Kansas Jokes

by | Jun 29, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Super Bowl XLVIII: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Howa… Howa who?… How about them Chiefs? (Super Bowl Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. Super Bowl XLVIII: What’s the difference between Super Bowl quarterback Patrick Mahomes and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  3. If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa. (Music Jokes / Movie Jokes / Rain Jokes / World Geography Jokes / Dog Jokes)
  4. After a night of camping the Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, “Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore.” (Camping Jokes)
  5. Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport?… They tried to carry-on my wayward son.
  6. Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, ‘how the hell do you pronounce that?” The driver says “War-chester”, the passanger says, “Nah, its gotta be “wir-ster”. They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for sure is to get off at the exit for Worcester, go into the first place they see and ask a local. The winner gets $20. They shake on it. They come up on the exit, get off and go into the first place they see, as agreed. They go up to the counter and say to the kid running the front desk “hey son, now this is very important, my friend and i got $20 riding on this. I need you to slowly and clearly tell us the name of where we are”. The kid looks at him and leans over the counter and goes “DAI-RY QUEEN”
  7. What did the Titans team pilot say when they arrived in Kansas City?… Touch Down! Kansas City! (Plane Jokes)
  8. What did Tennessee?… Same thing Arkansas
  9. I used to live in the middle of Kansas, but I remember very little…. It was all a Hays.
  10. I started taking fish out of Kansas City and bringing them into Kansas. The local vegans and fishermen got mad at me. I said, “What, I’m just putting them out of their Missouri”
  11. Where did the Pirate from Kansas move to?… Ar-Kansas
  12. Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Begging… These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.
  13. What’s a Pirates favorite state?… Arrrrr kansas.
  14. What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?… Baryon my wayward son!
  15. Can you name the capital of Kansas?… “K”
  16. What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates?… Arkansas
  17. What did Wilson Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Kansas)
  18. What is the tallest building in Kansas?… Kansas Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  19. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Kansas Turnpike!
  20. Where do a Kansas fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Missouri River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Kansas)
  21. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Arkansas River!
  22. Who is a lumberjack’s favorite March Madness player?… Kansas guard Nick “Timber” lake.
  23. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Cimarron River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  24. If a plane crashed on the borders of Kansas and Oklahoma where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  25. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Kansas. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Kansas! (Teacher Jokes)
  26. Did you hear the joke about Mount Sunflower?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Kansas Mountains)
  27. Kansas, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  28. A couple in Kansas had a baby… Now their population is 217! (Baby Jokes)
  29. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Kansas plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  30. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Smoky Hill River! (Ten Longest Rivers in Kansas)
  31. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Kansas Resident: “No, not yet.”
  32. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Kansas Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  33. Where do Kansas elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  34. Where do Kansas middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  35. Where do Kansas high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  36. Why did the Kansas teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  37. Why did the Kansas teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  38. Why did the Kansas teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  39. Why did the Kansas teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)