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Funny Jokes for Each Month / Jokes for Kids A – Z / Sports Jokes A-Z
- How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Arbor Day Jokes)
- “I have an obsession with wind farms.” “Really?” “Yes. I’m a huge fan.”
- What did one lightening bolt say to the other lightening bolt?… You’re shocking!
- How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
- What’s a tornado’s favorite game?… Twister!
- How do hurricanes see?… With one eye!
- What does a cloud wear under his pants?… Thunderwear!
- What kind of bow can’t be tied?… A rainbow!
- What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (September Jokes)
- What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
- What did the ground say to the earthquake?… You crack me up!
- Why did the sun go to school?… To get brighter. (Top College Jokes for Kids)
- How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw.
- What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
- What did one firefly say to the other?… Got to glow now!
- Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green! (Fall Jokes)
- What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
- What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to be careful to not step in a poodle! (Animal Jokes for Kids)
- What did one volcano say to the other volcano?… I lava you!
- What kind of hair do oceans have?… Wavy! (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
- Do bees fly in the rain?… Not without their yellow jackets!
- What kind of plant grow on your hand?… Palm tree. (Top Biology Jokes)
- Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Lettuce… Lettuce who?… Lettuce in, it’s hot outside!
- What do you call a rooster that crows every morning?… An alarm cluck!
- Why are people always tired on Earth Day?… Because they just finished a long March. (Funny Jokes for Each Month)
- Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green.
- Why is grass so dangerous?… Because it’s full of blades.
- What did the little tree say to the big tree?… Leaf me alone!
- What’s the biggest moth in the world?… A mammoth!
- Why are recycle bins optimistic?… Because they’re full of cans.
- What’s the difference between weather and climate?… You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
- Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?… Because she expected some change in the weather.
- Why do tornadoes zigzag?… They’re dizzy.
Place for 2018
- What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
- What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
- Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
- Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
- Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
- What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
- Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
- Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
- What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
- What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
- Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
- What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
- What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers!
- What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
- What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels. (Sports Jokes for Kids)
- Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
- Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
- Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
- What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
- Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.
- What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
- What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
- What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
- Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
- Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
- What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
PG-13
- How do oil companies deal with with oil spills?… Slick lawyers.
- How do Republicans plan on fighting record high temperatures?… By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius!
- Why does a Time Magazine survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?… The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!
- How many climate skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.
Place for 2018
- What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
- Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
- What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
- Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
- What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
- Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
- What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
- Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
- A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
- Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
- Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming.”
- Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells.
- Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
- What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
- How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.