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Ocean Jokes for Kids

  1. Why did the whale cross the road?… To get to the other tide! (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  2. How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved. (Full Moon Jokes for Kids)
  3. Where do goldfish go on vacation?… Around the globe! (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Geography Jokes for Kids)
  4. What kind of turtles and are easy to see?… Green See Turtles. (Turtle Jokes for Kids)
  5. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved! (Ocean Jokes)
  6. What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
  7. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  8. Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
  9. Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
  10. What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
  11. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
  12. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
  13. Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
  14. What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  15. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
  16. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
  17. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
  18. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers!
  19. What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
  20. What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels. (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  21. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
  22. Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
  23. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
  24. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
  25. Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.
  26. What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
  27. What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  28. What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  29. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
  30. Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
  31. What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.

PG-13

  1. What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
  2. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
  3. What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
  4. Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
  5. What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
  6. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
  7. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  8. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
  9. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
  10. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
  11. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
  12. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming.”
  13. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells.
  14. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
  15. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  16. How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.

Geography Jokes for Kids

  1. Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! (Walking Jokes for Kids)

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

What did the beach say as the tide came in?… Long time no sea. (Geography Jokes for Kids)

Where do gymnasts go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Gymnastics Jokes for Kids)

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What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?… AARRRGHentina! (Top Pirate Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)

Where did Avogadro send his CARE packages?… Moleasia (101 Mole Day Jokes)

What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use. (Top Math Jokes of All-Time & World Geography Jokes)

How did Christopher Columbus finance his way to the new land?… With his Discover card! (Top Columbus Day Jokes)

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors! & Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What did the puny rock say to the big muscle rock?… I wish I were boulder!

What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?… Both are legends.

What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?… A stamp.

“Old geographers never die, they just become legends.” (Top Social Studies Jokes)

Why was longitude boiling mad?… Because it was 360 degrees.

What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Which state does the most laundry?… Washington. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why do paper maps never win at poker?… Because they always fold. (Top Sports Jokes)

Why are maps like fish?…. Both have scales.

Why do senior military officials like small scale maps?… Because they have been GENERAL-ized.

What has four eyes but can’t see?… Mississippi! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

“Geologists aren’t perfect, they have their faults.”

Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Teacher: “It’s clear that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?” Student: “Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So, I decided to wait until it settles down!” (Top Teacher Jokes)

Why didn’t the map projection finish his speech?… He was interrupted.

How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?… Because they’re all graduated.

How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Top Teacher Jokes)

Why didn’t the map grids go to the popular dance club?… Because they were all squares. (Top Geometry Jokes)

What did the daddy volcano say to his son volcano?… “I lava you” (Top 10 Father’s Day Jokes)

What did the ground say to the earthquake?… Hey, you crack me up!

Which is the biggest cow that doesn’t give milk?… Moscow! (World Geography Jokes)

Where does the president send his dirty clothes?… To Wash-ington D.C.! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why did the dot go to college?… Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol. 

What has a mouth but can’t eat?… A river!

What is round at each end and high in the middle?… Ohio(U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors! Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Where do all the pencils come from?… Pennsylvania(Pennsylvania Teachers are Great Tutors! & Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

“Geologists don’t dislike classical music, they just prefer rock.” (Great Twitter Accounts for Music Teachers!Liberal Arts Music Education Rocks!)

What city always cheats at exams?… Peking. (World Geography Jokes)Where does the president send his dirty clothes

Where do you find an ocean without water?… On a map!

What place is mentioned in this joke?… The Red Sea. (World Geography Jokes)

Where does the president send his dirty clothes?… Washington.

What other place is mentioned in this joke?… The Black Sea. (World Geography Jokes)

What is the tallest building in the world?… The library of course, it has the most stories!

What’s the happiest state in the union?… Merry-land! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What is the spiciest country?… Chile! (Chili) (World Geography Jokes)

Why is it easy to get into Florida?… Because there are so many keys. (Florida Teachers are Great Tutors! & Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What tower cannot eat anything?… The I Full Tower (Eiffel) (World Geography Jokes)

What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?… A dozen compass roses. (Top 10 Valentine’s Day Jokes)

What did Delaware?… A New Jersey. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)
What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)

Why does west longitude need to be cheered up?… Because it is always negative.

Where is it always 90 degrees, but never hot?… The North and South Poles. (Top Winter Jokes)

Why didn’t true north date magnetic north?… She didn’t like his bearing.

Why did the cartographer put the projection in a hangar?… It was a plane projection.

Which is the biggest rope in the world?… Europe. (World Geography Jokes)

“Old geographers never die, they just lose their bearings.”

What map element plays in the band?… The symbols (cymbals).

Did you hear about the map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.

What’s the capital of Washington?… W. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What do you call a city without mini apples?… Mini-apple-less. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What did the sea say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

What is the biggest pan in the world ?… Japan! (World Geography Jokes)

Why can fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.

What sort of pudding roams wild in the Arctic circle?… Moose. (World Geography Jokes)

Why don’t people want to live in Illinois?… ‘Cause of too much noise!

What projection do birds use to track their migration?… A robins-son (Robinson) projection.

What kind of map plays CD’s?… A stereo map.

What is a penguin’s favorite aunt?… Aunt Arctica! (World Geography Jokes)

Why don’t cartography librarians wear high heels?… They prefer map flats.

“Old geologists never die, they just petrify.”

“Old geologists never die, they just get stoned.”

What do geographers grow in their gardens?…Compass roses.

What is the highest road?… The Highway.

Which has the higher IQ, latitude or longitude?… Longitude; it’s got 360 degrees!

What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps. (Top Winter Jokes)

What rocks do young geologists play with?… Marbles.

Why weren’t there any parallels on the map?… Because the cartographer didn’t have any latitude in his map design.

What did Tennessee?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why was the map gesturing wildly?… It was an animated map.

Where do fish keep their money?… In riverbanks.

Why did the equator win the MVP (most valuable parallel) award at the Latitude Super Bowl?… Because it was a great circle. (Top Sports Jokes)

What did Delaware?… New Jersey. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)

What is round at each end and high in the middle?… Ohio(U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)

What is the fastest country in the world?… Russia. (Top Sports Jokes & World Geography Jokes)

What kind of maps do spiders make?… Web-based maps.

What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?… Juveniles (World Geography Jokes)

What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?… AARRRGHentina! (101 Pi Day Jokes)

What is the tidiest element on a map?… The neatline.

What’s big, white, furry and always points North?… A Polar Bearing. (World Geography Jokes)

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector. (Top Math Jokes of All-Time)

What do an astrologist and a cartographer have in common?… They both specialize in projections. (Top Winter Jokes)

Why does the Bogie Man know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend. (101 Halloween Jokes)

Teacher: So where did you go for your holiday last year? Student: Spain Teacher: A cheap place like the Costa Brava? Student: No, very expensive, Costa Fortune! (Top Teacher Jokes)

What kind of projection do 3 out of 4 ear, nose, and throat specialists prefer?… A sinus-oidal map projection.

What is the biggest mark in the world?… Denmark. (World Geography Jokes)

Why were the rocks excited to go to the birthday bash?… They knew they’d have a SMASHING good time.

What do you get if you cross a farm animal with a map maker?… A cow-tographer!

What goes thousands of miles and never moves?… A highway!

What is the most polite building in the world?… The leaning tower of Please-a

What did the sea say to the river?… Nothing it just waved

Why didn’t the map have any meridians?…. It was a map of a parallel universe.

Why did the cartographer put a band-aid on the map?… Because it had a bleeding edge.

What projection is used to map the distribution of chocolate lovers?… The Bonne-Bonne (bon bon) projection.

What do you call a map showing the heights of leafy-stemmed perennial herbs measured in centimeters?…. A daisy metric map.

What’s in the middle of the ocean?… Letter E!

What do Clint Eastwood and a map key have in common?… Both are legends.

What kind of contours can see in the dark?…. Illuminated contours.

Which state can you serve at a restaurant?… Mini Soda (Minnesota) (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What do you get when you cross a cowboy with a mapmaker?… A cow-tographer.

Why can’t you ever play a board game in the jungle?… There’s always gonna be a cheetah!

What is the coldest country in the world?… Chile! (World Geography Jokes)

Teacher: Where were you born? Student: India. Teacher: Which part? What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in India!

Where do you dance in California?… San Frandisco! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii) (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Italy got Hungary. Ate Turkey. Slipped on Greece. Went shopping in Iceland. And then got eaten by Wales! (World Geography Jokes)

Who did Mississippi get married too?… Mr Sippi! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why don’t you see penguins in Great Britain?… Because they are afraid of Wales! (World Geography Jokes)

What city has lots of sand?… Sand Francisco! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What’s in the middle of Paris?… The letter R! 

If we put a yellow rock in the Red Sea what will happen?… It will become wet!

What is in the middle of India?… The letter ‘D’!

What did the Indian ocean say to the Pacific ocean?… Nothing, it just waved.

What country in Europe satisfies Hungary?… Turkey! (World Geography Jokes)

Why is Mississippi such an unusual river?… It has four eyes and can’t even see!

What U.S. state is best at producing cheese?… Swiss-consin! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What is the smallest state?… Mini-Sota (Minnesota)! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why was the Egyptian boy worried?…. Because his daddy became a mummy!

What is the cleanest state?… Washington! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What is in the centre of America?… The letter “R”. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What is the sweatiest country?… Iran! (World Geography Jokes)

Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey? (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What do you call someone from Detroit who talks a lot?… A Motor City mouth! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Why is North Korea evil?… Because it has no Seoul! (World Geography Jokes)

Why is the state Mississippi so odd?… Because it has four I’s but can’t see! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

Teacher: What is the shape of the earth? Student: Square! Teacher: Why? Student: Because, my father says your fame should spread to all four corners of the world! (World Geography Jokes)

If a plane crashed on the border of Canada and USA, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (World Geography Jokes)

What runs but never goes out of breath?… A river!

If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?… It will become WET! (World Geography Jokes)

Which state has the smallest drink?… Minnesota (Mini-soda) (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)

What area did Avogadro explore?… The South Mole! (101 Mole Day Jokes)

Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages?… He was a man of many cultures. (Top Biology Jokes)

Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?… It’s a little meteor! (Full Moon Jokes)

“Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?”… “To get to the other side?” (Full Moon Jokes)

24 Knock Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Yukon Yukon who?… Yukon never get bored of geography jokes. (World Geography Jokes)
  2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Hawaii… Hawaii who?… I’m fine, Hawaii you? (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)
  3. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Alaska… Alaska who?… Alaska later, right now I’m busy. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)
  4. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Jamaica… Jamaica who?… Jamaica her do that, or was it her own decision? (World Geography Jokes)
  5. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Genoa Genoa who?… Genoa, cos I’ve never seen her before in my life. (World Geography Jokes)
  6. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Medina… Medina who?… Medina’s on the table so I’ve got to go. (World Geography Jokes)
  7. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Norway… Norway who? …Norway am I telling you any more knock, knock jokes. (World Geography Jokes)
  8. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nile… Nile who?… Nile down and I’ll tell you. (World Geography Jokes)
  9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Oman… Oman who?… Oman, these jokes are bad! (World Geography Jokes)
  10. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?…. Kenya think of anything that’s more fun than geography or geography jokes? (World Geography Jokes)
  11. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Marge and Tina… Marge and Tina who?… “Don’t cry for me, Marge and Tina” ( The song from Evita)
  12. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canada… Canada who?…. Can Ada come and play please mum? (World Geography Jokes)
  13. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Waterfall… Waterfall who? Water fall I am not to like geography.
  14. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Wiltshire… Wiltshire who? Wiltshire sit down and I’ll tell you.
  15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Korea… Korea who? Nothing beats a korea as a geographer. (World Geography Jokes)
  16. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Francis Francis who? France is a country in Europe. (World Geography Jokes)
  17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Ammonia… Ammonia who? Ammonia beginner but I love geography already.
  18. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Amsterdam…. Amsterdam who?… Amsterdam tired of all these geography jokes. (World Geography Jokes)
  19. Knock, knock… Who’s there?…. Wendy…. Wendy who?… Wendy river bends we call it a meander.
  20. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Bucharest… Bucharest who?… Bucharest at my hotel, you’ll not regret it. (World Geography Jokes)
  21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nicosia… Nicosia who?… Clothing for sale. Buy your socks and Nicosia.
  22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Jamaica…. Jamaica who?… Jamaica me crazy with all these BAD geography jokes! (World Geography Jokes)
  23. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Tank… Tank who?…. Tank you for teaching me geography these geography jokes!
  24. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Ivan… Ivan who?… Ivan awful headache after reading all these jokes on the geographical jokes!