(Friday Jokes)

Google Search “Friday Jokes”

  1. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?… His horse’s name was Friday! (Friday Jokes)
  2. Why did Friday go to visit a doctor?… He was week.
  3. Where can you have a Fry-day every day?… In Grease.
  4. What did a worker say to another worker who was not feeling like working on a Friday?… “Just a few more hours of work left, weekend make it!”
  5. What is the only thing better than a Friday night?… A Monday holiday.
  6. What do you call a Friday that is not serious about anything in life?… Casual Friday.
  7. What did a worker tell his co-worker when the long and busy week was about to end?… “Fri-nally.”
  8. Why was the hospital empty?… Because it is a feel-good Friday.
  9. What does an employee look forward to on Friday nights?… The next Friday night.
  10. Good Friday Jokes: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?… Good Fry-day.
  11. Why couldn’t Friday lift the heavy weights?… Because it was a weak day.
  12. TGIF….Thank God It’s Good Friday…..Please Do.
  13. Friday the 13th Jokes: What’s scarier than Friday the 13th?… these bad jokes.
  14. What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?… The “Bogey” man. (Golf Jokes & Funny Halloween Jokes)
  15. What day do eggs hate most?… Fry-day the 13th! (Egg Jokes)
  16. Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Barber Jokes)
  17. What’s is NOT Jason Voorhees’ favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Ice Cream Jokes & Summer Jokes) We were WRONG with this one….
  18. CORRECTED by Jason L. Voorhees @JasonLVoorhees What’s Jason Voorhees’ favorite dessert?… “Actually it’s Twizzlers, you can just stuff ‘em right in my mask holes, but yeah, you weren’t asking.”
  19. What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  20. What Great Lake should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Lake Erie. (Geography Jokes)
  21. Dear Jedi, Today is Friday the 13th, there’s never been a better time to join the Dark Side. (Star Wars Jokes)
  22. There’s a Friday the 13th this December… A nightmare before Christmas some may say. (December Jokes Christmas Jokes)
  23. What did Crystal Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in South Carolina)
  24. Knock knock… Who is there?… Bee… Bee who?… Bee-ware! It’s Friday the Thirteenth! (Bee Jokes)
  25. What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed! (Black Friday Jokes)
  26. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite bean?… A human bean. (Farming Jokes)
  27. Last night I had a nightmare about earthquakes…. I woke up trembling. (Earthquake Jokes Napping Jokes)
  28. There’s a new serial killer in town who works at the bakery… They call him Bready Kruger! (Bread Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
  29. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Friday the 13th? (Summer Olympic Knock Knock Jokes)
  30. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Friday the 13th knock-knock jokes?
  31. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Friday the 13th knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  32. What do Italian’s eat on Friday the 13th?… Fettucinni Afraid-o. (Pasta Jokes)
  33. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Ice cream!… Ice cream who?… Ice-cream, you scream, we all scream because it’s Friday Thirteenth. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  34. What song does Jason Voorhees sing on Friday the 13th?… “Takin Care of Business” (Music Jokes)
  35. When Jason Voorhees tells a joke…. it kills! (Cemetery Jokes)
  36. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the Friday the 13th dance?…Because he had no body to go with. (Halloween Jokes & Skeleton Jokes)
  37. What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance?…BOO jeans. (Halloween Jokes Ghost Jokes)
  38. What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY! (Halloween Jokes)
  39. Why don’t Americans worry about Friday the 13th?… After losing their home, job, and 401k nothing scares them anymore!
  40. What do evil spirits sing on Friday the 13th?… “Voorhees a jolly good fellow. Voorhees a jolly good fellow.” (Music Jokes)
  41. What does a ghost keep in its stable on Friday the 13th?…Nightmares(Horse Racing Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  42. What did the ghost eat on a special Friday 13th lunch?… He had some spook-eti. (Pasta Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  43. Why was the black cat having a concert on Friday the 13th?… Because she was very meow-sical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
  44. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck! (Horse Racing Jokes & Vampire Jokes)
  45. Knock knock… Who is there?… Norma Lee… Norma Lee, who?… Normally, I won’t ask this, but witches the way to the haunted cemetery? (Cemetery Jokes)
  46. A set of twin witches chasing you on Friday 13th is worse than being chased by Freddy Krueger because you never know witch is which. (Witch Jokes)
  47. How was the black cat feeling on Friday the 13th?… Purr-fectly happy. (Cat Jokes)
  48. According to Freddy Krueger, it’s best to visit a tailor on Friday the 13th, because they are very super-stitchious.
  49. What did the black cat say to the construction worker on Friday The 13th?… It’s fine if you avoid stepping under that ladder. I plan on crossing your path in a minute. (Cat Jokes)
  50. Freddy Krueger got a job offer to clean mirrors… He took it because it’s something he can see himself doing. (Labor Day Jokes)
  51. What’s the 1st thing a sorority girl does on Friday The 13th?… Nothing. She’s the first to go. (College Jokes)
  52. What will you say if Jason Voorhees starts chasing you?… Please, stop Jason me. 
  53. What kind of shoes does Jason wear?… Crocs.
  54. While trying a new magic spell, the witch crossed a black cat and an oak tree… The result was a black and white cat-a-log’ue. (Cat Jokes / Witch Jokes / Tree Jokes)
  55. Why could the mummy not go out on Friday the 13th?… Because he was all wound up. (Mummy Jokes)
  56. Voorhees a jolly good fellow’ is the most popular song among witches and spirits to sing on Friday the 13th. (Witch Jokes)
  57. Happy Friday the 13th everyone… May the odds be ever in your favor.
  58. Killers eagerly look forward to which day of the month?… Fri-Die the 13th.
  59. If a monster’s working week begins on a Moan Day, when does it end?… On a Fright day. (Labor Day Jokes)
  60. Why did the skeleton not go and see a scary movie with his friends on Friday the 13th?… He didn’t have the guts. (Movie Jokes & Skeleton Jokes)
  61. What costumes do ghosts wear for a Friday the 13th dance party?… BOO jeans. (Ghost Jokes)
  62. When is it considered unlucky to see a black cat?… When you are a mouse. (Cat Jokes)
  63. What do you think a ghost keeps in its stable?… Night-mares. (Horse Racing Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  64. Where do ghosts go for rides on Friday the 13th?… They ride in elevators; it raises their spirits! (Ghost Jokes)
  65. Why was the black cat feeling grouchy on the 13th of Friday?… She was in a very bad meowd. i
  66. What is the difference between a black cat and a frog?… They say a black cat has nine lives, and the frog croaks every night. (Cat Jokes & Frog Jokes)
  67. Knock knock… Who is there?… Voodoo… Voodoo who?… Voodoo you think you are and why do you ask me so many questions? 
  68. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Yule… Yule who?… Yule know when you look out the door. 
  69. The cops arrested a black cat on Friday the 13th… they said she was a purr-patrator. (Cat Jokes)
  70. At the Friday 13th dance party, the black cat saw her rival fish and said, “I have a bone to pick with you.” (Cat Jokes)
  71. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  72. The black cat wore her favorite dress for the costume party on Friday 13th… she wore a purrr-ple gown. (Cat Jokes)
  73. On Friday the 13th, the black cat did all her laundry and hung them on a fe-line to dry. (Cat Jokes)
  74. The witches’ black cat fell off the broom while flying… it was cat-astrophic. (Cat Jokes)
  75. To break the stigma surrounding black cats being a bad omen, the cat joined the red cross society and became a first aid kit-ten and started helping mankind. (Cat Jokes)
  76. What would make Friday the 13th even scarier?… If it were on a Monday.
  77. What is a black cat’s favorite game?… Hide and shriek! (Cat Jokes)
  78. I’m going to celebrate Friday the 13th the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
  79. What’s more frightening than “Today is Friday the 13th”?… 1st of every month, when rent is due.
  80. What’s The First Thing A Frat Boy Does On Friday The 13th?… Pull the knife out of his back and shoot a beer bong.
  81. “Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?” “Oh dear!!” her friend replied, “I hope it’s not the 13th?”
  82. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite candy?… “Actually it’s Twizzlers, you can just stuff ‘em right in my mask holes, but yeah, you weren’t asking.”
  83. The worst thing about Friday the 13th… is Monday the 16th.
  84. I don’t worry about Friday the 13th…. It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
  85. What do evil spirits say on Friday the 13th?… Voorhees a jolly good fellow!
  86. It’s Friday the 13th and there’s a serial killer at the circus… He’s so in tents.
  87. Black Friday Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Black Friday jokes.
  88. Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal: Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!
  89. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Presidents Day Jokes)
  90. I handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too… 50% off. (180 School Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
  91. What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings been in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  92. What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed! (Friday the 13th Jokes)
  93. All this spending on Black Friday… Better make sure ya’ll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too!
  94. A small business owner was upset when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read “BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!” He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side of him and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES!” The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
  95. I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife. I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. (Car Jokes)
  96. What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?… Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck! (Hunting Jokes)
  97. What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?… A sweet deal. (Cake Jokes)
  98. Black Friday = Broke Saturday.
  99. Black Friday: The day people spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
  100. I’m going to spend a thousand dollars for a computer on Black Friday… It’s going to be grand. (Computer Jokes)
  101. On Black Friday, where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Memorial Day Jokes)
  102. A dog goes into a camping store and buys a tent. The cashier says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a tent very often.” The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.” (Dog jokes for Kids & Camping Jokes)
  103. Black Friday: Because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
  104. On Black Friday, just be decent and civilized… by holding the cell phone horizontal when recording any fights.
  105. Black Friday is a scam… You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year.
  106. Black Friday Family Tips: “Now remember what I taught you! Push, shove, grab, yell, and if needed tackle! Get out there and make Grandma proud!”
  107. How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?… Don’t worry they’ll let you know.
  108. I’ve saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday… I stayed in.
  109. The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year… It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.
  110. I actually enjoy Black Friday. It’s the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them.
  111. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… On Black Friday, when it’s on sail. (Pirate Jokes)
  112. It’s Black Friday and the mall is packed with shoppers. John has lost sight of his wife and can’t find her. He goes up to a very attractive woman and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The attractive woman replies “Why?” John says, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife shows up out of thin air.”
  113. Here’s hoping Black Friday won’t turn into Black and Blue Saturday.
  114. What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?… A Macintosh. (Computer Jokes & Horse Jokes)
  115. Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday… It sucks!
  116. Colorado man fires gun at a retail store… It was a target.
  117. It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 13 for my wife I thought it was a good trade.
  118. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Black Friday?
  119. What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! (Thanksgiving Jokes & Turkey Jokes)
  120. So Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great!… There were so many great shales! It really rocked.
  121. Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales?… Because Fathers are priceless. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  122. Black Friday: A day Americans are willing to kill over materialistic things just a day after celebrating what they’re already thankful for.
  123. I was too lazy to go out shopping today, so to make it feel like Black Friday, I punched a few family members while online shopping.
  124. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Black Friday knock-knock joke?
  125. Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?… They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
  126. Where did Mrs. Avogadro do her shopping on Black Friday?… In a shopping mole. (Mole Day Jokes)
  127. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?… Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe. (Reindeer Jokes)
  128. What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a crowd of ladies on Black Friday?… You gotta Mufasa (move faster) (Top 10 Lion King Jokes)
  129. How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?… Weasley twins are 50% off. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  130. What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat?… Time for a new hat. (Hat Jokes)
  131. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday?”… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  132. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Black Friday knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  133. The day after the Thanksgiving, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, everything is all leftover here!”
  134. How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday?… He Jingles All The Way. (Christmas Jokes)
  135. Today a man stole my wallet He took the 100 dollars I had with me and started counting the money. He gave me 50 dollars back. Confused, I asked why. He said: “Today’s Black Friday, so every stolen wallet has a 50% discount!”
  136. Who profits the most on Black Friday?… The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
  137. Thanksgiving Motto:”Leftovers are for quitters!” (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  138. It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife I thought it was a good trade.
  139. Every year on Black Friday I make sure I wake up extra early. To go on the internet to see all the fights.
  140. Why do people go clothes shopping on Black Friday?… To replace all the clothes they spilled Thanksgiving dinner on.
  141. What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday.
  142. I’ll be celebrating Black Friday in my own way — by completely ignoring it.
  143. Why do Americans go shopping on Black Friday?… They are thankful they survived Thanksgiving’s feast.
  144. What flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment slips!
  145. Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?… The one who earns the least.
  146. What animal flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment vultures.
  147. What do people eat on Black Friday?… Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  148. My version of Black Friday is deleting all the people in my phone who sent me a mass Thanksgiving text.
  149. Fantastic Black Friday deal alert: Buy nothing and save 100% in every store!
  150. Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2… Save up to $2160 by not buying it.
  151. Probable Headline: “1000 Americans killed trying to get Twinkies on Black Friday.”
  152. Black Friday at the geology museum was great!… There were so many great shales!
  153. Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police. I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so I asked them why they came so early. One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”
  154. Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?… They’re calling it a self-checkout.
  155. I think it’s only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday… And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.
  156. Sorry, but there’s no deal for the hospital visit you will need after being pummeled on Black Friday.
  157. Here’s hoping the Black Friday injuries aren’t so bad that you can’t click on a mouse on Cyber Monday.