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“Never underestimate a public school teacher.” Tim Walz
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the BEST election jokes in the world. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
- Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?… Because they didn’t want to elect Ron. (Election Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
- Do you think Joe Biden waited until it was closer to the Olympics to pass the torch? (Summer Olympic Jokes)
- The biggest joke of the 2024 Election… the age of the original candidates (Joe Biden 81 & Donald Trump 78)
- What did Al Gore say when he went to the dentist?… “I have an Inconvenient Tooth.” (Dentist Jokes)
- What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?… Hair Force One! (Barber Jokes)
- What is the most popular college during 2024 election season?… The Electoral College. (College Jokes)
- Got a big decision to make in November… Pumpkin or pecan pie for Thanksgiving? (Pie Jokes / Thanksgiving Jokes / Election Jokes)
- What do you call a bee that works for the government?… A pollentician.
- 2024 Bumper Sticker: Roe Roe Roe your vote!
- 2024 Election Jokes: Who was most excited about Donald Trump calling America the trash can of the world?… Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. (Sesame Street Jokes)
- Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (Presidents Jokes)
- What might an older candidate need if elected?… Presidentures! (Dentist Jokes & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- 2024 Election Jokes: Michelle Obama and the Democrats want to turn Kalamazoo, Michigan into Kamala-Zoo Michigan. (Michigan Jokes)
- A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show… Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony. (Pasta Jokes)
- The Republicans held their presidential convention in Wisconsin because they thought it would help them Wiscon WIN. (Wisconsin Jokes)
- 2024 Election Goal of Donald Trump and Kamala Harris… Turn Wisconsin into WisconWIN. (Wisconsin Jokes)
- 2024 Election Jokes: A comedian at a Donald Trump rally called Puerto Rico a “floating island of garbage.” Only one company appreciated it… Waste Management.
- 2024 Election Jokes: What is Tim Walz position on Border walls?
- Ever wonder why there is no Congressional basketball game?… Because Congress cannot pass anything. (Basketball Jokes for the Election)
- Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for President… As they lack a heart, mind, and courage. (Presidents Jokes)
- The Presidential Debate?… Debate yourself.
- What Pink Floyd song captures the current political climate?… Us and Them. (365 Music Jokes)
- What is the official footwear of the upcoming presidential election?… The flip flop.
- How do people in Boston vote?… Early and often!
- How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
- What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College. (College Jokes)
- I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girlfriend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship. We had a real row v. wade debate that day. (Constitution Jokes)
- November 1st 2020: Someone just asked me, “Who do you think will win the 2020 Presidential Election?” I said, “I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision.”
- Who is the unofficial Looney Tunes spokesperson for the NRA?… Yosemite Sam. (Looney Tunes Jokes)
- If I had to pick a presidential running mate… I would make sure he did all the running.
- If I had to pick a presidential running mate… I would really think about completing a marathon.
- Politician: I really feel like having some pancakes… maybe I don’t…I just can’t stop waffling. (Pancake Jokes)
- Ice Cream Flavors honoring Richard Nixon… ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate.’ (Election Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
- Why did Ron lose the election?… People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative. (Election Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
- I like my sunglasses like I like my politicians… Polarized and able to be bought surprisingly cheap.
- What do you call a bee that tries to interfere with the 2024 election?… A Cagey Bee. (Bee Jokes & Election Jokes)
- CNN and FOXnews are predicting Trump winning Iowa… it is a very “corn” servative state. (Iowa Jokes)
- Trump Campaign Slogan: Everybody needs to comb down.
- What is Joe Biden’s favorite full moon?… The Hunter Moon. (Full Moon Jokes)
- Did you hear Barack and Michelle Obama’s speech at the DNC… They really want to make you them Chica “GO!” and work on the campaign for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
- Why did the Democratic Party hold the 2024 convention in Chicago?… Harris and Walz wanted to make a bunch of Ill – i – NOISE!
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Orange… Orange Who?… Orange you glad to be able to vote. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
- Do you know the most popular band at the 2024 DNC?… Chicago.
- What Illinois city do the democrats want to have a toast in on Election Night?… Champaign.
- J.D. Vance… Can he advance the Republican Presidential ticket?
- If Steve Jobs was still alive and a presidential candidate, he would have won the 2016 Election… But let’s not compare Apples to Oranges. (Apple Jokes)
- What was the President doing during his Covid quarantine in July 2024… Just Biden his time until he dropped out of the race.
- The biggest joke of the 2024 Election… the potential age during the final year of the presidency if the original candidates won. (Joe Biden 85 & Donald Trump 82)
- What is Donald Trump’s least favorite full moon?… The Hunter Moon. (Full Moon Jokes)
- What is the most popular college during 2024 election season?… The Electoral College. (College Jokes)
- What Illinois city do Harris and Walz want to have a toast in on Election Night?… Champaign.
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Orange… Orange Who?… Orange you glad we made all these election jokes. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
- Why did the Harris and Walz hold the 2024 convention in Chicago?… They wanted to make a bunch of Ill – i – NOISE!
- Did you hear Barack and Michelle Obama’s speech at the DNC… They really want to make you them Chica “GO!” and vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
- What political party are most corn farmers and growers?… They are “corn” servative republic-corns. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
- A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything… except office.
- “George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles.” Author Unknown
- “Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening.” Bill Clinton (Cemetery Jokes)
- What is something that describes both political talk and filling up your plate at Thanksgiving?… Choosing sides. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
- Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
- “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency – even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” Ronald Reagan
- What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?… On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.
- It was so cold today… a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets! (Winter Jokes)
- Who are voting for this election?… I’m voting for tricity so vote for tricity… Electricity!
- What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln (Baseball Jokes)
- How did George Washington speak during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms.
- Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other.” Harry Truman
- Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Presidents’ Day Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?… Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
- What is Joe Biden’s favorite full moon?… The Hunter Moon. (Full Moon Jokes)
- Why did Bernie Sanders challenge his 49 vs 50% 2020 Democratic primary loss in Iowa?… I thought he didn’t care about the 1%? (Iowa Jokes)
- What’s the difference between skateboard tricks and my political views?… None – people call them “sick” and “radical.” (Skateboarding Jokes)
- What would you call it if Sponge Bob ran for governor?… A goobernatorial election.
- “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln (Civil War Jokes)
- An octopus politician offered to pay my debts if I voted for him…. I guess it’s squid pro quo. (Octopus Jokes)
- If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot! (Golf Jokes)
- I can’t believe they’re considering an all mail election… …females worked so hard to get voting rights! (Mailman Jokes)
- “Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.” Author Unknown
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
- Where do polar bears vote?… The North Poll! (World Geography Jokes / Bear Jokes / Christmas Jokes)
- “Don’t buy a single vote more than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.” Joseph P. Kennedy
- Maine Political Campaign Slogan: “Let’s Keep the Maine Thing… The Main Thing.” (Maine Jokes)
- There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc… … because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron. (Mole Day Jokes)
- Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress… As they lack a heart, mind, and courage. (Wizard of Oz Jokes)
- “I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.” Adlai Stevenson
- Why did Ronald lose the election?… People thought his elect Ron campaign was too negative. (Chemistry Jokes & Mole Day Jokes)
- “Daddy,” a little girl asked her father, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’? ” “No, sweetheart,” he answered. “Some begin with ‘If I am elected.’”
- “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.” (Baby Jokes)
- “The problem with political jokes is they get elected.”
- Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect! (Mole Day Jokes)
- Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote. Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn’t want to look suspicious. (Teacher Jokes)
- Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No. I thought he lived in Washington!” (Civil War Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a presidential election and a NASCAR race?… In NASCAR they wear their sponsors on their shirts. (NASCAR Jokes)
- Why was the delegation from the Dallas Dyslexic Republican Association turned away from the Republican National Convention?… Their placard read: ‘We love Taxes.’ (Texas Jokes)
- Punxsutawney Phil makes conservatives out of us all. Every time it snows after February 2, I rethink my position on gun control: “I’m gonna kill that stinking groundhog!” (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Napping Jokes)
- We should just name hurricanes after politicians…. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about them actually coming through with anything. (Hurricane Jokes)
- What do you call a bee that tries to interfere with an election?… A Cagey Bee. (Bee Jokes & Election Jokes)
- I say this next election we learn from our mistakes in the past and try to move forward to a brighter tomorrow. This election vote… Hindsight 2020.
- Did you hear the one about the Senator who won his election despite not having thumbs?… He ran unopposed.
- Top 3 things Florida is famous for 1. old people. 2. “stand your ground” laws. 3. recounts! (Florida Jokes)
- If Steve Jobs was still alive and a presidential candidate, he would have won the 2016 Election… But let’s not compare Apples to Oranges. (Apple Jokes)
- I’ve decided that I will not vote in the next election for the following reasons, please hear me out… I’m 14.
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Civil War Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
- It’s important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns… Last time I voted for a real estate agent.
- Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!
- If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
- “In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.” George Carlin
- What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
- “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” Winston Churchill
- “A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.” Bill Vaughan
- “If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.” Mark Twain
- I don’t get people who try to predict the next US presidential election… I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision?
- Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
- What was the grilled cheese sandwiches’ strategy when it ran for president?… Make America grate again. (Election Jokes)