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More Christmas Eve Jokes…

  1. Why are reindeer always so happy the night of Christmas Eve?… Because they’re on top of the world! (Reindeer Jokes)
  2. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?… It’s Christmas, Eve!
  3. Why is it so easy to track Santa on Christmas Eve?… Because he always accepts cookies. (Cookie Jokes & Computer Jokes)
  4. What vaccination does Santa Claus get on Christmas Eve?… Shingles. (Doctor Jokes)
  5. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Because it soot’s him.
  6. What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there! (Christmas Eve Jokes)
  7. How does Santa get his Reindeer to fly?… He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings! (Reindeer Jokes)
  8. Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down?… The Abominable Towman. (Car Jokes & Snowman Jokes)
  9. How does Santa Claus take a picture on Christmas Eve?… With a North Pole-roid.
  10. What do you call a can that has the Christmas spirit?… A Merry can.
  11. Where does Santa and his reindeer go to get hot chocolate while flying in the sky?… Star-bucks. (Coffee Jokes & Reindeer Jokes)
  12. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?… Horn-Aments. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  13. Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist?… He no longer believed in himself. (Psychology Jokes & Santa Jokes)
  14. What do you call a kid on Christmas Eve who doesn’t believe in Santa?… A rebel without a Claus.
  15. Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?… Because every buck is dear to him! (Reindeer Jokes)
  16. What is Clarence’s (It’s a Wonderful Life) favorite baseball team?… The Angels! (Baseball Jokes)
  17. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas Eve party?… It was a BANG! (Fireworks Jokes)
  18. I’ll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail. It didn’t take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing feces on the walls… I’ll never play Monopoly with him again.
  19. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?… Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  20. What do you call a sheep who doesn’t like Christmas Eve?… Baaaaaaaa humbug.
  21. How does Christmas Eve end?… With the letter ‘E’!
  22. What’s Santas favorite snack food?… Crisp Pringles.
  23. What do you call Santa if he also lives in the South Pole?… Bi-Polar. (Psychology Jokes)
  24. Where the snowman does dances on Christmas Eve?… A snow ball!
  25. What do you call Santa’s helpers?… Subordinate Clauses. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers & Grammar Jokes)
  26. An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way” (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  27. If someone claps on the Christmas Eve then he should be called as… Santapplause!
  28. Name the child’s favorite Christmas king?… A stocking.
  29. Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?… So they could have a married Christmas. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Christmas Eve Jokes)
  30. If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?… Santa Clues!
  31. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Eve party?… He had no-body to go with. (Skeleton Jokes)
  32. What do you call a cat at the beach on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  33. Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?… The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation. (Ghost Jokes & Milk Jokes)
  34. What doesn’t Mr. Krabs celebrate Christmas Eve?… Cause he’s “Shell-Fish”
  35. What do you call a blind reindeer?.. I have no eye deer. (Reindeer Jokes)
  36. What do you call a blind reindeer with no legs?.. Still, I have no eye deer. (Reindeer Jokes)
  37. Why wouldn’t Santa ride his sleigh on Christmas Eve?… For elf and safety concerns. (Doctor Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  38. What’s the worst kind of weather you can get on Christmas Eve?… Acid raindeer. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Reindeer Jokes)
  39. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?… Because the present’s beneath them. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  40. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store on Christmas Eve?… He was looking for the holiday spirit.
  41. What do naughty reindeer eat for breakfast?… Co-coal Puffs. (Cereal Jokes)
  42. What did the apple say after Christmas Eve dinner?… Good-pie everyone. (Apple Pie Jokes)
  43. What a big candle says to a small candle on a Christmas Eve?… I am going out for dinner tonight.
  44. What is red, white, and blue and hangs on a Christmas Tree?… A sad candy cane. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  45. What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve… Ice caps.
  46. What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam. (Christmas Eve Jokes)
  47. How does Santa Claus get so much work done on Christmas Eve?… He sleighs all day.
  48. What do you call a frog hanging from a ceiling?… Mistletoad. (Frog Jokes)
  49. Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas?… He was hooked on trees his whole life. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  50. Why was Santa cast in a musical?… Because he had stage presents (presence) (Music Jokes)
  51. When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called as?… Santa Pause.
  52. What does Tarzan sing on Christmas Eve?… Jungle bells, jungle bells …  (Tarzan Jokes for Kids & Music Jokes)
  53. What does Miley Cyrus eat on Christmas Eve?… Twerk-ey! (Turkey Jokes)
  54. What do you call a singing elf with sideburns?… Elfis. (Music Jokes)
  55. What’s a good Christmas Eve tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
  56. We are thinking about making chili for Christmas Eve. We’re starting a new tradition called ‘silent but deadly night’.
  57. Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, ‘How do these represent Christmas?’ Answer: ‘They’re Carol’s.’
  58. Why does Santa have to be extra careful with his health around Christmas Eve?… It’s flue season. (Santa Jokes)
  59. What goes “oh oh oh”?… Santa walking backwards. (Santa Jokes)
  60. What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night. (Music Jokes)
  61. What do the elves cook with in the kitchen on Christmas eve?… Utinsel. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  62. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his Christmas Eve party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  63. What did the little elves have to do when they got home from school?… Gnome-work! (Elf Jokes)
  64. A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…’ He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new…’ He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother’s room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…’
  65. Who doesn’t eat on Christmas Eve?… A turkey because it is always stuffed.
  66. What monkeys sing on Christmas Eve in concert?… Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!
  67. What do you call a Christmas song parody that’s not funny?… The first no-LOL
  68. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his Christmas Eve party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  69. How do you know that Santa is a man?… No woman wears the same attire every year.
  70. What monkeys sing on Christmas Eve in concert?… Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!
  71. What a big candle says to a small candle on a Christmas Eve?… I am going out for dinner tonight.
  72. What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?… Ice caps.
  73. If someone claps on the Christmas Eve then he should be called as — Santapplause!
  74. The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
  75. Why did the Karen travel to Bethlehem on Christmas Eve?… She wanted to speak to the manger!
  76. What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?… Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning. (Cemetery Jokes)
  77. My childhood memories of Christmas are dominated by the time I sneaked downstairs one Christmas Eve and heard my mother telling Father Christmas that he was a fat, lazy, good for nothing drunken slob… I saw mommy dissing Santa Claus…
  78. My dad is the meanest person in the world On Christmas Eve, he fired his air gun in to the sky, and came back inside to tell me that Santa has committed suicide.