February Jokes: Funny February Jokes

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February Jokes: Family-Friendly February Jokes

• Funny Jokes for Each Month
• 180 School Jokes
• 365 School Jokes
• Winter Jokes
• Top Ground hog Day Jokes
• Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes
• President’s Day Jokes

1. February 2nd: Ground Hog Day: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
2. What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash. (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
3. What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
4. What is a groundhog’s favorite book?… Holes (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
5. What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?… Ground Nog Day! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
6. Super Bowl Sunday: What football play should you be suspicious of in the Super Bowl?… The quarterback sneak. (Top Football Jokes)
7. Why did the NFL football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.
8. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
9. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
10. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.”
11. If you want to sack the Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?… Your fishing tackle. (Top Fishing Jokes)
12. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward.
13. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
14. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
15. Did you here about the football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
16. February 14th: Top Valentine’s Day Jokes: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
17. Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty!
18. What did one oar say to the other?… “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?” (Top Rowing Jokes)
19. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s all heart.
20. What did the pencil say to the paper?… I dot my i’s on you! (180 School Jokes)
21. What did the light bulb say to the switch?… You turn me on.
22. Do you have a date for Valentines Day?… Yes, February 14th.
23. “I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”…“Really?”… “Yeah, you make me sick!”
24. What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?… Stick with me and you’ll go places!
25. What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?… They are all better rich! (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Coffee Day Jokes)
26. President’s Day Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
27. Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
28. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln (Top Baseball Jokes)
29. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Top Civil War Jokes & Civil War Interactives)
30. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!
31. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
32. Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
33. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
34. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
35. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!

1. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?… I find you very attractive. (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
2. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?… Ughs and kisses! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
3. What do you call two birds in love?…. Tweethearts!
4. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?… I’m stuck on you! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
5. What do you call a very small Valentine’s?… A Valentiny! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
6. What did the bear say to his Valentine?… I love you beary much! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
7. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
8. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
9. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
10. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
11. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
12. How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
13. How do billboards talk?….Sign language!
14. Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
15. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
16. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
17. When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar
18. What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
19. What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?….A plain (plane) donut!
20. Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!