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Top 10 Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia & Answers

  1. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
  2. What is the best Christmas present in the world?… A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Music Jokes)
  3. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history.  (Reindeer Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  4. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
  5. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music! (Music Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  6. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen. (Christmas Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  7. Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents. (Star Wars Jokes)
  8. What nationality is Santa?… North Polish! (World Geography Jokes)
  9. What do call a middle school student afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic. (Middle School Jokes)
  10. Knock knockWho’s there?… Irish... Irish who?… Irish you a Merry Christmas! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  11. What is Clarence’s (It’s a Wonderful Life) favorite baseball team?… The Angels! (Baseball Jokes)
  12. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you! (Reindeer Jokes)
  13. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Psychology Jokes / High School Psychology Lessons / Elf Jokes)
  14. What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?… Idaho-ho-ho! (Idaho Jokes)
  15. What’s Santa’s dog’s name?… Santa Paws! (Dog Jokes)
  16. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?… There’s Noel! (Teacher Jokes & Top 10 Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  17. What is a basketball player’s favorite Christmas song?… “Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three!” (Christmas Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  18. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG! (Fireworks Jokes)
  19. A book never written: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.
  20. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.” (Reindeer Jokes)
  21. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph!(Reindeer Jokes)
  22. What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?…Welfy. (Elf Jokes)
  23. How does Christmas Day end?… With the letter ‘Y’!
  24. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet! (Back to School Jokes Elf Jokes)
  25. What is Rudolph’s favorite NBA basketball team?… The Milwaukee Bucks. (Basketball Jokes & Wisconsin Jokes)
  26. What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam. (Christmas Eve Jokes)
  27. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  28. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt! (Top 10 Karate Jokes)
  29. Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin. (Music Jokes)
  30. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Murray… Murray who?… Murray Christmas, one and all! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
  31. How do you know when Santa’s in the room?… You can sense his presents.
  32. What do you call an outlaw who steals gift wrapping from the rich to give to the poor?… Ribbon Hood.
  33. Elves use what kind of money?… Jingle bills! (Elf Jokes)
  34. How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?” (Elf Jokes) & Disney Jokes)
  35. How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (American Revolution Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  36. What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?… “Santa Jaws!” (Shark Jokes)
  37. What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?… One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh. (Reindeer Jokes & Knight Jokes)
  38. What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?… A list of everything I want! (Mother’s Day Jokes & Father’s Day Jokes)
  39. What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?… Jungle bells, jungle bells …  (Tarzan Jokes for Kids & Music Jokes)
  40. Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?… Comet stayed home to clean the sink. (Reindeer Jokes)
  41. What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?… A pineapple! (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  42. A book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
  43. What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?… “I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!” (September Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  44. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?… Because they’re Santa’s star bucks! (Reindeer Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
  45. A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  46. What do fish sing during winter?… Christmas corals. (Music Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  47. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?… He was hooked on trees his whole life. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  48. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Olive… Olive, who?… Olive the other reindeer. (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Reindeer Jokes)
  49. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?… Ornamints. (Candy Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  50. Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’? (Elf Jokes)
  51. What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?…  Tinsel-itis! (Doctor Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  52. Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down?… The Abominable Towman. (Car Jokes / Christmas Eve Jokes / Snowman Jokes)
  53. Why are Santa’s deers always wet?… Because they’re reindeers!
  54. What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?… Turkey and Greece. (World Geography Jokes)
  55. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy. (Cookie Jokes)
  56. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?… Because every single buck is dear to him! (Reindeer Jokes)
  57. Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store. (Reindeer Jokes)
  58. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?… A cookie sheet! (Cookie Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  59. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?… The Who! (Music Jokes)
  60. What’s St. Nicholas’s favorite measurement in the metric system?… The Santameter! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  61. Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?… Holly-wood! (California Jokes)
  62. What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?… “‘Tis the season to be jelly!” (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  63. What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?… “Season’s bleatings!” (Sheep Jokes)
  64. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?… Crisp Pringles!
  65. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite track & field event?… North Pole-vaulting! (Track & Field Jokes)
  66. Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?… Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!” (Lamb Jokes)
  67. Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them! (Reindeer Jokes)
  68. What Do You Sing At An Elf’s Birthday Party?… Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow! (Elf Jokes / Music Jokes / Birthday Jokes)
  69. What cars do elves drive?… A toy Yoda. (Star Wars Jokes & Car Jokes)
  70. How did Scrooge win the football game?… The ghost of Christmas passed. (Football Jokes)
  71. What is Santa’s primary language?… North Polish. (World Geography Jokes)
  72. Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?… So they could have a married Christmas. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Christmas Eve Jokes)
  73. What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?… Yule-Tide.
  74. What carol is heard in the desert?… O camel ye faithful! (Music Jokes)
  75. What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?… Blitzen-krieg Bop. (Music Jokes)
  76. Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?… Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone. (Music Jokes)
  77. What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?… Santapplause! (Elf Jokes)
  78. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! (Reindeer Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  79. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his Christmas Eve party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes / Christmas Trivia / Christmas Eve Jokes)
  80. What did the reindeer say to the football player?… “Your Blitzen days are over!” (Reindeer Jokes & Football Jokes)
  81. How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?… “Fleece Navidad!” (Music Jokes & Sheep Jokes)
  82. Why does Santa go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
  83. What did the pepper say on its holiday card?… “Season’s greetings.”
  84. What does Santa say at the start of a race?… Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho! (Track & Field Jokes)
  85. What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  86. Knock knock…Who’s there?… Hannah…. Hannah who?… Hannah partridge in a pear tree! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Music Jokes) Tree Jokes
  87. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Dexter… Dexter, who?… Dexter halls with boughs of holly. (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
  88. What type of cars do elves drive?… Toy-otas. (Car Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  89. Which holiday mascot has the least spare change?… St. Nickel-less
  90. How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas?… The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.
  91. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?… RUDEolph. (Reindeer Jokes)
  92. What do you call an elf who sings?… A wrapper! (Elf Jokes & Music Jokes)
  93. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?… A rebel without a Claus.
  94. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?… Saint Nickel-less.
  95. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?… It needed to be trimmed. (Barber Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  96. What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?… Present. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  97. What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?… A dependent Claus.
  98. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?… Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe. (Reindeer Jokes)
  99. What kind of bike does Santa Claus ride?… A Holly Davidson.
  100. What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?… Santa Clues! (Police Jokes)
  101. When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?… Sandy Claus. (Summer Jokes & Elf Jokes)