Geography Jokes for Teachers

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Celebrate Geography Awareness Week with these great geography jokes. Check out our entire list of Jokes for Social Studies Teachers! Social Studies Teachers are Great Tutors!
For more Geography jokes visit: http://www.jokesbykids.com/geography/
5 Themes of Geography! AMAZING TEACHING TOOL!
132 Geography Jokes

1. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use. (Top Math Jokes of All-Time)
2. How did Christopher Columbus finance his way to the new land?… With his Discover card!
3. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
4. What did the puny rock say to the big muscle rock?… I wish I were boulder!
5. What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?… Both are legends.
6. What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.
7. What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?… A stamp.
8. “Old geographers never die, they just become legends.”
9. Why was longitude boiling mad?… Because it was 360 degrees.
10. What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map.
11. Which state does the most laundry?… Washington.
12. Why do paper maps never win at poker?… Because they always fold. (Top Sports Jokes)
13. Why are maps like fish?…. Both have scales.
14. Why do senior military officials like small scale maps?… Because they have been GENERAL-ized.
15. What has four eyes but can’t see?… Mississippi!
16. “Geologists aren’t perfect, they have their faults.”
17. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B!
18. Teacher: “It’s clear that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?”Student: “Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So, I decided to wait until it settles down!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
19. Why didn’t the map projection finish his speech?… He was interrupted.
20. How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?… Because they’re all graduated.
21. How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Top Teacher Jokes)
22. Why didn’t the map grids go to the popular dance club?… Because they were all squares. (Top Geometry Jokes)
23. What did the daddy volcano say to his son volcano?… “I lava you” (Top 10 Father’s Day Jokes)
    
24. What did the ground say to the earthquake? Hey, you crack me up!
    
25. Which is the biggest cow that doesn’t give milk?… Moscow!
26. Where does the president send his dirty clothes?… To Wash-ington D.C.!
27. Why did the dot go to college?… Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol. 
    
28. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… A river!
29. What is round at each end and high in the middle?… Ohio. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
    
30. Where do all the pencils come from?… Pennsylvania. (Pennsylvania Teachers are Great Tutors!)
31. “Geologists don’t dislike classical music, they just prefer rock.” (Great Twitter Accounts for Music Teachers! & Liberal Arts Music Education Rocks!)
32. What city always cheats at exams?… Peking.
33. Where do you find an ocean without water?… On a map!
34. What place is mentioned in this joke?… The Red Sea.
35. What other place is mentioned in this joke?… The Black Sea.
36. What is the tallest building in the world?… The library of course, it has the most stories!
37. What’s the happiest state in the union?… Merry-land!
38. What is the spiciest country?… Chile! (Chili)
39. Why is it easy to get into Florida?… Because there are so many keys. (Florida Teachers are Great Tutors!)
40. What tower cannot eat anything?… The I Full Tower (Eiffel)
    
41. What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?… A dozen compass roses. (Top 10 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
42. What did Delaware?… A New Jersey.
    What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
43. Why does west longitude need to be cheered up?… Because it is always negative.
    
44. Where is it always 90 degrees, but never hot?… The North and South Poles. (Top Winter Jokes)
45. Why didn’t true north date magnetic north?… She didn’t like his bearing.
    
46. Why did the cartographer put the projection in a hangar?… It was a plane projection.
47. Which is the biggest rope in the world?… Europe.
48. “Old geographers never die, they just lose their bearings.”
49. What map element plays in the band?… The symbols (cymbals).
50. Did you hear about the map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.
51. What’s the capital of Washington?… W.
52. What do you call a city without mini apples?… Mini-apple-less.
53. What did the sea say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
54. What is the biggest pan in the world ?… Japan!
55. Why can fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.
56. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Arctic circle?… Moose.
57. Why don’t people want to live in Illinois?… ‘Cause of too much noise!
58. What projection do birds use to track their migration?… A robins-son (Robinson) projection.
59. What kind of map plays CD’s?… A stereo map.
60. What is a penguin’s favorite aunt?… Aunt Arctica!
61. Why don’t cartography librarians wear high heels?… They prefer map flats.
62. “Old geologists never die, they just petrify.”
63. “Old geologists never die, they just get stoned.”
64. What do geographers grow in their gardens?…Compass roses.
65. What is the highest road?… The Highway.
66. Which has the higher IQ, latitude or longitude?… Longitude; it’s got 360 degrees!
67. What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps. (Top Winter Jokes)
68. What rocks do young geologists play with?… Marbles.
69. Why weren’t there any parallels on the map?… Because the cartographer didn’t have any latitude in his map design.
70. What did Tennessee?… The same thing Arkansas.
71. Why was the map gesturing wildly?… It was an animated map.
72. Where do fish keep their money?… In riverbanks.
73. Why did the equator win the MVP (most valuable parallel) award at the Latitude Super Bowl?… Because it was a great circle. (Top Sports Jokes)
74. What did Delaware?… New Jersey. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
75. What is round at each end and high in the middle?… Ohio. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
76. What is the fastest country in the world?… Russia. (Top Sports Jokes)
77. What kind of maps do spiders make?… Web-based maps.
78. What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?…Juveniles
79. What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?… AARRRGHentina! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
80. What is the tidiest element on a map?… The neatline.
    
81. What’s big, white, furry and always points North?… A Polar Bearing.
    
82. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector. (Top Math Jokes of All-Time)
83. What do an astrologist and a cartographer have in common?… They both specialize in projections. (Top Winter Jokes)
    
84. Why does the Bogie Man know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend. (101 Halloween Jokes)
    
85. Teacher: So where did you go for your holiday last year? Student: Spain Teacher: A cheap place like the Costa Brava? Student: No, very expensive, Costa Fortune! (Top Teacher Jokes)
86. What kind of projection do 3 out of 4 ear, nose, and throat specialists prefer?… A sinus-oidal map projection.
    
87. What is the biggest mark in the world?… Denmark.
    
88. Why were the rocks excited to go to the birthday bash?… They knew they’d have a SMASHING good time.
    
89. What do you get if you cross a farm animal with a map maker?… A cow-tographer!
90. What goes thousands of miles and never moves?… A highway!
91. What is the most polite building in the world?… The leaning tower of Please-a
92. What did the sea say to the river?… Nothing it just waved
93. Why didn’t the map have any meridians?…. It was a map of a parallel universe.
94. Why did the cartographer put a band-aid on the map?… Because it had a bleeding edge.
95. What projection is used to map the distribution of chocolate lovers?… The Bonne-Bonne (bon bon) projection.
96. What do you call a map showing the heights of leafy-stemmed perennial herbs measured in centimeters?…. A daisy metric map.
97. What’s in the middle of the ocean?… Letter E!
98. What do Clint Eastwood and a map key have in common?… Both are legends.
99. What kind of contours can see in the dark?…. Illuminated contours.
100. Which state can you serve at a restaurant?… Mini Soda (Minnesota)
101. What do you get when you cross a cowboy with a mapmaker?… A cow-tographer.
102. Why can’t you ever play a board game in the jungle?… There’s always gonna be a cheetah!
103. What is the coldest country in the world?… Chile!
104. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: India. Teacher: Which part? What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in India!
105. Where do you dance in California?… San Frandisco!
106. Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii)
107. Italy got Hungary. Ate Turkey. Slipped on Greece. Went shopping in Iceland. And then got eaten by Wales!
108. Who did Mississippi get married too?… Mr Sippi!
109. Why don’t you see penguins in Great Britain?… Because they are afraid of Wales!
110. What city has lots of sand?… Sand Francisco!
111. What’s in the middle of Paris?… The letter R!
112. If we put a yellow rock in the Red Sea what will happen?… It will become wet!
113. What is in the middle of India?… The letter ‘D’!
114. What did the Indian ocean say to the Pacific ocean?… Nothing, it just waved.
115. What country in Europe satisfies Hungary?… Turkey!
116. Why is Mississippi such an unusual river?… It has four eyes and can’t even see!
117. What U.S. state is best at producing cheese?… Swiss-consin!
118. What is the smallest state?… Mini-Sota (Minnesota)!
119. Why was the Egyptian boy worried?…. Because his daddy became a mummy!
120. What is the cleanest state?… Washington!
121. What is in the centre of America?… The letter “R”.
122. What is the sweatiest country?… Iran!
123. Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary!
124. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey
125. What do you call someone from Detroit who talks a lot?… A Motor City mouth!
126. Why is North Korea evil?… Because it has no Seoul!
127. Why is the state Mississippi so odd?… Because it has four I’s but can’t see!
128. Teacher: What is the shape of the earth? Student: Square! Teacher: Why? Student:Because, my father says your fame should spread to all four corners of the world!
129. If a plane crashed on the border of Canada and USA, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived!
130. What runs but never goes out of breath?… A river!
131. If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?… It will become WET!
132. Which state has the smallest drink?… Minnesota (Mini-soda)

24 Knock Knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Yukon Yukon who?… Yukon never get bored of geography jokes.
2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Hawaii… Hawaii who?… I’m fine, Hawaii you?
3. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Alaska… Alaska who?… Alaska later, right now I’m busy.
4. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Jamaica… Jamaica who?… Jamaica her do that, or was it her own decision?
5. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Genoa Genoa who?… Genoa, cos I’ve never seen her before in my life.
6. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Medina… Medina who?… Medina’s on the table so I’ve got to go.
7. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Norway… Norway who? …Norway am I telling you any more knock, knock jokes.
8. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nile… Nile who?… Nile down and I’ll tell you.
9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Oman… Oman who?… Oman, these jokes are bad!
10. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?…. Kenya think of anything that’s more fun than geography or geography jokes?
11. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Marge and Tina… Marge and Tina who?… “Don’t cry for me, Marge and Tina” ( The song from Evita)
12. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canada… Canada who?…. Can Ada come and play please mum?
13. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Waterfall… Waterfall who? Water fall I am not to like geography.
14. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Wiltshire… Wiltshire who? Wiltshire sit down and I’ll tell you.
15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Korea… Korea who? Nothing beats a korea as a geographer
16. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Francis Francis who? France is a country in Europe.
17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Ammonia… Ammonia who? Ammonia beginner but I love geography already.
18. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Amsterdam…. Amsterdam who?… Amsterdam tired of all these geography jokes.
19. Knock, knock… Who’s there?…. Wendy…. Wendy who?… Wendy river bends we call it a meander.
20. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Bucharest… Bucharest who?… Bucharest at my hotel, you’ll not regret it.
21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nicosia… Nicosia who?… Clothing for sale. Buy your socks and Nicosia.
22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Jamaica…. Jamaica who?… Jamaica me crazy with all these BAD geography jokes!
23. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Tank… Tank who?…. Tank you for teaching me geography these geography jokes!
24. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Ivan… Ivan who?… Ivan awful headache after reading all these jokes on the geographical jokes!

PG-13 (3)

1. What nationality are you on the way to the bathroom?… Russian
2. What nationality are you while you are in the bathroom?… European
3. What nationality are you while you when you leave the bathroom?… Finnish

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