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Complete list of sports jokes & major sporting events!

  1. What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales.
  2. Who was the poet of basketball?… Longfellow.
  3. Why did the basketball player visit the bank?… His checks were all bouncing.
  4. Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball!
  5. Why do basketball players love cookies?… Because they can dunk them!
  6. They’re a team in transition… They’re going from bad to worse.
  7. Why did the basketball sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?… He was trying to draw fowls / fouls.
  8. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?… They hog the ball.
  9. What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?… One drools, the other dribbles.
  10. If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  11. Why is a baby good at basketball?… Because they’re always dribbling.
  12. Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?… Her coach was a pumpkin.
  13. Why is a scrambled egg like a losing basketball team?… Because they both have been beaten.
  14. What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?… Time passes.
  15. What did the march say to all the madness?… What’s all that bracket.
  16. Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  17. Why can’t you get a fairly officiated game in the jungle?… They are all cheetahs.
  18. In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?… Basketball.
  19. Why are basketball players messy eaters?… They’re always dribbling.
  20. What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?… Root beer!
  21. Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?… Because they dribble all over the court.
  22. What do you call a pig with playing basketball?… A ball hog.
  23. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?… She ran away from the ball.
  24. If a basketball gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut
  25. What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?… A tall tale.
  26. “He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach. “But’s how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.”
  27. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.  Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”  A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”
  28. Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?… Because he broke a record!
  29. How do basketball players stay cool during a game?… They stand near the fans.
  30. How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?… Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
  31. Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.  One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”