January Jokes: Funny January Jokes

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Over the years we have collected some great jokes. We have decided to share 365 family and school friendly jokes. One Joke for every day of the year. It is a work in progress so please bear with us.
We also have a page for special days of learning for teachers during the month of January.

We are looking for a family friendly business to sponsor this page, which is on the 1st page of a google search for “January Jokes.”
Family Friendly January Jokes
Jokes By Month
January

• 180 School Jokes
• 365 School Jokes
• Top Winter Jokes
• January 1st: Top New Year’s Day Jokes
• January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes

1. What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top New Year’s Day Jokes)
2. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have 364 more jokes! A joke for every day of the year!
3. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Top Christmas Jokes)
4. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top Cycling Jokes)
5. Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball! (Top Winter Jokes)
6. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (365 School Jokes)
7. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?… Chill out. (Top Winter Jokes)
8. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite, (Top Winter Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
   
9. How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you.
10. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
11. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash! (Top Christmas Jokes)
12. Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Top Winter Jokes)
13. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Top Winter Jokes & Top Cereal Jokes)
14. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots? (Top Winter Jokes)
15. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder! (Top Winter Jokes & Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    
16. Where do seals go to see movies?… The dive-in! (Top Summer Jokes)
17. What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?… “You hang around while I go on a head.”
18. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes & Top Social Studies Jokes)
19. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
20. If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!
21. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snowbody!
22. Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
23. What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke! (Top Skiing Jokes Check)
24. What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
25. How do Eskimos make their beds?… With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
26. What’s a good winter tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
27. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
28. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes! (Top Winter Jokes & Top Cereal Jokes)
29. January 1st: New Year’s Day Jokes What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year (365 Sports Jokes & Top Track & Field Jokes)
30. What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top Easter Jokes)
31. What song does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG Syne
32. What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
33. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security
34. New Years Eve One Liners A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
35. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.
36. January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta.
37. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
38. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?… He pasta way.
39. What do Italians eat on halloween?… Fetuccini A-fraid-o (Top Halloween Jokes)
40. What do you call a pasta that is sick?… Mac and sneeze. (Top Winter Jokes)
41. What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating pasta? PASTA LA VISTA BABY.
42. What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?… Gaelic breath! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
43. What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?… Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork
44. What is the dress code at a pasta convention?… Bowtie
45. My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
46. January 5th: National Bird Day: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?… Owlgebra! (101 Pi Day Jokes & Algebra Jokes)
47. What do you give a sick bird?… Tweetment.
48. What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?… A funky chicken. (Top U.S. History Jokes)
49. Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?… So he could grade his eggs. (365 School Jokes)
50. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?… Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls! (Top Geography Jokes)
51. When should you buy a bird?… When it’s going cheep!
52. What do you call a parrot that flew away?… A polygon! (101 Pi Day Jokes & Geometry Jokes)
53. What do you call a sad bird?… A bluebird!
54. What does a cat call a hummingbird?… Fast food. (Fast Food Jokes)
55. Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?… He wanted to make a long distance caw.
56. Why do hummingbirds hum?… Because they don’t know the words.
57. There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?… Roosters don’t lay eggs!
58. Why did the bird get a ticket?… It broke the law of gravity! (Top Physics Jokes)
59. How do you catch a unique bird?… Unique up on it.
60. How do you catch a tame bird?… The tame way, unique up on it!
61. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?… With its sparrowchute.
62. Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?… Because he was caught tweeting on a test. (365 School Jokes)
63. Why does a stork stand on one leg?…  Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
64. How did the bubble gum cross the road?… On the bottom of the chicken’s foot! (Bubble Gum Jokes)
65. Why did the chicken cross the playground?… To get to the other slide!
66. Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?… He was a dirty double crosser!
67. Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?… He got caught peeping on a test.
68. Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?… To get to the other size! (Black Friday Jokes)
69. Why do ducks fly south?… Because it’s too far to walk! (Top Geography Jokes)
70. Why did the rooster cross the road?… To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
71. What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?… He was catching all the chickens!
72. How do chickens get strong?… Egg-cersize. (Summer Olympic Jokes)
73. How do crows stick together in a flock?… Velcrow.
74. What did one egg say to the other egg?… Let’s get crackin’!
75. What do you call a crate of ducks?… A box of quackers.
76. Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?… Because it was chicken.
77. What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?… A robber ducky.
78. Why did Mozart sell his chickens?… Because they kept saying “bach bach”!
79. How did the egg cross the road?… to scrambled across!
80. What is green and pecks on trees?… Woody the Wood Pickle.
81. January 13th: Friday the 13th Jokes:
82. Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray.
83. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Top Summer Jokes)
84. What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Top Cereal Day Jokes)
85. Dear Jedi, Today is Friday the 13th, there’s never been a better time to join the Dark Side. (Top Star Wars Jokes)
86. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite bean?… A human bean.
87. What do Italian’s eat on Friday the 13th?… Fettucinni Afraid-o
88. What song does Jason Voorhees sing on Friday the 13th?… “Takin Care of Business”
89. When Jason Voorhees tells a joke…. it kills! (World’s Best Jokes)
90. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the Friday the 13th dance?…Because he had no body to go with. (Top Halloween Jokes)
91. What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance?…BOO jeans. (Top Halloween Jokes)
92. What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY! (Top Halloween Jokes)
93. What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares. (Kentucky Derby Jokes)
94. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck! (Kentucky Derby Jokes)
95. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.

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