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- Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said “Lobster Tails: $2”.So I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster… (Book Jokes & Maine Jokes)
- A man ordered lobster for dinner…And when the waiter brought it to him, he complained, “Hey, this lobster has only one claw!”The waiter said, “That lobster was in a fight.”“Okay then,” replied the man, “Bring me the winner!” (Boxing Jokes)
- I was a professional lobsterman, but I couldn’t live on my net income. (Labor Day Jokes)
- In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work?… The crust station. (Labor Day Jokes & Bread Jokes)
- Why don’t lobsters share?… They’re shellfish.
- How does a lobster answer the phone?… Shello?
- Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster. (Maine Jokes)
- Why are lobsters bad at relationships?… Too shellfish.
- Why is a lobster a bad spouse?… Too shellfish.
- What is the perfect name for a pet lobster?… Clawde.
- What do lobsters drink in the morning?… Clawfee.
- Where does a lobster keep its clothes?… In the clawset.
- What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. (Lobster Jokes & Maine Jokes)
- Did you hear about the fight at red lobster?… Four fish were battered!
- I was at a restaurant last night and I asked the waiter, “How do you prepare the lobster?” He said, “We just tell him the truth, man. This is the end of the line.”
- Where do crabs and lobsters park their public transport vehicles?… At the Bustacean.
- Irish Lobsters: The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find a grim-faced Constable & one waiting in the front yard.”We’re sorry, Mr. O’Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen” said one of the officers.””Tell me! Did you find her?” Michael Patrick O’Flynn asked.The constables looked at each other and one said,”We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”Fearing the worst, Mr. O’Flynn said, “Give me the bad news first.”The constable said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife’s body in the bay.””Lord sufferin’ Jesus and Holy Mother of God!” exclaimed O’Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What could possibly be the good news?”The constable continued, “When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven’t seen lobsters like that since the 1960’s, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”Stunned, Mr. O’ Flynn demanded, “Glory be to God, if that’s the good news, then what’s the really great news?”The constable replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow. (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- What is a Lobster’s favorite shot in tennis?… The “lob” of course! (Sports Jokes for Kids & Tennis Jokes)
- What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?… The lobsters in the kitchen.
- Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
- A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters. A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters. He has two in his boat when the police approach him. The man claims he’s not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he’s just taking them for a swim. “I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me. “So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back. Call who back?” (Police Jokes)