Friday the 13th Jokes

by | Aug 11, 2025 | Latest News, School Jokes

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Friday the 13th Jokes:

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Friday the 13th jokes in the world.
  2. What’s is NOT Jason Voorhees’ favorite dessert?… I-Scream! We were CORRECTED @JasonLVoorhees “Actually it’s #Twizzlers, you can just stuff ‘em right in my mask holes, but yeah, you weren’t asking.”
  3. When Jason Voorhees tells a joke…. it kills!
  4. What sort of parties do people generally organize on Friday the 13th?… Search parties.
  5. Cereal Jokes: What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees & a box of cheerios?… A cereal killer.
  6. Bee Jokes: Knock knock… Who is there?… Bee… Bee who?… Bee-ware! It’s Friday the Thirteenth!
  7. Field Trip Jokes: What kind of snack do you have during a field trip on Friday the 13th?…. I scream (ice cream).
  8. Pi Jokes: You’ve heard of Friday the 13th… But what about the next day? Pi Day the 14th: Irrational Fear.
  9. What should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Ladders, black cats and ridiculous superstitions.
  10. Geography Jokes: What Great Lake should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Lake Erie
  11. Friday the 13th, June 2025: Jaws Jokes: What happens when Friday the 13th falls on the 75th Anniversary of Jaws… It is JAWsome!
  12. Star Wars Jokes: Dear Jedi Today is Friday the 13th there’s never been a better time to join the Dark Side.
  13. Seattle Seahawks Jokes: The Dark Side, The Super Bowl Seattle Seahawks Defense… The unofficial defense of Friday the 13th.
  14. The worst thing about Friday the 13th… is Monday the 16th.
  15. August Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta be careful. It is Friday the 13th.
  16. There’s a new serial killer in town who works at the bakery… They call him Bready Kruger.
  17. Earth Day Jokes: Jason Voorhees is killing the environment… He still uses tons of plastic straws.
  18. It’s Friday 13th… Thank my lucky stars that I’m not superstitious!
  19. Music Jokes: What do evil spirits sing on Friday the 13th?… “Voorhees a jolly good fellow. Voorhees a jolly good fellow.”
  20. What do Italian’s eat on Friday the 13th?… Fettuccine Afraid-O.
  21. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite bean?… A human bean.
  22. What’s scarier than Friday the 13th?… These bad jokes.
  23. What day do eggs hate most?… Fry-day the 13th!
  24. December Jokes: There’s a Friday the 13th this December… A nightmare before Christmas.
  25. I’m going to celebrate Friday the 13th the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens.
  26. What’s the safest place to hide on Friday the 13th?… The living room.
  27. What kind of snack do you have during a scary Friday the 13th movie?…. I scream sandwich.
  28. Black Friday Jokes: What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed!
  29. What is Jason Voorhees’ favorite fast food restaurant?… Chi Chi Chi Chick-Fil-A.
  30. Happy Friday the 13th everyone… May the odds be ever in your favor.
  31. June Jokes: When Flag Day follows Friday the 13th…. Should we raise a red flag?
  32. Valentine’s Day Jokes When Valentine’s Day follows Friday the 13th…. Should we raise a red flag?
  33. High School Graduation Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe I graduated from high school on Friday June 13th?
  34. I don’t worry about Friday the 13th…. It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
  35. Friday Jokes: I don’t care it is Friday the 13th… I am just happy it is finally Friday.
  36. According to Freddy Krueger, it’s best to visit a tailor on Friday the 13th… because they are very super-stitchious.
  37. Lord of the Rings Jokes: I want to make a Lord of the Rings heavy metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep.
  38. College Jokes: What’s the 1st thing a sorority girl does on Friday the 13th?… Nothing. She’s the first to go.
  39. Marriage Jokes: Is it true that if you get married on Friday the 13th, you will be unhappy?… Of course. Why should that day be an exception?
  40. Keep your friends close and your garlic closer… You never know what Friday the 13th has in store.
  41. Cracking a serial killer joke on Friday the 13th is ok… As long as they are properly executed.
  42. What did Crystal Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.
  43. When does Jason Voorhees get amazing deals on hockey masks?… On Black Friday the 13th. 
  44. When does Jason Voorhees wear a t-shirt and shorts with his hockey mask?… On Casual Friday the 13th.
  45. Book Never Written: Thirteen Is My Lucky Number?  J. Sonvoor Hees.
  46. What do you call someone who wakes up on Saturday the fourteenth?… Lucky. 
  47. Jokes for the Last Day of School: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe Friday the 13th of June is the last Friday of the school year?
  48. Jokes for the Last Day of School: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe Friday the 13th of June is the last day of school?
  49. Music Jokes: What song does Jason Voorhees sing on Friday the 13th?… “Takin Care of Business.”
  50. What is a great for dessert for Friday the 13th?… Boo-berry pie and I-scream!
  51. Ghost Jokes: What game is most played on Friday the 13th?… Hide and Ghost Seek.
  52. Voorhees a jolly good fellow’ is the most popular song among witches and spirits to sing on Friday the 13th.
  53. Friday the 13th walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we can’t serve you. You’re under 21.
  54. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Ice cream!… Ice cream who?… Ice-cream, you scream, we all scream because it’s Friday the Thirteenth. 
  55. What will you say if Jason Voorhees starts chasing you?… Please, stop Jason me.  
  56. Friday the 13th jokes are like bad omens, unexpected, eerie, and usually followed by a nervous chuckle.
  57. Why should you never go out on a date on Friday the thirteenth?… Because everyone knows it’s the one day of the year where you won’t be lucky. 
  58. What’s way worse than Friday the 13th?… Monday the whatever. 
  59. Spaghetti Jokes: What did the ghost eat on a special Friday the 13th lunch?… He had some spook-eti.
  60. Did you hear about the Exorcist who couldn’t keep up his Mortgage payments?… His house got re-possessed.
  61. Friday the 13th is just a normal day for me considering… every day of my life is a disaster.
  62. What’s Friday the 13th?… The day of the year that people blame witchcraft for their regular stupidity.
  63. Did you know that there are 13 steps leading up to a gallows and 13 knots in a hangman’s noose?
  64. Lord of the Rings Jokes: I’m throwing a Friday the 13th hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
  65. If Friday the 13th had a theme song, it’d be just a long, creepy violin screech followed by nervous laughter.
  66. You shouldn’t be superstitious about Friday the 13th… It brings bad luck.
  67. When does Jason Voorhees wear a T-shirt and shorts with his hockey mask?… On Casual Friday the 13th. 
  68. How do you know that it’s Friday the 13th?… Everyone will tell you. 
  69. Why is Friday the thirteenth one of the worst days to get arrested on?… Because the judge will only be in on Monday. 
  70. I walk into a pet store I say “can i have 12 bees” The guy working gave me 13. I responded “you gave me one too many” He responded “the 13th one is a freebie
  71. What starts with the letter J and gets called the reason for the season by some people who celebrate this special holiday?… Jason.
  72. I don’t have to be Freddie Krueger… to be the man of your dreams. 
  73. On Friday the 13th, I dreamt that a horse in armor was chasing me… It was a Knightmare.
  74. What’s the worst part about waking up to realize it’s Friday the Thirteenth?… Realizing that you still have to go to work. 
  75. What’s the worst thing that can happen on Friday the Thirteenth?… Getting married. 
  76. What usually happens on Friday the thirteenth?… Nothing at all. 
  77. Killers eagerly look forward to which day of the month?… Fri-Die the 13th. 
  78. Which types of people consider Friday the thirteenth as lucky as any other day?… The smart ones. 
  79. Which day of the month do 100% of coven members like best?…  Friday the 13th (A coven is 13 witches.) 
  80. Why don’t mathematicians fear Friday the 13th?… Because they know it’s just another irrational fear. 
  81. What do you call a Friday the 13th fan?… A killer fan. 
  82. Why do people consider Friday the 13th unlucky?… Because it’s not a Saturday. 
  83. It may be Friday the 13th, but it’s still Friday and there’s a reason to boogey, man!  
  84. What do demented demon spirits sing on Friday the 13th?…  Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.  
  85. Which dessert do pirates avoid on Friday the 13th?… Aye Scream.  
  86. Which day of the month do morticians live for?… Fri-Die Day the 13th. 
  87. What’s the worst way to spend Friday the 13th?… Getting a flat tire on the way to a haunted house.
  88. On Friday the 13th, I dreamt that a horse in armor was chasing me… It was a Knightmare.
  89. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because it heard Friday the 13th was coming! 
  90. I’m not superstitious on Friday the 13th. Instead, I’m… Just a little ‘stitious. 
  91. The Number 13 walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we can’t serve you. You’re under 21.”  
  92. Which day of the month keeps undertakers the busiest?…  Fri-Die Day the 13th.  
  93. What do you get if you cross Jason Voorhees and a bowl of oatmeal?…  A cereal killer!  
  94. Which kind of shoes does Jason wear?… Crocs! 
  95. I don’t kiss my dates on the 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, or 13th date… It’s my prime dating rule.
  96. What is even scarier than Friday the 13th?… These puns!
  97. Where do ghosts go for rides on Friday the 13th?… They ride in elevators; it raises their spirits! 
  98. Why was the black cat feeling grouchy on Friday the 13th?… She was in a very bad meowd. 
  99. Why did the skeleton not want to go to the Friday the 13th dance party?… He had no-body to go with. Do you know why they don’t have 13th floors on most buildings?… Apparently, it’s because most buildings aren’t that tall.
  100. Why don’t Americans worry about Friday the 13th?… After losing their home, inflation, losing their job, and 401k nothing scares them anymore!
  101. What does a ghost keep in its stable on Friday the 13th?… Nightmares.
  102. Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray.
  103. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do black cats run on?… Their paws. 12 How did the black cats end their fight on Friday the 13th?… They hissed and made up. 
  104. What’s scarier than Friday the 13th?… These bad jokes. 
  105. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe Friday June 13th is the first day of summer vacation?
  106. I used to live in the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor… But that’s another storey.
  107. Teacher, is it true that if you get married on Friday the 13th, you will be unhappy?… Of course. Why should that day be an exception?
  108. Two dumb robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious.”
  109. As of 2021, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years! Probably because it’s always October 31st. Unless you’re dyslexic I guess.
  110. What’s the most difficult part about the average Friday the thirteenth?… Making sure that you survive it.
  111. Why don’t math teachers fear Friday the 13th?… Because they know it’s just another irrational fear. 
  112. Why should you play the lottery on Friday the thirteenth?… Because when you lose this time, you’ll at least expect it. 
  113. What’s the most unlucky thing that you can do on Friday the thirteenth?… Be born into the world. 
  114. If your clock strikes 13 times on Friday the 13th, what time is it?… Time to fix your clock. 
  115. Why did the tailor get scared on Friday the 13th?… They know a lot about superstitchins. 
  116. What did Jason Voorhees say on his birthday?… “It’s Friday the 13th, I can scream!” 
  117. Who won the zombie war on Friday the 13th?…Nobody, it was dead even.
  118. Which spa treatment should you avoid on Friday the 13th?…  Eyes Cream. 
  119. Fun Fact: Halloween falls on Friday the 13th this year… “Google it”
  120. Full Moon Jokes: I just had the freakiest Friday the 13th…. I made it the entire day without a single person even mentioning the date. It must have been a full moon.
  121. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe I my high school prom was on June 13th?
  122. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe I my high school prom was on June 13th?
  123. Why was the black cat having a concert on Friday the 13th?… Because she was very meow-sical.
  124. If at first, you don’t succeed, blame it on Friday the 13th… Bad luck makes a great excuse.
  125. Ghost Jokes: Friday the 13th jokes aren’t unlucky, but telling one before bedtime might just invite a ghostly audience.
  126. As of 2021, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years! Probably because it’s always October 31st. Unless you’re dyslexic I guess.
  127. Where can you find witches on Friday the 13th?… The scary-go-round.
  128. How was the black cat feeling on Friday the 13th?… Purr-fectly happy.
  129. A set of twin witches chasing you on Friday 13th is worse than being chased by Freddy Krueger because you never know witch is which.
  130. What do you call a vicious bully who constantly does wicked things on Friday the 13th?… The brute of all evil. 
  131. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe I graduated from high school on Friday May 13th?
  132. Graduation Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe I graduated from college on Friday May 13th?
  133. Prom Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe my high school prom was on Friday April 13th?
  134. Prom Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe my high school prom was on Friday May 13th?
  135. Golf Jokes: What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?… The “Bogey” man.
  136. Why don’t golfer’s play on Friday the 13th?… They are afraid of the “Bogey” man.
  137. Ghost Jokes: What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance?…BOO jeans.
  138. Why could the mummy not go out on Friday the 13th?… Because he was all wound up.
  139. Why can’t you kill humor on Friday the 13th?… Because it’s deadpan.
  140. It’s Friday the 13th and there’s a serial killer at the circus… He’s so in tents.
  141. When the clock strikes midnight on Friday the 13th puns, my WiFi always lags… Clearly haunted.
  142. What kind of shoes does Jason Voorhees wear?… Crocs.
  143. Freddy Krueger got a job offer to clean mirrors… He took it because it’s something he can see himself doing.
  144. Why did the old man wake up on Friday the 13th and decide that nothing bad could happen to him all day?… Because he had already gotten married.
  145. What’s the best thing you can do on Friday the thirteenth?… Continue to be depressed about your last divorce. 
  146. Why don’t people like going to work on Friday the Thirteenth every year?… Because they hate their jobs very much for the rest of the year too. 
  147. What’s way worse than Friday the 13th?… Monday the whatever.
  148. What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed!
  149. What do black cats like to have for breakfast on Friday the 13th?… Mice crispies.
  150. Why did the skeleton not go and see a scary movie with his friends on Friday the 13th?… He didn’t have the guts.
  151. Knock knock… Who is there?… Norma Lee… Norma Lee, who? Normally, I won’t ask this, but witches the way to the haunted cemetery?
  152. Why aren’t people afraid of Friday the 13th? The lights are out, the windows are boarded up, the lawns aren’t cut… Everyday is Friday the 13th in America now.
  153. Friggatriskaidekaphobia is the scientific term for the fear of Friday the 13th.
  154. Killers eagerly look forward to which day of the month?… Fri-Die the 13th.
  155. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Ice cream!… Ice cream who?… Ice-cream, you scream, we all scream because it’s Friday Thirteenth.
  156. Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious.”
  157. What does a sorority girl do when she wakes up on Friday the 13th?… Nothing, she’s dead.
  158. The witches’ black cat fell off the broom while flying on Friday the 13th… it was cat-astrophic.
  159. What’s more frightening than “Today is Friday the 13th”?… 1st of every month, when rent is due.
  160. Where do ghosts go for rides on Friday the 13th?… They ride in elevators; it raises their spirits!
  161. What’s the scariest thing to do on Friday the 13th?… Check your bank account.
  162. Do you know why they don’t have 13th floors on most buildings?… Apparently it’s because most buildings aren’t that tall.
  163. Why are people scared of going out of the house on Friday the thirteenth?… Because of shark attacks.
  164. You shouldn’t be superstitious about Friday the 13th… It brings bad luck.
  165. I used to live in the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor… But that’s another storey.
  166. What Did The Black Cat Say To The Construction Worker On Friday The 13th?… “It’s fine if you avoid stepping under that ladder. I plan on crossing your path in a minute.”
  167. Last night I had a nightmare about earthquakes…. I woke up trembling.
  168. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Friday the 13th knock-knock joke? 
  169. Wouldn’t it be crazy if Friday the 13th was on Halloween!
  170. On Friday the 13th, the black cat did all her laundry and hung them on a fe-line to dry.
  171. At the Friday 13th dance party, the black cat saw her rival fish and said, “I have a bone to pick with you.” 
  172. What would make Friday the 13th even scarier?… If it were on a Monday.
  173. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Friday the 13th knock knock jokes?
  174. The black cat wore her favorite dress for the costume party on Friday 13th… she wore a purrr-ple gown. 
  175. What’s the first thing a frat boy does on Friday The 13th?… Pull the knife out of his back and shoot a beer bong.
  176. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe there are 100 Friday the 13th jokes?
  177. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe there are 101 Friday the 13th jokes?
  178. The cops arrested a black cat on Friday the 13th… they said she was a purr-patrator.
  179. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Friday the 13th?
  180. What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance party?…BOO jeans.
  181. What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
  182. Killers eagerly look forward to which day of the month?… Fri-Die the 13th.
  183. What is a black cat’s favorite game?… Hide and shriek!
  184. Why was the black cat feeling grouchy on the 13th of Friday?… She was in a very bad meowd.
  185. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the Friday the 13th dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
  186. What is the difference between a black cat and a frog?… They say a black cat has nine lives, and the frog croaks every night.
  187. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck!
  188. While trying a new magic spell, the witch crossed a black cat and an oak tree. The result was a black and white cat-a-log’ue.
  189.  What do you think a ghost keeps in its stable?… Night-mares.
  190. If a monster’s working week begins on a Moan Day, when does it end?… On a Fright day.
  191. When is it considered unlucky to see a black cat?… When you are a mouse.
  192. Knock knock… Who is there?… Voodoo… Voodoo who?… Voodoo you think you are and why do you ask me so many questions?
  193. I don’t sleep with dates on the 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, or 13th date… It’s my prime dating rule
  194. Why is Fright Day the 13th is a great day to be cherished?… Because no one was struck by lightning on Thor’s Day the 12th.
  195. “Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?” “Oh dear!!” her friend replied, “I hope it’s not the 13th?”
  196. Why could the mummy not enjoy Friday the 13th?… Because he was all wound up.
  197. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Yule… Yule who?… Yule know when you look out the door. 
  198. To break the stigma surrounding black cats being a bad omen, the cat joined the red cross society and became a first aid kit-ten and started helping mankind. 
  199. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite candy?… “Actually it’s Twizzlers, you can just stuff ‘em right in my mask holes, but yeah, you weren’t asking.”
  200. What’s Jason Voorhees’s favorite dessert?… I-Scream!
  201. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the Friday the 13th dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
  202. What’s more frightening than “Today is Friday the 13th”?… 1st of every month, when rent is due.
  203. What costumes do ghosts wear for a Friday the 13th dance party? BOO jeans.
  204. A coven of witches lost their way, so they had to take a stranger’s help. They asked him, “witch way to the Friday 13th dance party?”
  205. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe there are 129 Friday the 13th jokes?