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More September Jokes… 

  1. Top 10 September Jokes: What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  2. Top 10 Full Moon Jokes: Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  3. 101 Back to School Jokes Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  4. If the #2 pencil is the most popular in schools, why isn’t it #1? (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
  5. A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings. (Book Jokes)
  6. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer vacation – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  7. Knock Knock!… Who’s there!… B-2!… B-2 who?… B-2 school on time! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  8. September 7th: Labor Day Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’ (Father’s Day Jokes)
  9. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey…. Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to school today? (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  10. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  11. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” (Teacher Jokes & Train Jokes)
  12. How do bees get to school?… By school buzz! (Bee Jokes)
  13. Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Head teacher!’ (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  14. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  15. How can you make the first day of school fly by?… Throw a clock! (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  16. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Back to School Jokes & Top 50 State Jokes)
  17. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  18. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (180 School Jokes)
  19. Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework. (180 School Jokes)
  20. Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. Student: Me! (Elementary School Jokes)
  21. Why did the math book look so sad when school started again?…  Because it had so many problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  22. How do you get straight A’s?… By using a ruler!
  23. Knock Knock…Who is there?… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your homework! (Teacher Jokes)
  24. Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.” (Cat Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  25. Why did nose not want to go to school?… He was tired of getting picked on! (Biology Jokes)
  26. What did the calculator say to the girl on the first day of school?… Pick me and I’ll solve all your problems! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  27. Why did the echo get detention on the first day of school?… It kept answering back. (Principal Jokes)
  28. What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. (US History Jokes & Snake Jokes)
  29. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
  30. What school supply is always tired?… A knapsack! (Napping Jokes for Kids)
  31. Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy first day of school?… He only had one pupil. (Biology Jokes)
  32. The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  33. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  34. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4 ! B-4 who?… B-4 you go to bed, do your homework! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  35. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High school. (High School Jokes)
  36. What flies around an elementary school at night?… The alpha-bat. (Elementary School Jokes & Bat Jokes)
  37. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school. (Surfing Jokes)
  38. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?… Knight school. (Knight Jokes)
  39. Why was the obtuse angle so upset at school?…  Because it was never right. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  40. What did the math teacher have for dessert in the 1st day of school?… Pi. (Pi Day Jokes & Math Jokes for Kids)
  41. Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  42. Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free. (Teacher Jokes)
  43. Why was school easier for cave people?… Because there was no history to study! (US History Jokes)
  44. What vegetables to librarians like?… Quiet peas. (Library Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  45. Why did the little vampires stay up all night?… They were studying for a blood test. (Halloween Jokes & Vampire Jokes)
  46. Why was the geometry book so adorable?…  Because it had acute angles.  (Math Jokes for Kids)
  47. The first day of school wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by the second day of school, and the third day of school, and then the fourth day of school…. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  48. Who is everyone’s best friend on the first day of school?… Their princi-PAL. (Principal Jokes)
  49. What do elves learn in school?… The elf-abet! (Christmas Jokes / Elf Jokes / Christmas Trivia Answers)
  50. Principal: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s Friday! (Principal Jokes for Kids)
  51. Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I ate it. Teacher: Why?! Student: You said it was piece of cake! (Cake Jokes)
  52. Mother: How do you like your new teacher? Son: I don’t. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn’t give me one! (Mother’s Day Jokes & Mom Jokes)
  53. Student: “Teacher, may I leave the room?” Teacher: “Well, you certainly can’t take it with you.”
  54. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?… Stop going in circles and get to the point! (Pencil Jokes)
  55. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?… Bookworms. (Fishing Jokes & Library Jokes)
  56. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions. (Magic Jokes)
  57. With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his. The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” she asked. “I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.” (Elementary School Jokes & Snow Jokes)
  58. On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?… June, July & August. (Summer Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  59. A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class. (Book Jokes)
  60. Why did the kid study in the airplane?… Because he wanted a higher education! (Pilot Jokes & Travel Guest Blogs)
  61. What is the school’s tallest room?… The library because it has the most stories. (Library Jokes)
  62. What did the algebra book say to the science book?…  Boy, do I have problems! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  63. Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school?…  He thought it was sundae school. (Kindergarten Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
  64. Which class was the caterpillar excited about on his first day in school?…Mothematics. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  65. Why did the girl wear glasses during math class?… To improve her di-vison. (Math Jokes for Kids) 
  66. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Geometry Jokes / Tree Jokes / Arbor Day Jokes)
  67. Son: I think we need a new teacher. Mom: Why is that? Son: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers.
  68. Why did the broom get a poor grade in class?… Because it was always sweeping during class! (Napping Jokes for Kids)
  69. WATSON: What school did you go to, Holmes? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson! (Elementary School Jokes)
  70. Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”. Student: Today and Tomorrow. (Teacher Jokes)
  71. What did the math book say to the history book?…  You know you can count on me. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  72. A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss. (Calculus Jokes & High School Jokes)
  73. Which grade school children have the greenest thumbs?… The kindergardeners. (Kindergarten Jokes)
  74. What U.S. state has the most math teachers?… Mathachussets. (Massachusetts Jokes)
  75. Son: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do. Mom: What was that? Son: My homework! (Teacher Jokes) 
  76. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?… Because they’re all in High School. (Elementary School Jokes / Giraffe Jokes / High School Jokes)
  77. Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet? Student: In jail! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  78. What room can a student never enter?… A Mushroom.
  79. Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet. Student: But these are the only feet I’ve got! (Biology Jokes)
  80. Why would a music teacher might need a ladder?… The reach the high notes. (Music Jokes)
  81. Teacher: Name four members of the cat family. Student: Mother, father, sister and brother.
  82. Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located? Students: At the great airports! (Geography Jokes & Pilot Jokes)
  83. Son: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Son: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling. (Mother’s Day Jokes & Math Jokes for Kids)
  84. What food do math teachers eat?… Square meals! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  85. Why did the teacher write the class rules on the windows?… She wanted it to be very clear for her students. 
  86. How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom?… His keys were inside the piano! (Music Jokes)
  87. Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O. (Chemistry Jokes & Mole Day Jokes)
  88. What do little astronauts get when they do their homework?… Gold stars. (Astronomy Jokes)
  89. Teacher: Why are you late for class?… Student: Because of the sign on the road? Teacher: What sign? Student: School Ahead. Go slow! (Teacher Jokes)
  90. Teacher: Can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed? Student: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom. (American Revolution Jokes)
  91. Son: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.Son: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  92. Teacher: I’m your teacher this year. My name is Mr. Wilson. Can you all remember that? Student: If we can’t, we’re going to have one hard time with the 9 times tables. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  93. Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow?… It always went back four seconds. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  94. What treat do math teachers in Maine bring to the first day of class?…  Whoopie Pi’s. (Pi Day Jokes & Maine Jokes)
  95. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?… Pop quizzes! (Elementary School Jokes)
  96. Why is glue bad at math?…  It always gets stuck on the problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  97. What did the girl say to her math book?…  Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  98. What tool did the boy bring to his first math class?…  Multi-plyers. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  99. Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?… To protect himself from mathema-ticks. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  100. “We have too many quizzes in school!” The student said testily.
  101. Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Jess!… Jess Who?… Jess (just) wait till I tell you about my first day back to school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  102. Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: I want you to write 100 times, “I will come to school prepared.” Student: With what?
  103. Why didn’t the sun go to high school?… Because it already had a million degrees! (College Jokes & High School Jokes)
  104. Son: I think we need a new teacher. Mom: Why is that? Son: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers.