Christmas Tree Jokes

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What city did the Christmas tree want to move to?… Garland

Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Christmas Tree jokes.
Basketball Jokes for Christmas: What is a basketball player’s favorite Christmas song?… “Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three!”
Music Jokes: What is the #1 requested Christmas Tree song by the Vince Guaraldi Trio?… “O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree)”
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?… It needed to be trimmed.
Grinch Jokes: How does the Grinch measure Christmas Trees?… In grinches.
Reindeer Jokes: What do reindeer use to decorate their Christmas trees?… Horn-aments.
Did you hear the joke about the Christmas Tree?… It is really sappy!
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the date of National Christmas Tree Day?
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles.
How did the Christmas tree get in trouble?… It was knotty.
My Dad was a Christmas tree salesman…. Before he started work he always got himself spruced up.
What’s another name for an artificial Christmas Tree?… Faux fir.
How do Christmas trees get their email?… They log-on.
Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees?… In elementree school.
Why are Christmas trees more noticeable on Christmas?… They have more presence.
What month do Christmas trees hate most?… Sep-timber!
How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?… They signed a peace tree-ty.
Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite rock band?… Spruce Springsteen & the Tree Street Band.
What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other?… Let’s hang out!
Why does a fully decorated Christmas Tree weigh less than a non decorated one?… Because it’s lighter.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Candy.… Candy who?… Candy canes hanging on the Christmas tree.
Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?… They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
How can you identify a Christmas tree?… By its bark!
Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for Christmas trees?… Montreeal.
How can Christmas trees grow so big?… When they get enough rein, deer.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?… It needed a root canal.
Why don’t Christmas trees every pollute?… They are ever green.
What was the fitness trainer best at during the Christmas season?… Trimming the tree!
How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?… He was hooked on trees his whole life.
Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?… Too much pine tar on his bat!
Why do Christmas Trees have trouble sewing?… They can’t stop dropping their needles!
What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?… May the forest be with you.
What do a Christmas Tree an out-going president have in common?… Both will be out in January.
Where would you find a Christmas tree?… Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four!
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?… Ornamints.
What kind of coats do Christmas trees wear?… Fir.
What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?… Tinsel-itis!
A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment.
What city did the Christmas tree want to move to?… Garland.
What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?… Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow.
Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test?… It got stumped by the problems.
Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson!
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Dishes… Dishes who?… Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas tree.
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?… Because the present’s beneath them.
What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get all sappy.
What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?… “I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!
What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?… A treeangle.
What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?… Christmas be my lucky day!
Why did the Christmas tree book an appointment at the hair salon?… For a trim.
What do scientists decorate at Christmas?… A chemis-tree!
Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Pudding… Pudding who?… Pudding up the Christmas tree!
What did Santa say to the elves about their tree-decorating skills?… You need to spruce it up!
Why did the Christmas tree visit the hospital?… Because it was feeling green.
Who’s a Christmas tree’s favorite action-hero actor?… Spruce Willis.
Why did the Christmas tree apply for a new job?… It wanted to branch out.
What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed?… It started his own branch.
Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?… So it could spruce up the forest.
How can you get down from a Christmas tree?… You can’t… down comes from ducks.
Why can’t Christmas trees sew?… They always drop their needles.
Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad?… It was a weeping willow.
What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school?… Treegonometree.
What gets one year older when it rings?… A Christmas tree.
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Quit hanging around.”
What do you call a Christmas tree in a bad mood? A sour-fir. What did the Christmas tree say when it started sound-sleeping?… “I’m pine-ing for rest.”
Why are Christmas trees bad at telling jokes?… Their punchlines fall flat.
Why did the ornament fall off the tree?… It couldn’t hang.
Why did the Christmas tree go to therapy?… It had too many needles on its conscience.
Why was the Christmas tree bad at driving?… It kept barking up the wrong side of the road.
Why did the Christmas tree get promoted?… It had great roots in the company.
How did the Christmas tree do in the talent show?…. It sleighed the audience.
What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite workout?… Plank pose.
How many Christmas trees can you plant in the ground?… All of them.
What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?… Pines and needles!
Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on its algebra test?… It got stumped by all the questions!
What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?… Christmas chopping!
What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?… A pineApple!
What did one Christmas tree say to another?… Lighten up!
Why do Christmas trees make such great receivers in football?… They have sticky fingers.
Which type of Christmas tree is green, has a trunk and leaves?… A Christmas tree going on vacation.
What do ornaments do on Christmas trees…. Not much, they just hang out.
Which month of the year don’t Christmas trees like?… Sep-timber.
How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?… He saw it with his own two eyes.
Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show?… He really knew how to present.
How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies?… They both have stars.
What did the Jedi say to the Christmas tree?… May the forest be with you.
What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?… Been nice gnawing you.
What is the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree?… Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.
How can you tell if you have a girl Christmas tree?… Look for the tree skirt.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Angel… Angel who?… Angel on top of my Christmas tree.
Knock knock… Who’s there?… Atch… Atch who?… Bless you – are you allergic to Christmas trees?
How was the Christmas tree like a clumsy seamstress?… They both drop needles.
What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole…. BeClaus, why not?
What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?… It’s shadow.
How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?… One, because then the farm isn’t empty anymore.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?… It was feeling green.
What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool?… Swim trunks.
How do Christmas trees make their feeling heard?… They O-pine.
Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?… Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs.
How many pine cones grow on a Christmas tree?… All of them.
What looks like half a Christmas tree?… The other half.
What do you call it when Christmas tree’s boycott something?… A Christmas tree stand.
Which side of a Christmas tree has the most needles?… The outside.
Why did the boy put ice cream under the Christmas tree?… To go with the pine cones.
Music Jokes: What is the #1 requested Christmas Tree song?… “O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree)”
Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite rock singer?… Spruce Springsteen.
What was Santa’s favorite subject at school?… Chemist-tree.
Reindeer Jokes: How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer?… You put on HORNaments!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?… Frostbite.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe believe we have this many Christmas Tree Jokes?

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