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- How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions!
- What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
- What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
- How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
- Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
- What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
- Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
- What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
- What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
- Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
- Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
- Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!
- Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
- Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!