mewsic. (Cat Jokes)
  176. What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Cat Jokes)
  177. What is the title of the unauthorized autobiography of the Cat in the Hat … Hiss and Tell. (Cat Jokes)
  178. Why did the Cat in the Hat want to be friends with the fish?… He thought it was a cat fish. (Cat Jokes)
  179. What does the Cat in the Hat use to keep his grass trimmed?… A lawn meower. (Cat Jokes)
  180. Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Cat Jokes)
  181. Why do so many people love the Cat in the Hat?… They think he’s purrrr-fect. (Cat Jokes)
  182. Why doesn’t the Cat in the Hat know about this?… Because he only knows a lot about that! (Cat Jokes)
  183. Why was the Grinch so bad at playing Crazy 8’s?… He was green (he never played before).
  184. Why was it so hard to miss the Grinch on Christmas morning?… He had all the presence. 
  185. Why was the Grinch invited to the Cinco de Mayo party?… They thought he was a giant avocado.
  186. What do you call a fake diamond in Ireland?… A sham-rock
  187. Where can you always find gold on St. Patrick’s Day?… In the dictionary.
  188. What should you say to a runner in the St. Patrick’s Day marathon?… I rish you luck
  189. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?… A rash of good luck
  190. What did the Irish potato say to his sweet heart?… I only have eyes for you
  191. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?… Real rocks are too heavy!
  192. Name a bow that can’t be tied. A rainbow
  193. Where will you be in five years? I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.
  194. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team? She always ran away from the ball.