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Over the years we have collected some great jokes. We have decided to share 365 family and school friendly jokes. One Joke for every day of the year. It is a work in progress so please bear with us.
We also have a page for special days of learning for teachers during the month of January.
We are looking for a family friendly business to sponsor this page, which is on the 1st page of a google search for “January Jokes.”
Family Friendly January Jokes
Jokes By Month
- 180 School Jokes
- 365 School Jokes
- Top Winter Jokes
- January 1st: Top New Year’s Day Jokes
- January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes
- What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top New Year’s Day Jokes)
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have 364 more jokes! A joke for every day of the year!
- Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Top Christmas Jokes)
- How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top Cycling Jokes)
- Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball! (Top Winter Jokes)
- What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (365 School Jokes)
- What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?… Chill out. (Top Winter Jokes)
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite, (Top Winter Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
- How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you.
- What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
- What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash! (Top Christmas Jokes)
- Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Top Winter Jokes)
- What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Top Winter Jokes & Top Cereal Jokes)
- What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots? (Top Winter Jokes)
- What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder! (Top Winter Jokes & Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- Where do seals go to see movies?… The dive-in! (Top Summer Jokes)
- What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?… “You hang around while I go on a head.”
- Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes & Top Social Studies Jokes)
- What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
- If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!
- Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snowbody!
- Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
- What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke! (Top Skiing Jokes Check)
- What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
- How do Eskimos make their beds?… With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
- What’s a good winter tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
- What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes! (Top Winter Jokes & Top Cereal Jokes)
- January 1st: New Year’s Day Jokes What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year (365 Sports Jokes & Top Track & Field Jokes)
- What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top Easter Jokes)
- What song does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG Syne
- What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
- What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security
- New Years Eve One Liners A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
- May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.
- January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta.
- Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
- Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?… He pasta way.
- What do Italians eat on halloween?… Fetuccini A-fraid-o (Top Halloween Jokes)
- What do you call a pasta that is sick?… Mac and sneeze. (Top Winter Jokes)
- What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating pasta? PASTA LA VISTA BABY.
- What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?… Gaelic breath! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?… Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork
- What is the dress code at a pasta convention?… Bowtie
- My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
- January 5th: National Bird Day: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?… Owlgebra! (101 Pi Day Jokes & Algebra Jokes)
- What do you give a sick bird?… Tweetment.
- What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?… A funky chicken. (Top U.S. History Jokes)
- Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?… So he could grade his eggs. (365 School Jokes)
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea?… Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls! (Top Geography Jokes)
- When should you buy a bird?… When it’s going cheep!
- What do you call a parrot that flew away?… A polygon! (101 Pi Day Jokes & Geometry Jokes)
- What do you call a sad bird?… A bluebird!
- What does a cat call a hummingbird?… Fast food. (Fast Food Jokes)
- Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?… He wanted to make a long distance caw.
- Why do hummingbirds hum?… Because they don’t know the words.
- There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?… Roosters don’t lay eggs!
- Why did the bird get a ticket?… It broke the law of gravity! (Top Physics Jokes)
- How do you catch a unique bird?… Unique up on it.
- How do you catch a tame bird?… The tame way, unique up on it!
- How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?… With its sparrowchute.
- Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?… Because he was caught tweeting on a test. (365 School Jokes)
- Why does a stork stand on one leg?… Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
- How did the bubble gum cross the road?… On the bottom of the chicken’s foot! (Bubble Gum Jokes)
- Why did the chicken cross the playground?… To get to the other slide!
- Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?… He was a dirty double crosser!
- Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?… He got caught peeping on a test.
- Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?… To get to the other size! (Black Friday Jokes)
- Why do ducks fly south?… Because it’s too far to walk! (Top Geography Jokes)
- Why did the rooster cross the road?… To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
- What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?… He was catching all the chickens!
- How do chickens get strong?… Egg-cersize. (Summer Olympic Jokes)
- How do crows stick together in a flock?… Velcrow.
- What did one egg say to the other egg?… Let’s get crackin’!
- What do you call a crate of ducks?… A box of quackers.
- Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?… Because it was chicken.
- What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?… A robber ducky.
- Why did Mozart sell his chickens?… Because they kept saying “bach bach”!
- How did the egg cross the road?… to scrambled across!
- What is green and pecks on trees?… Woody the Wood Pickle.
- January 13th: Friday the 13th Jokes:
- Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray.
- What’s Jason Voorhees favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Top Summer Jokes)
- What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Top Cereal Day Jokes)
- Dear Jedi, Today is Friday the 13th, there’s never been a better time to join the Dark Side. (Top Star Wars Jokes)
- What’s Jason Voorhees favorite bean?… A human bean.
- What do Italian’s eat on Friday the 13th?… Fettucinni Afraid-o
- What song does Jason Voorhees sing on Friday the 13th?… “Takin Care of Business”
- When Jason Voorhees tells a joke…. it kills! (World’s Best Jokes)
- Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the Friday the 13th dance?…Because he had no body to go with. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance?…BOO jeans. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY! (Top Halloween Jokes)
- What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares. (Kentucky Derby Jokes)
- When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck! (Kentucky Derby Jokes)
- Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
Click here for our complete list of Top 10 Jokes!