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101 Christmas Jokes for Kids & Christmas Trivia & Answers

  1. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
  2. What is the best Christmas present in the world?… A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Music Jokes)
  3. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
  4. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music! (Music Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  5. What nationality is Santa?… North Polish! (World Geography Jokes)
  6. What do call a middle school student afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic. (Middle School Jokes)
  7. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you! (Reindeer Jokes)
  8. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Psychology Jokes / High School Psychology Lessons / Elf Jokes)
  9. A book never written: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.
  10. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.” (Reindeer Jokes)
  11. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph!(Reindeer Jokes)
  12. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet! (Back to School Jokes Elf Jokes)
  13. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt! (Top 10 Karate Jokes)
  14. Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin. (Music Jokes)
  15. What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?… A list of everything I want! (Mother’s Day Jokes & Father’s Day Jokes)
  16. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Murray… Murray who?… Murray Christmas, one and all! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
  17. What do you call a cat on a summer camp field trip to the beach?…. Sandy claws. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids / Christmas Jokes / Cat Jokes)
  18. How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (American Revolution Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  19. What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?… “Santa Jaws!” (Shark Jokes)
  20. Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?… Comet stayed home to clean the sink. (Reindeer Jokes)
  21. What do you call a snowman at a July Summer Camp?… A puddle. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids / July Jokes / Snowman Jokes)
  22. What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?… Jungle bells, jungle bells …  (Tarzan Jokes for Kids & Music Jokes)
  23. What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?…  “Baaaa humbug!” (Sheep Jokes)
  24. One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”His wife asked, “How do you know?”“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.” (Reindeer Jokes & Viking Jokes)
  25. What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?… They both have sandy claws. (Cat Jokes)
  26. What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?… Anytime! (Daylight Saving Jokes)
  27. What’s Santa’s dog’s name?… Santa Paws! (Dog Jokes)
  28. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Pizza…. Pizza, who?… Pizza on earth, good will toward men! (Pizza Jokes & Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
  29. What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?… The Finch Who Stole Christmas. (Bird Jokes)
  30. Where do snowmen keep their money?… In a snow bank. (Snowman Jokes)
  31. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?… Because the present’s beneath them. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  32. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?… Chill out. (Snowman Jokes)
  33. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Winter Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  34. What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?… A pineapple! (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  35. A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  36. Friend: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year? Other Friend: I haven’t decided yet. Friend: What did you give him last year? Other Friend: The measles. (Doctor Jokes)
  37. What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?… Santa Claws.
  38. What do road crews use at the North Pole?… Snow cones! (Snow Jokes)
  39. Where do polar bears vote?… The North Poll! (World Geography Jokes & Election Jokes)
  40. Teacher: Define claustrophobia. Student: Fear of Santa Claus? (Psychology Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
  41. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Olive… Olive, who?… Olive the other reindeer. (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Reindeer Jokes)
  42. How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?… His sleigh is flown by raindeer. (Reindeer Jokes)
  43. What do elves do after school?… Their gnome work! (Elf jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  44. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history.  (Reindeer Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  45. What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?… One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh. (Reindeer Jokes & Knight Jokes)
  46. What do fish sing during winter?… Christmas corals. (Music Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  47. Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents. (Star Wars Jokes)
  48. When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.” (Snowman Jokes)
  49. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?… Ornamints. (Candy Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  50. “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?” (Elf Jokes)
  51. What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?…  Tinsel-itis! (Doctor Jokes& Christmas Tree Jokes)
  52. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?… Frostbite. (Snowman Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  53. What do you call a snowman with a six pack?… An abdominal snowman. (Snowman Jokes)
  54. What do you call a greedy elf?… Elfish.
  55. What happens to elves when they behave naughty?… Santa gives them the sack. (Elf Jokes)
  56. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?… He had no-body to go with. (Skeleton Jokes)
  57. What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast?… Ice Crispies. (Snowman Jokes & Cereal Jokes)
  58. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?… A Mince Spy! (Pie Jokes)
  59. What says ‘Oh Oh Oh’?… Santa walking backwards! (Walking Jokes)
  60. What do zombies eat with their Christmas dinner?… Grave-y. (Cemetery Jokes)
  61. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?… Claustrophobia! (Psychology Jokes)
  62. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas Advent Calendar?… He got 25 days! (Police Jokes)
  63. What is a skunks favorite Christmas song?… Jingle smells! (Music Jokes)
  64. What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?… Snow. (Snow Jokes)
  65. What never eats at Christmas dinner?… The turkey – it’s stuffed. (Turkey Jokes)
  66. What’s red and white and falls down chimneys?… Santa Klutz!
  67. Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?… At a Ho-ho-ho-tel. (Travel Blogs)
  68. What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?… A puddle! (May Jokes & Snowman Jokes)
  69. Did you know that Rudolph the Reindeer never went to school?… He was elf taught. (Reindeer Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  70. Where do you find chili beans?… At the north pole! (World Geography Jokes)
  71. What is a librarian’s favorite Christmas song?… Silent Night. (Music Jokes & Library Jokes )
  72. What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?… An elfcicle! (Elf Jokes)
  73. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?… Holly Davidson.
  74. What do you call an old snowman?… Water. (Snowman Jokes)
  75. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?… The elf-abet. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers & Elf Jokes)
  76. What does Santa say at the start of a race?… Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho! (Track & Field Jokes)
  77. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Dexter… Dexter, who?… Dexter halls with boughs of holly. (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
  78. What type of cars do elves drive?… Toy-otas. (Car Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  79. Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?… Because he is so cool! (Snowman Jokes)
  80. What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  81. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Snow…Snow who?… Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Snow Jokes)
  82. Knock knock…Who’s there?… Hannah…. Hannah who?… Hannah partridge in a pear tree! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Music Jokes)
  83. How does a snowman get to work?… By icicle (Snowman Jokes& Bike Jokes)
  84. What do snowmen call their offspring?… Chill-dren. (Snowman Jokes)
  85. What’s St. Nicholas’s favorite measurement in the metric system?… The Santameter! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  86. Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?… Holly-wood! (California Jokes)
  87. What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?… “‘Tis the season to be jelly!” (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  88. What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?… “Season’s bleatings!” (Sheep Jokes)
  89. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?… Crisp Pringles!
  90. What do you call an outlaw who steals gift wrapping from the rich to give to the poor?… Ribbon Hood.
  91. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?… There’s Noel! (Teacher Jokes)
  92. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite track & field event?… North Pole-vaulting! (Track & Field Jokes)
  93. Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?… Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!” (Lamb Jokes)
  94. What are the best books to read during the holidays?… The Lord of the Five Golden Rings, No Country for Old Menorahs, For Whom the Jingle Bells Toll, 
  95. Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them! (Reindeer Jokes)
  96. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen. (Christmas Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  97. What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?… Crisp Pringles.
  98. How is the alphabet different on Christmas than any other day?… On Christmas, it has Noel.
  99. “Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?”… “Because he went down in History.” (Teacher Jokes)
  100. What Do You Sing At An Elf’s Birthday Party?… Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow! (Elf Jokes)
  101. What cars do elves drive?… A toy Yoda. (Star Wars Jokes)
  102. How did Scrooge win the football game?… The ghost of Christmas passed. (Football Jokes)
  103. What do you call Santa’s helpers?… Subordinate Clauses.
  104. What is Santa’s primary language?… North Polish. (World Geography Jokes)
  105. Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?… So they could have a married Christmas.
  106. How do you lift a frozen car?… With a Jack Frost. (Car Jokes)
  107. Which holiday mascot has the least spare change?… St. Nickel-less
  108. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?… He was hooked on trees his whole life. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  109. How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas?… The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.
  110. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?… RUDEolph. (Reindeer Jokes)
  111. What do you call an elf who sings?… A wrapper! (Elf Jokes & Music Jokes)
  112. hat do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?… A rebel without a Claus.
  113. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?… Saint Nickel-less.
  114. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?… It needed to be trimmed. (Barber Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  115. What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?… Yule-Tide.
  116. How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?… He uses Comet.
  117. What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?… Blitzen-krieg Bop. (Music Jokes)
  118. Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?… Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone. (Music Jokes)
  119. What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?… Santapplause!
  120. What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?… Present. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  121. What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?… A dependent Claus.
  122. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?… Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe. (Reindeer Jokes)
  123. What kind of bike does Santa Claus ride?… A Holly Davidson.
  124. What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?… Santa Clues! (Police Jokes)
  125. When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?… Sandy Claus. (Summer Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  126. What does Santa say at the start of a race?… “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!” (Track Jokes)
  127. Why does Santa go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
  128. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?… Because they’re Santa’s star bucks! (Reindeer Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
  129. A book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
  130. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?… Crisp Kringle.
  131. What did the pepper say on its holiday card?… “Season’s greetings.”
  132. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots? (Snowman Jokes)
  133. What did the reindeer say to the football player?… “Your Blitzen days are over!” (Reindeer Jokes & Football Jokes)
  134. How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?… “Fleece Navidad!” (Music Jokes & Sheep Jokes)
  135. What do you call a cat on a summer camp field trip to the beach?…. Sandy claws. (Christmas Jokes for Kids & Cat Jokes)
  136. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his Christmas party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  137. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! (Reindeer Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  138. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy. (Cookie Jokes)
  139. What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel) (26 Lessons: Letter of the Week)
  140. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?… A cookie sheet! (Cookie Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  141. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Cereal Jokes & Snowman Jokes)
  142. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash! (Snowman Jokes)
  143. Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store. (Reindeer Jokes)
  144. Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?…Comet! (Reindeer Jokes)
  145. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  146. What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?…Welfy. (Elf Jokes)
  147. Elves use what kind of money?… Jingle bills! (Elf Jokes)
  148. How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?” (Elf Jokes)
  149. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Snowman Jokes)
  150. Where the snowman does dances on?…A snow ball! (Snowman Jokes)
  151. How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you. (Snowman Jokes)
  152. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?…He looks at his calen-”deer”! (Reindeer Jokes)
  153. Which elf was the best singer?… ELFis Presley. (Elf Jokes)
  154. Why the turkey was asked to join the band by elves?… because he had the drum sticks! (Elf Jokes)
  155. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?… Crisp Cringle!
  156. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite. (101 Halloween Jokes)
  157. How is a flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
  158. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes! (Snowman Jokes)
  159. When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called?… Santa Pause.
  160. What is for lunch on Christmas Day for snowmen?… Icebergers!
  161. If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?…Santa Clues! (Police Jokes)
  162. What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
  163. Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank. (Winter Jokes)
  164. What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you! (Ghost Jokes)
  165. What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
  166. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”! (December Jokes)
  167. What do you call a high school / elementary student who is afraid of Santa Claus?…Claustrophobic. (Top Psychology Jokes & Psychology Lessons for High School Teachers)
  168. What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?… Ice caps. (Snowman Jokes)
  169. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos. (Snowman Jokes)
  170. Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.
  171. How do sheep in Mexico greet Merry Christmas?…Fleece Navidad!
  172. How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?… A merry Christmas to ewe.
  173. What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
  174. What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmastime?… Sandy Claws!
  175. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?… Ribbon Hood.
  176. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you! (Reindeer Jokes)
  177. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?… It’s Christmas, Eve!
  178. Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents?… Santa Paws!
  179. How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it! (Reindeer Jokes)
  180. Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
  181. Knock Knock…Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snow business like show business!
  182. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Avery…Avery who?…Avery merry Christmas!
  183. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas!
  184. Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?… Because the angel had said, “No L!”
  185. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?… You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
  186. Why is a reindeer like a gossip?… Because they are both tail bearers! (Reindeer Jokes)
  187. Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?… Because they would look silly in plastic macs! (Reindeer Jokes)
  188. Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them! (Reindeer Jokes)
  189. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder! (Snowman Jokes)
  190. What’s an ig?… An eskimo’s home without a loo!
  191. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball! (Snowman Jokes)
  192. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?… You wake up wet! (Snowman Jokes)
  193. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite! (Snowman Jokes)
  194. How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
  195. What’s white and goes up?… A confused snowflake!
  196. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?… A Christmas Quacker!
  197. What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas!
  198. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  199. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
  200. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?… Santa Claus.
  201. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s burps! (Cookie Jokes)
  202. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night. (Music Jokes)
  203. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?… Comet. (Reindeer Jokes)
  204. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?… An ice burger with chili sauce. (Snowman Jokes)
  205. Why did the candy cane cross the road?… Because it wanted to get a licking!
  206. What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
  207. What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?… Turkey and Greece.
  208. Who gives presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws. (Shark Jokes)
  209. What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?… A sad candy cane!
  210. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
  211. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?… Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
  212. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?… Krisp Cringle.
  213. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG!
  214. What is the cleanest reindeer called?… Comet. (Reindeer Jokes)
  215. How do you know when Santa’s in the room?… You can sense his presents.
  216. What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam
  217. Knock knockWho’s there?… Irish... Irish who?… Irish you a Merry Christmas!
  218. Knock knock... Who’s there?… Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who?… Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
  219. Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?… Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
  220. Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?… Because he wanted to see time fly!
  221. What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?… Santa’s shadow!
  222. What did Santa say Mrs. Claus to when he looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.” (Reindeer Jokes)