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More Lobster Jokes…

  1. Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said “Lobster Tails: $2”.So I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster… (Book Jokes & Maine Jokes)
  2. I was at a restaurant last night and I asked the waiter, “How do you prepare the lobster?” He said, “We just tell him the truth, man. This is the end of the line.” (Cemetery Jokes)
  3. Weren’t you a professional lobster fisherman?… Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand. (Labor Day Jokes)
  4. What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?… The lobsters in the kitchen.
  5. In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work?… The crust station. (Labor Day Jokes & Bread Jokes)
  6. A man ordered lobster for dinner…And when the waiter brought it to him, he complained, “Hey, this lobster has only one claw!”The waiter said, “That lobster was in a fight.”“Okay then,” replied the man, “Bring me the winner!” (Boxing Jokes)
  7. Maine: We’re Really Cold… But We Have Cheap Lobster. (Maine Jokes)
  8. Why don’t lobsters share?… They’re shellfish.
  9. Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  10. What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. (Lobster Jokes & Maine Jokes)
  11. What did the lobster fisherman say when he found his crate empty on the wharf?… There a-piers to be a problem. (Fishing Jokes)
  12. There are no hipster lobsters… In a Maine stream! (Maine Jokes)
  13. Why did the lobster take such a long time to learn just the basics of the English alphabet?… Probably because he spent a lot of years at C. (Jokes for Teachers)
  14. Have you heard about the lobster who started going to the gym?… It pulled a mussel.
  15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about lobsters? 
  16. Irish Lobsters: The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find a grim-faced Constable & one waiting in the front yard.”We’re sorry, Mr. O’Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen” said one of the officers.””Tell me! Did you find her?” Michael Patrick O’Flynn asked.The constables looked at each other and one said,”We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”Fearing the worst, Mr. O’Flynn said, “Give me the bad news first.”The constable said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife’s body in the bay.””Lord sufferin’ Jesus and Holy Mother of God!” exclaimed O’Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What could possibly be the good news?”The constable continued, “When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven’t seen lobsters like that since the 1960’s, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”Stunned, Mr. O’ Flynn demanded, “Glory be to God, if that’s the good news, then what’s the really great news?”The constable replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow. (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  17. What is a lobster’s favorite shot in tennis?… The “lob” of course! (Sports Jokes for Kids & Tennis Jokes)
  18. I was a professional lobsterman… but I couldn’t live on my net income. (Labor Day Jokes)
  19. What did the confused lobster ask when he didn’t understand?… Can you please be a little more pacific? (Ocean Jokes for Kids) 
  20. What music does a lobster listen to?… Bisque-o. (Music Jokes)
  21. What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces?… Claw-strophobic. (Psychology Jokes)