Top 47 Maine Jokes

by | Mar 17, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. People from Maine are so self-centered… All their T-Shirts and mugs say “I ❤️ ME”!
  2. Maine Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Maine Native: “No, not yet.”
  3. Are there several ways to abbreviate Maine?… Or is it just me
  4. What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. (Lobster Jokes)
  5. Why did the Maine lobster blush?… It saw the Atlantic Ocean’s bottom. (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  6. Why don’t Maine lobsters share?… They’re shellfish. (Lobster Jokes)
  7. How does a lobster answer the phone?… Shello? (Lobster Jokes)
  8. I was a Maine lobsterman, but I couldn’t live on my net income. (Labor Day Jokes)
  9. Did you hear the joke about Mount Katahdin?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
  10. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport?… Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. (President’s Day Jokes)
  11. My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish. You might say a New England clam chowed her.
  12. Our sailing trip in Maine was going great… until we were capsized by Augusta wind. (Sailing Jokes)
  13. A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: “mayday mayday. We’re 12 miles out on a capsized boat.” “no can do” Pierre said, “We’ve got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.” (Sailing Jokes)
  14. I’ve read my first Stephen King novel… IT was a Maine event.
  15. Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster. (Lobster Jokes)
  16. Where do Maine fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Saco River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Maine)
  17. What is a lion’s favorite state?… Maine. (Lion Jokes & Animal Jokes)
  18. Where do horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Kentucky Derby Jokes & Horse Jokes)
  19. For Sale Maine: You can spit on Canada from here. (World Geography Jokes)
  20. Maine Political Campaign Slogan: “Let’s Keep the Maine Thing The Main Thing. (Election Jokes)
  21. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes)
  22. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Maine shore?… Nothing, it just waved! (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  23. What did Moosehead Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.  (15 Best Lakes in Maine)
  24. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Maine woods?… Moose. (Moose Jokes & Animal Jokes)
  25. What is a horse’s favorite state?… Maine. (Horse Jokes)
  26. Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?… Because Missouri loves company. (Missouri Jokes)
  27. What is a Maine lobster’s favorite shot in tennis?… The “lob” of course! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  28. If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?… Snappy talk.
  29. What did one horse Kentucky Derby horse say to the other horse?… The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane. (Kentucky Derby Jokes)
  30. Do you know you can’t hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine?… You have to use a rope.
  31. Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?… Because Maine loves company.
  32. What is the capital of Maine?… “M.”
  33. What is the tallest building in Maine?… The Portland Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  34. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Maine Turnpike! (Car Jokes)
  35. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Saint John River!
  36. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Kennebec River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  37. If a plane crashed on the borders New Hampshire and Maine of where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  38. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Maine. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  39. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  40. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  41. Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  42. Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  43. Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  44. Waiter, waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner. (Boxing Jokes)
  45. There are no hipster lobsters… …In a Maine stream.
  46. What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine?… An L.L. Beaner
  47. What’s the difference between a northern Maine woman and a moose?… ’bout 50 pounds and a flannel shirt. (Moose Jokes)