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  1. Why don’t the apes in the jungle play poker any more?…  There are just too many Cheetahs.
  2. What does a gorilla learns in school… His Ape B C’s.
  3. Why are apes so noisy?…  They were raised in a zoo!
  4. What do you call an exploding ape?… A baboom.
  5. Do Apes kiss?… Yes, but never on the first date!
  6. How do you make an Ape float?… Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla! (Ice Cream Jokes)
  7. How do you make an Ape laugh?… Tell it a whale of a tale! (Whale Jokes)
  8. If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes, what will it become?… Wet!
  9. How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper?… The elevator was broken!
  10. What do you call an ape with a hat and wand?… Hairy potter.
  11. What do baby apes sleep in?…  Ape-ricots! (Napping Jokes)
  12. What’s the first thing an ape learns in school?…  The ape b c’s!
  13. When do monkeys fall from the sky?…  During ape-ril showers.
  14. Which sea will make you go ape?…  The chimpan-sea!
  15. What is a ape’s favorite cookie?…  Chocolate chimp!
  16. What does a Ape attorney study?… The Law of the jungle!
  17. What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes?… A banana split!
  18. When did the Apes start to picket the cookie factory?… The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!
  19. When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree, where did the Ape hiding in the uppermost branches land?… Nearby – the Ape-lle doesn’t fall far from the tree!
  20. Which author do the Gorillas love most?… Joh Steinbeck – who wrote ‘The Apes of Wrath!’
  21. Who is the Apes favourite President of recent years? Hairy Truman!
  22. Why couldn’t the Ape pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!
  23. Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!
  24. Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!
  25. Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!
  26. Why do apes have big nostrils?…  They have big fingers.
  27. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?… He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!
  28. What’s a monkey’s favorite type of computer?…  an Ape-le mac!
  29. What’s a monkey’s favourite fruit?…  An ape-le!
  30. What do apes do when they’re mad at each other?…  They have a Gorilla war!
  31. Why did the ape go to the doctor?…  Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!
  32. What do monkeys read?…  The ‘apers
  33. What’s an apes favorite drink?…  A sas-gorilla.
  34. What do monkeys wear when they are cooking?…  Ape-rons!
  35. How do apes get down the stairs?…  They slide down the banana-ster!
  36. What do apes do when they go mad?…  Go bananas!
  37. Where do chimpanzees keep their babies?…  In apricots!
  38. What do you call a ape playing quidditch?…  A hairy potter!!
  39. What’s a ape’s favorite pop group?…  Bananarama!
  40. What is a ape’s favorite toy?…  A Bab-boom-orang!
  41. What do you call six green apes?…  A bunch of gr-apes!
  42. What sort of key does a ape need to open a banana?…  A monk-key!
  43. What did the monkey say to the other monkey that went mad?…  You’ve gone completely ape!
  44. Where do apes like to get their hair cut?…  Vidal Baboon!
  45. Why do apes tell such bad stories?…  Because they have no tales!
  46. What did the banana say to the ape?…  Nothing, bananas don’t talk!

PG-13 Jokes

  1. What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper?… Listen baby, I think I’m falling for you!
  2. What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper?… Listen, hotshots, don’t monkey around with me!
  3. Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy? An ape-ricot sour!
  4. Which technique does a Ape borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?… The bear hug!