Baseball Jokes: Top 75 Baseball Jokes

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Every day we will try to share a little laughter with our Joke of the Day. Check our our entire list of Top Sports Jokes!
Here is our baseball edition. We hope you enjoy. We will try to tweet one joke per day!

1. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
2. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!”
3. Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher.
4. Why are some umpires fat?…They always clean their plate!
5. Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies!
6. Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day! (Bats at the Beach is a Great Summer Book!)
7. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?… Someone stole second base!
8. Is There Baseball In Heaven? Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90′s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s baseball in heaven.” The dying man said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s baseball in heaven.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching on Wednesday.”
9. Have you ever seen a line drive?… No but I have seen a baseball park!
10. “Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?”…  ”Forget it. You just missed it.”
11. “Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?”…   “Forget it. It’s way over your head.”
12. Why is it so windy at Candlestick Park?… Because of all the Giant Fans!
13. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog?… You can buy a Fenway Frank hotdog in October!
14. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle
15. Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”…“Roof,” the dog barked. Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels….“Rough.” He still wasn’t convinced. “O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog….“Ruth.” With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: “Was it Hank Aaron?”
16. Where did the baseball player wash his socks?… In the bleachers.
17. A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”
18. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
19. Which superhero is the best at baseball?… Batman.
20. What cartoon character is the best at baseball?… Homer Simpson.
21. How do baseball players keep in touch?….They touch base every once in a while.
22. What has 18 legs and catches flies?…A baseball team!
23. Why do girls like baseball?… It’s the only sport played on a diamond!
24. “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”
25. Why are frogs good outfielders?… They never miss a fly.
26. Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball?…She had a pumpkin for a coach.
27. What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?… The swings!
28. A book never written: “How to Be a Better Baseball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.
29. What do you get when you cross a tree (Top 10 Arbor Day Jokes) with a baseball player?… Babe Root.
30. Why are singers good at baseball?… Because they have perfect pitch!
31. Do you know what cupcakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter!
32. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a double header!(101 Halloween Jokes)
33. What are the rules in zebra baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out.
34. Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?… She ran away from the ball.
35. What do baseball players use to bake a cake?… Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.
36. A book never written: “The Quickest Baseball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.
37. Why don’t baseball players join unions?… Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
38. Why is Fenway Park the coolest place to be?… Because it’s full of fans.
39. How is a baseball like a pancake?… They both need a good batter.
40. Why did the baseball player shut down his website?… He wasn’t getting any hits!
41. Son: Dad, what does a ballplayer do when his eyesight starts going bad? Dad: He gets a job as an umpire. (Top 10 Father’s Day Jokes)
42. Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?… New Jersey (New Jersey teachers are great tutors!)
43. Why did the baseball player bring a pacifier to the game?… He wanted to play like the Babe.
44. Why don’t matches play baseball?… One strike and your out!
45. What do baseball players eat on?… Home plates.
46. What is the difference between a boy who is late for dinner and a baseball hit over the fence?… One runs home and the other is a home run.
47. Why are baseball players so rich?… Because they play on diamonds!
48. What animal is best at hitting a baseball?… A bat!
49. Where do coal diggers play baseball?… In the miner (minor) leagues.
50. Why did the baseball batter go crazy?… The pitcher kept throwing screwballs.
51. If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
52. Where does a catcher sit for dinner?… Behind the plate.
53. What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?… One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.
54. What goes all the way around a baseball field but never moves?… The fence!
55. Why couldn’t the fans get soda pop at the double header?… Because the home team lost the opener.
56. Which baseball manager’s last name is Italian for ‘a long-bladed weapon of war?’ Tommy Lasorda
57. Why did the baseball team hire a cook?… They needed a good batter.
58. Why did the Angels have a ghost on their team? To add a little team spirit.(101 Halloween Jokes)
59. Where can you find the largest diamond in the world?… On a baseball field.
60. One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, “”Very well, But you realize that we’ve got all the good players, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and the best coaches.” The devil snickered, “I know, and that’s all right, We’ve got all the umpires.”
61. Which baseball players is a fruitarian?… Darryl Strawberry
62. Why did the police arrest the baseball player?… He stole 3rd base!
63. The pitcher really had good control today… Didn’t miss a bat for three innings!
64. What happens to baseball players who go blind?… They become umpires.
65. Why couldn’t Robin play baseball?… He forgot his bat, man.
66. Why is it always cool at a baseball game?… Because that is where all the fans are!
67. How is a baseball like a waffle?… They both need a good batter.
68. Why didn’t the Confederate soldier want to go to the baseball game?… He heard the Yankees were playing. (Top Social Studies Jokes)
69. When is a baseball player like a spider?… When he catches flies.
70. What is the difference between baseball and law?… In baseball, if you’re caught stealing, you’re out.
71. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?… In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
72. Why was the piano tuner hired to play baseball?… Because he had perfect pitch.
73. What are the best kind of stockings for baseball players to wear?… Stockings with runs in them.
74. Why did the Yankees play in Jellystone Park?… Because Yogi wasn’t allowed to leave the park.
75. What famous Greek might have invented baseball?… Homer.