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  • Star Trek Jokes

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    Google Search “Star Trek Jokes”

    1. How many ears does Picard have?…  Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear. 
    2. What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log. 
    3. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?…  A croaking device.  
    4. Why don’t the Borg go to prison?…  Because they obey the Lore!  
    5. Why did the Borg cross the road?… Because it assimilated the chicken!  
    6. Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?  Join the Klingon army. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them!  
    7. Where do the Borg eat fast food?… At their local Borger King!  
    8. Why was Star Trek so successful?… It had good Genes. 
    9. What is Captain Picard’s biggest pet peeve? … When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals. 
    10. What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?… Worf Speed. 
    11. Captain Kirk has three ears: a right ear, a left ear, and a final front-ear.
    12. When Dr. Crusher broke her sewing machine, Captain Picard said, “Mr. Data, make it sew.”
    13. A Klingon’s favorite fast food is Borger King.
    14. Worf changed his hair color because it was a good day to dye.
    15. Spock crossed the road because it was the logical thing to do.
    16. To hold on to a Klingon Bird of Prey, you Klingon.
    17. Glasses are called Spocktacles on Vulcan.
    18. The captain of the Enterprise had a one-trek mind.
    19. Choosing between the original series and The Next Generation is like being stuck between a Spock and a Picard place.
    20. Commander Riker’s favorite hobby is needlework because Captain Picard always says, “Make it so!”.
    21. Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?…  They have engaged the Borg. 
    22. How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?… ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace. 
    23. How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?…  Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000 
    24. How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?…  All of them! 
    25. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?  TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. 
    26. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?  NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark. 
    27. What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?…  Execute it for failure. 
    28. What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby?…  Sewing, because the captain says “Make it so”. 
    29. What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?… Execute him for cowardice. 
    30. Have you read the book “The Positronic Brain”?…  It’s by: Anne Droid 
    31. Have you read the book “Chekov: The Navigator”?… It’s by: I. Kiptin 
    32. What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one?…  Hoisted by our own Picard. 
    33. Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise?…  Piccard told Riker to “Make it sew, Number One.” 
    34. How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?… Wave to him. 
    35. What did the first officer answer when Picard asked “Why did you let Troi win at poker?”  “Because I Riker.” 
    36. What is Thomas Riker’s dating philosophy?…  “If at first you don’t succeed, try Troi again.” 
    37. Why can’t Klingon kids play in sandboxes?…  Cats keep trying to cover them up. 
    38. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?…  “Captain, we are being hailed.” 
    39. Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert?…  He never forgets a phaser. 
    40. What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan?… Spocktacles 
    41. Why did the Klingon cross the road?… To conuer the other side. 

  • Full Moons: Full Moon Names & Meanings

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    The Farmer’s Almanac is the #1 resources for Full Moons. The following information was taken directly from: http://www.farmersalmanac.com/full-moon-names/

    Full Moon names date back to Native Americans, of what is now the northern and eastern United States. The tribes kept track of the seasons by giving distinctive names to each recurring full Moon. Their names were applied to the entire month in which each occurred. There was some variation in the Moon names, but in general, the same ones were current throughout the Algonquin tribes from New England to Lake Superior. European settlers followed that custom and created some of their own names. Since the lunar month is only 29 days long on the average, the full Moon dates shift from year to year. Here is the Farmers Almanac’s list of the full Moon names.

    January: Full Wolf Moon Amid the cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. Thus, the name for January’s full Moon. Sometimes it was also referred to as the Old Moon, or the Moon After Yule. Some called it the Full Snow Moon, but most tribes applied that name to the next Moon.

    February: Full Snow Moon Since the heaviest snow usually falls during this month, native tribes of the north and east most often called February’s full Moon the Full Snow Moon. Some tribes also referred to this Moon as the Full Hunger Moon, since harsh weather conditions in their areas made hunting very difficult.

    March: Full Worm Moon As the temperature begins to warm and the ground begins to thaw, earthworm casts appear, heralding the return of the robins. The more northern tribes knew this Moon as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signaled the end of winter; or the Full Crust Moon, because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation. To the settlers, it was also known as the Lenten Moon, and was considered to be the last full Moon of winter.

    April: Full Pink Moon This name came from the herb moss pink, or wild ground phlox, which is one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other names for this month’s celestial body include the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and among coastal tribes the Full Fish Moon, because this was the time that the shad swam upstream to spawn.

    May: Full Flower Moon In most areas, flowers are abundant everywhere during this time. Thus, the name of this Moon. Other names include the Full Corn Planting Moon, or the Milk Moon.

    June: Full Strawberry Moon This name was universal to every Algonquin tribe. However, in Europe they called it the Rose Moon. Also because the relatively short season for harvesting strawberries comes each year during the month of June . . . so the full Moon that occurs during that month was christened for the strawberry!

    July: The Full Buck Moon July is normally the month when the new antlers of buck deer push out of their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, for the reason that thunderstorms are most frequent during this time. Another name for this month’s Moon was the Full Hay Moon.

    August: Full Sturgeon Moon The fishing tribes are given credit for the naming of this Moon, since sturgeon, a large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water, were most readily caught during this month. A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because, as the Moon rises, it appears reddish through any sultry haze. It was also called the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon.

    September: Full Corn Moon or Full Harvest Moon This full moon’s name is attributed to Native Americans because it marked when corn was supposed to be harvested. Most often, the September full moon is actually the Harvest Moon, which is the full Moon that occurs closest to the autumn equinox. In two years out of three, the Harvest Moon comes in September, but in some years it occurs in October. At the peak of harvest, farmers can work late into the night by the light of this Moon. Usually the full Moon rises an average of 50 minutes later each night, but for the few nights around the Harvest Moon, the Moon seems to rise at nearly the same time each night: just 25 to 30 minutes later across the U.S., and only 10 to 20 minutes later for much of Canada and Europe. Corn, pumpkins, squash, beans, and wild rice the chief Indian staples are now ready for gathering.

    October: Full Hunter’s Moon or Full Harvest Moon This full Moon is often referred to as the Full Hunter’s Moon, Blood Moon, or Sanguine Moon. Many moons ago, Native Americans named this bright moon for obvious reasons. The leaves are falling from trees, the deer are fattened, and it’s time to begin storing up meat for the long winter ahead. Because the fields were traditionally reaped in late September or early October, hunters could easily see fox and other animals that come out to glean from the fallen grains. Probably because of the threat of winter looming close, the Hunter’s Moon is generally accorded with special honor, historically serving as an important feast day in both Western Europe and among many Native American tribes.

    November: Full Beaver Moon This was the time to set beaver traps before the swamps froze, to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Full Beaver Moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now actively preparing for winter. It is sometimes also referred to as the Frosty Moon.

    December: The Full Cold Moon; or the Full Long Nights Moon During this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and nights are at their longest and darkest. It is also sometimes called the Moon before Yule. The term Long Night Moon is a doubly appropriate name because the midwinter night is indeed long, and because the Moon is above the horizon for a long time. The midwinter full Moon has a high trajectory across the sky because it is opposite a low Sun.

  • Teaching 9/11: Top Websites for Teaching 9/11

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    1. 911 Memorial (@Sept11Memorial): This website includes, Foundational Lesson Plans, K – 2, 3 – 5, 6 – 8, 9 – 12, About 9/11 Lesson Plans, Teaching Guides, Talking to Children about 9/11, View Webcasts, 9/11 Primary Sources.
    2. Flight 93 National Park (@Flight93NPS): September 11, 2015 observance.
    3. 911 Day:
    4. U.S. Department of Education / (@usedgov):
    5. National Geographic / (@NatGeo): Remembering 9/11.
    6. Larry Ferlazzo / (@Larryferlazzo): The best sites to teach about 9/11.
    7. Cybraryman /  (@cybraryman1): An amazing resource for so many lessons.
    8. Edsitement / (@EDSITEment): A Virtual Visit to the National September 11 Memorial and Museum.
    9. Scholastic / (@ScholasticTeach): There are resources for teachers, families, and administrators.
    10. TeachHub / (@TeachHub): Lesson ideas include: Video Writing Prompts: Remembering September 11,Science Lesson: Osama bin Laden DNA Activity, Language Arts Lesson:  Seal Team 6 Bulletproof Dog Reading Activity, Article: Educator’s Guide to Teaching Controversial Topics

     

  • Great Massachusetts Field Trips

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    Google Search “Massachusetts Field Trips”

    Field trips can be extremely exciting and educational. Students are exposed to new ways of thoughts and might be inspired to do some self-directed learning.

    Here are some ideas for Massachusetts for school learning! (Great link for other states!)

    1. Appalachian National Scenic Trail CT,GA,MA,MD,ME,NC,NH,NJ,NY,PA,TN,VA,VT,WV: http://www.nps.gov/appa/index.htmThe Appalachian Trail is a 2,180+ mile long public footpath that traverses the scenic, wooded, pastoral, wild, and culturally resonant lands of the Appalachian Mountains. Conceived in 1921, built by private citizens, and completed in 1937, today the trail is managed by the National Park Service, US Forest Service, Appalachian Trail Conservancy, numerous state agencies and thousands of volunteers.
    2. Blackstone River Valley National Heritage CorridorRI, MA: http://www.nps.gov/blac/index.htm The Blackstone River runs from Worcester, MA to Providence, RI. Its waters powered the Slater Mill in Pawtucket, RI, America’s first successful cotton spinning mill. This creative spark began the nation’s transformation from Farm to Factory. Today, the Blackstone River Valley is a special type of National Park – a living landscape containing thousands of natural and historic treasures.
    3. Massachusetts Farms
    4. Massachusetts Zoos
    5. New England https://www.nps.gov/neen/index.htm: From the Sound to the Summits: the New England Trail covers 215 miles from Long Island Sound across long ridges to scenic mountain summits in Connecticut and Massachusetts. The trail offers panoramic vistas and close-ups of New England’s natural and cultural landscape: traprock ridges, historic village centers, farmlands, unfragmented forests, quiet streams, steep river valleys and waterfalls.
    6. Washington-Rochambeau National Historic Trail: http://www.nps.gov/waro/index.htmIn 1781, General Rochambeau’s French Army joined forces with General Washington’s Continental Army to fight the British Army in Yorktown, Virginia. With the French Navy in support, the allied armies moved hundreds of miles to become the largest troop movement of the American Revolution. The effort and cooperation between the two sides led to a victory at Yorktown and secured American independence.
    1. Boston : The Children’s Museum (@BosChildMuseum)
    2. Boston: Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the U.S. Senate (@emkinstitute)
    3. Boston: Franklin Park Zoo (@zoonewengland)
    4. Boston: The New England Aquarium (@NEAQ / World Oceans Day Jokes)
    5. Boston National Historical Park (@bostonNHP) Boston, MA : http://www.nps.gov/bost/index.htm The Blackstone River powered America’s entry into the Age of Industry. The success of Samuel Slater’s cotton spinning mill in Pawtucket, RI touched off a chain reaction that changed how people worked and where they lived, and continues to reverberate across the nation to this day. Come visit and see how this revolution transformed the landscape of the Blackstone Valley and then the United States.
    6. Boston: Boston, MAhttps://www.nps.gov/bost/index.htm Discover how one city could be the Cradle of Liberty, site of the first major battle of American Revolution, and home to many who espoused that freedom can be extended to all.
    7. Boston African American National Historical Site(@BOAFNPS) Boston, MA:http://www.nps.gov/boaf/index.htm Centered on the north slope of Beacon Hill, the African American community of 19th century Boston led the city and the nation in the fight against slavery and injustice. These remarkable men and women, together with their allies, were leaders in Abolition Movement, the Underground Railroad, the Civil War, and the early struggle for equal rights and education.
    8. Boston Harbor Islands (@34islandsboston) Boston, MA:http://www.nps.gov/boha/index.htm . . . where you can walk a Civil War-era fort, visit historic lighthouses, explore tide pools, hike lush trails, camp under the stars, or relax while fishing, picnicking or swimming-all within reach of downtown Boston. Youth programs, visitor services, research, wildlife management, and more are coordinated on the park’s 34 islands and peninsulas by the Boston Harbor Islands Partnership.
    9. Brookline, MA: Frederick Law Olmsted http://www.nps.gov/frla/index.htm Frederick Law Olmsted (1822-1903) is recognized as the founder of American landscape architecture and the nation’s foremost parkmaker. Olmsted moved his home to suburban Boston in 1883 and established the world’s first full-scale professional office for the practice of landscape design. During the next century, his sons and successors perpetuated Olmsted’s design ideals, philosophy, and influence.
    10. Brookline, MA: John Fitzgerald Kennedy: http://www.nps.gov/jofi/index.htm n 1966, Rose Kennedy, the President’s mother returned to her family’s first home and birthplace of John F. Kennedy with the intention of sharing the values and expectations she believed defined her children’s early years. Today, visitors travel back in time through Mrs. Kennedy’s memories to understand the Kennedy family’s early years and how she helped Americans memorialize John Kennedy.
    11. Cambridge: Longfellow House Washington’s Headquarters MA: http://www.nps.gov/long/index.htm Longfellow House – Washington’s Headquarters National Historic Site preserves the home of Henry W. Longfellow, one of the world’s foremost 19th century poets. The house also served as headquarters for General George Washington during the Siege of Boston, July 1775 – April 1776. In addition to its rich history, the site offers unique opportunities to explore 19th century literature and arts.
    12. Cambridge: The Museum of Science
    13. Cape Cod National Seashore (@CapeCodNPS) Wellfleet, MA: http://www.nps.gov/caco/index.htm The great Outer Beach described by Thoreau in the 1800s is protected within the national seashore. Forty miles of pristine sandy beach, marshes, ponds, and uplands support diverse species. Lighthouses, cultural landscapes, and wild cranberry bogs offer a glimpse of Cape Cod’s past and continuing ways of life. Swimming beaches and walking and biking trails beckon today’s visitors.
    14. Concord: Minute Man: http://www.nps.gov/mima/index.htm At Minute Man National Historical Park the opening battle of the Revolution is brought to life as visitors explore the battlefields and structures associated with April 19, 1775, and witness the American revolutionary spirit through the writings of the Concord authors.
    15. Easton: The Children’s Museum in Easton
    16. Essex Essex County, MA: http://www.nps.gov/esse/index.htm The Essex National Heritage Area begins just 10 miles north of Boston and covers 500 square miles of eastern Massachusetts to the New Hampshire border. The Area includes hundreds of historical sites, miles of intact landscapes, glistening coastal regions and lifetimes of rich experiences that chronicle the history of our region and of our nation.
    17. Lincoln: Minute Man: http://www.nps.gov/mima/index.htm At Minute Man National Historical Park the opening battle of the Revolution is brought to life as visitors explore the battlefields and structures associated with April 19, 1775, and witness the American revolutionary spirit through the writings of the Concord authors.
    18. Lexington: Minute Man: http://www.nps.gov/mima/index.htm At Minute Man National Historical Park the opening battle of the Revolution is brought to life as visitors explore the battlefields and structures associated with April 19, 1775, and witness the American revolutionary spirit through the writings of the Concord authors.
    19. Lowell Lowell: (@Lowell_NPS): http://www.nps.gov/lowe/index.htmDiscover the continuing revolution. Lowell’s water-powered textile mills catapulted the nation – including immigrant families and early female factory workers – into an uncertain new industrial era. Nearly 200 years later, the changes that began here still reverberate in our shifting global economy. Explore Lowell, a living monument to the dynamic human story of the Industrial Revolution.
    20. New Bedford Whaling (@nebe_interp) New Bedford: http://www.nps.gov/nebe/index.htm “The town itself is perhaps the dearest place to live in, in all New England..nowhere in all America will you find more patrician-like houses, parks and gardens more opulent, than in New Bedford…all these brave houses and flowery gardens came from the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian oceans. One and all, they were harpooned and dragged up hither from the bottom of the sea.” H. Melville, “Moby-Dick” Web Rangers Activity: New Bedford Whaling Ship
    21. Plymouth: The Mayflower II
    22. Plymouth: Plimouth Plantation
    23. Plymouth: Whale Watch (Pirate Cruise)
    24. Quincy: Adams National Historical Park Quincy, MA: http://www.nps.gov/adam/index.htm From the sweet little farm at the foot of Penn’s Hill to the gentleman’s country estate at Peace field, Adams National Historical Park is the story of “heroes, statesman, philosophers … and learned women” whose ideas and actions helped to transform thirteen disparate colonies into one united nation.
    25. Salem: Salem Witch Museum
    26. Salem: Salem Maritime(@SalemMartimeNPS) http://www.nps.gov/sama/index.htm When the United States was young, ships from Salem, Massachusetts helped to build the new nation’s economy by carrying cargo back and forth from the West to Asia. The historic buildings, wharves, and reconstructed tall ship at this nine-acre National Park tell the stories of the sailors, Revolutionary War privateers, and merchants who brought the riches of the world to America.
    27. Sandwich: Heritage Plantation
    28. Sturbridge: Old Sturbridge Village
    29. Saugus: Saugus Iron Works: http://www.nps.gov/sair/index.htm In the 1600′s, on the banks of the Saugus River, something extraordinary happened. Explore the place where European iron makers brought their special skills to a young Massachusetts colony. This nine-acre National Park includes working waterwheels, hot forges, mills, an historic 17th century home and a lush river basin.
    30. Springfield: Springfield Armory: http://www.nps.gov/spar/index.htm For nearly two centuries, the US Armed Forces and American industry looked to Springfield Armory for innovative engineering and superior firearms. Springfield Armory National Historic Site commemorates the critical role of the nation’s first armory by preserving and interpreting the world’s largest historic US military small arms collection, along with historic archives, buildings, and landscapes.
    31. Stoneham: Stone Zoo (@zoonewengland)
    32. Woods Hole, Falmouth:Woods Hole Aquarium

  • College Football Jokes

    College Football Jokes:

    Google Search “College Football Jokes”

    1. Navy Jokes: What separates the Navy fans from the Army football fans?… The wave.
    2. UGA would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    3. Why didn’t the dog want to play football?… It was a boxer.
    4. Jonathan the Husky would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    5. College Football Jokes: Handsome Dan would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    6. College Football Jokes: Jack the Bulldog would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    7. College Football Jokes: Bully would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    8. College Football Jokes: Smokey X would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    9. College Football Jokes: Reveille would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    10. Navy Jokes: The Vanderbilt Commodores… The unofficial football team of the Navy.
    11. Navy Jokes: Who is the favorite mascot of the Navy?… Mr. Commodore of Vanderbilt.
    12. Why did the college football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.
    13. What’s a dog’s favorite position to play in football?… Golden receiver.
    14. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
    15. What football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
    16. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
    17. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.”
    18. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward.
    19. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders.
    20. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
    21. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Top Father’s Day Jokes)
    22. Did you here about the football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
    23. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.
    24. Did you hear that some college football teams don’t have a website?…They can’t string three “Ws” together.
    25. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
    26. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
    27. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”
    28. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends.
    29. Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
    30. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders.
    31. Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture.
    32. Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?… Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
    33. Why are college football stadiums always cool?… “Because they’re full of fans.”
    34. Why was the skeleton always left out of the football game ?… Because he had no body to go with. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    35. What did the mummy football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
    36. When is a football player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
    37. What would you get if you crossed a football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    38. Why was Cinderella such a bad at football?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    39. Where do athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
    40. Did you hear about the college football who wore two jackets when he painted the house?… The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
    41. What do biology majors wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (Top Biology Jokes)

     

  • Grandparents’ Day Lesson: Memories and a Letter

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

    • A Teacher’s Year
    • US History Lessons
    • Psychology Lessons
    • U.S. History Lessons: American Revolution Activities
    • American Revolution Jokes
    • My Favorite US History Lesson

      Grandparents are very special people. They often shower grandchildren with gifts, ice cream, baseball games, movies, special days, and lots of love. They are often loved unconditionally by a grandchild and can be one of the most important influences on many of our lives.Each of us has different experiences with grandparents. Some live with us, some live hundreds of miles away. Some have passed before we have memories of them. Some passed with a few memories. Some lucky students may have all grandparents alive and well. Hopefully, all of us have some great memories of grandparents.
      Complete the assignments in the following order.
      1. Grandparent Chart (3-5 minutes)– This will be completed during the 1st day of class. The purpose of the chart is for you to have a brief visual of your parents, grandparents, and great grandparents. (If you need help, seek another family member)
      2. Memories (20 minutes): Compile a list of memories of anything and everything you can think about your grandparents. You may want to create a page for each grandparent (i.e. Nana / Grandpa) or create a list for one set of grandparents. Think of vacations, babysitting, foods, cars, houses – classes have spent an entire period creating these lists, the more memories, the better.

      3. Grandparent letter (20 minutes): You will compose a letter to a living grandparent. You can combine a letter to a set of grandparents. The goal of the letter is to create a tangible concrete example of your love and appreciation. Done correctly and sincerely, this letter will bring a smile or possible move a person to tears. The very least it should be an object that will be treasured and valued for the rest of a grandparent’s life. (This can be handwritten.)
       

    A Teacher’s Year

    US History Lessons

    Psychology Lessons

    U.S. History Lessons: American Revolution Activities

    American Revolution Jokes

    Unique Situations / Lesson Modifications

    What if I do not have any memories of grandparents? This might be a great opportunity to share this activity with a relative (a parent, aunt, or uncle) who does have memories of the person. You could encourage them to write down memories or simply have them share some of their memories orally.
    What if I do not have any living grandparents, but I have memories?
    This is a great opportunity for you to write down all the great memories that you have. You also could share the activity with other family members to have them share their memories too. These memories you could share with the next generation of your family, perhaps your sons or daughters.
    What if I have no grandparents and no memories? This activity is all about making connections between generations. You can substitute other relatives if you cannot connect with grandparents, you can choose another relative.
    Good luck and Happy Grandparents Day!
     

  • Grandparents Day Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

    Google Search “Grandparents Day Jokes”

    1. What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?… Instagram.
    2. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone?
    3. What do you call a grandpa whale?… A hunch back whale!
    4. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
    5. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”
    6. A reporter was interviewing a 103 year-old great grandma “And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
    7. When do you know your grandfather is old enough to retire?… Instead of lying about her age she start bragging about it!
    8. Why do grandparents count pennies?… They are the only ones who have the time.
    9. Why do Grandparents smile all the time?… Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying!
    10. When is your grandparents bedtime?… Three hours after she falls asleep on the couch.
    11. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”
    12. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
    13. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
    14. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
    15. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!”
    16. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”
    17. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said… “How do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    18. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”
    19. Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?” The other says, “I feel just like a newborn baby. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants”
    20. A kids grandparents visit over the holidays go to church for Christmas Mass. Halfway through the service, the grandpa leans over and whispers in his wife’s ear, “I’ve just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” The Grandma replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
    21. A Grandfather who had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100%. The grandpa went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” To which the elderly man replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
    22. A grandfather from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. He told her rabbi he had two final requests. First, he wanted to be cremated, and second, he wanted her ashes scattered over Yankee Stadium. “Yankee Stadium!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Yankee Stadium?” “Then I’ll be sure my son visits me once a week.”
    23. A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”

    A Grandparents Ipod

    1. “I Can’t See Clearly Now” by Johnny Nash “
    2. “You’re So Varicose Vein” by Carly Simon
    3. “Talking’ Bout My Medication” by the Who “
    4. “Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom” by the Commodores
    5. “How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?” by the Bee Gees
    6. “These Boots Give Me Arthritis” by Nancy Sinatra
    7. “I Get By with a Little Help from Depends” by the Beatles
    8. “Bald Thing” by the Troggs
    9. “You Can’t Always Pee When You Want” by the Rolling Stones
    10. “I Heard It through the Grape Nuts” by Marvin Gaye

    Grandfather Jokes

    1. Why do Grandpas smile all the time?… Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying!
    2. When is your grandpas bedtime?… Three hours after she falls asleep on the couch.
    3. Why do grandpas count pennies?… They are the only ones who have the time.
    4. When do you know your grandfather is old enough to retire?… Instead of lying about her age she start bragging about it!
    5. Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?” The other says, “I feel just like a newborn baby. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants”
    6. A reporter was interviewing a 103 year-old great grandfather: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked. He simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
    7. A kids grandparents visit over the holidays go to church for Christmas Mass. Halfway through the service, the grandpa leans over and whispers in his wife’s ear, “I’ve just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” The Grandma replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
    8. A Grandfather who had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100%. The grandpa went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” To which the elderly man replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
    9. A grandfather from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. He told her rabbi he had two final requests. First, he wanted to be cremated, and second, he wanted her ashes scattered over Yankee Stadium. “Yankee Stadium!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Yankee Stadium?” “Then I’ll be sure my son visits me once a week.”
    10. A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”

    Funny Sayings

    1. A reporter was interviewing a 103 year-old great grandfather: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked. He simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
    2. “Never have children, only grandchildren.” Gore Vidal
    3. “Becoming a grandmother is wonderful.  One moment you’re just a mother.  The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.“ Pam Brown
    4. “You’re more trouble than the children are” is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.” Gene Perret
    5. “Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.” Gene Perret
    6. “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.” Erma Bombeck (Top Halloween Jokes)
    7. “No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet.” Author Unknown
    8. “Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.” Lois Wyse
    9. “If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.” Lois Wyse
    10. “Elephants and grandchildren never forget.” Andy Rooney
    11. “To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” Robert Brault
    12. “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.” Proverb
    13. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.  She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” Ellen DeGeneres
    14. “Two things I dislike about my granddaughter – when she won’t take her afternoon nap, and when she won’t let me take mine.” Gene Perret
    15. “An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.  Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.” Gene Perret
    16. “It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one.” Author Unknown
    17. “Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.” Gene Perret
    18. “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.” Ogden Nash
    19. “My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world.  And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.” Gene Perret
    20. “My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle.” Henry Youngman
    21. “Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy?  They suck it out of their grandparents.” Gene Perret
    22. “I don’t intentionally spoil my grandkids.  It’s just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.” Gene Perret
    23. “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” Sam Levenson
    24. “My grandchild has taught me what true love means.  It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.” Gene Perret
    25. “I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have – if only for self-defense.” Gene Perret
    26. “On the seventh day God rested.  His grandchildren must have been out of town.” Gene Perret
    27. “Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.” Gene Perret
    28. “Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old; it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother.” G. Norman Collie
    29. “A grandmother is a mother who has a second chance.” Author Unknown
    30. “I like to do nice things for my grandchildren – like buy them those toys I’ve always wanted to play with.” Gene Perret
    31. “My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew.  After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, “You mean you can do all that, but you can’t play my Game Boy?” Unknown
    32. “I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather – not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” Will Shriner
    33. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
    34. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
    35. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
    36. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
    37. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

  • Students, Get in Your Seats

    The start of the year is very hectic for teachers, however it is important to take care of BIG things as soon as possible. One of the most important decisions a teacher makes is the seating arrangement for students sit in your class. 

    There are many factors to consider with this such as grade level, special needs, paraprofessionals and co-teachers, content of the class, and activities that we use most often. 

    The old school teacher places the students in alphabetical order. The new school teacher allows students to sit wherever they want. Below is a hybrid approach that combines both old school and new school philosophies. Students will participate in the final arrangement. 

    We personally like to complete this activity on the 1st day of school. 

    As a high school teacher, there are course expectations, google classroom codes, summer work, and course guidelines that are handed out on the first day. For a student the 1st day would be very boring if all teachers presented material the same way. This activity is unique in many ways:

    1. Movement: Students get out of the seats to participate.
    2. Collaboration: Students will have to decide who will participate in the rocks, paper, scissors contest. 
    3. Decision Making: Students will make group decisions on heads or tails, to decide or defer, and ultimately where students will sit. .

    The Teacher Plan

    Select Students for Each Round: Looking at the class roster, a teacher will call two groups of three students to the front of the class. (The actual number can vary based on class size) One group will stand to the right and one stand to the left.

    Explain the Tasks: Direct the students to pick one representative to participate in the rocks, paper, scissors competition. 

    Audience Participation: Before the first contest starts, ask one student in the crowd to decide whether it should be a one and done competition or two out of three.

    Supervise the Competition: Students can often police themselves, but a teacher can help with any problems.  

    Toss the Coin: Once a winner has been determined, you will flip a coin in the air. The winning team will make the call in the air and the teacher will call out the result

    Decide or Defer: The winning team will have the option of

    1. Deciding the answer to the question OR
    2. Deferring to the other team to make the decision.  

    Students will be a little confused because they will not know they deciding deferring on. That is the goal, keep the students in the dark. A teacher does not need to provide any information. Simply ask the team if they would like to decide or defer. 

    The Question: Once the team has been chosen to make the decision. The teacher will ask one of five questions which will determine where the student sit. The questions

    First or Last: The answer to this question will determine whether the 1st student seated will be at the start of the alphabet of the end of the alphabet.  

    Front or Back: The answer to this question will determine whether the seating arrangement will start in the front of the classroom or the back of the classroom. 

    Right or Left: The answer this question will determine the direction where the 1st student will sit. 

    Me or You: This question will catch the students off guard, but it is not as shocking as the final questions. The answer determines from which perspective left or right will be assigned. 

    1. Me is the students perspective: In a traditional class, the student will be facing the white board. (Do you remember white boards?) 
    2. You: The “you” is the teacher’s position. In a traditional class this will be facing the back wall. 

    Snake or Typewriter: Excuse me?!?! Students will be completely surprised by this question. One year in 5 classes, snake was the unanimous choice. 

    The answer determines how the next student will be seated once a row is complete. 

    1. Typewriter: Today it may be necessary to introduce this writing tool to the students. Once the row is complete, the next student will be placed directly behind the 1st student who was seated.  Returns to where the first person sits. 
    2. Snake: If snake is the choice, the next studen will be seated directly behind the last student seated. The second row will then proceed to end and the process will be repeated. The students will slither around to the end of the class just like a snake. 
    3. Ping-pong (Additional Option): Another option could be the ping pong method. The teacher would need to determine exactly seats, how many sheets are gonna be used and the first seat would be placed, and then the last seat would be placed and then you go to the front and then the back and you keep ping-pong back until you get to the middle. I think this is a fantastic method.
    4. The Draft(Additional Option): The draft can be completed by simply writing out the number of students on small pieces of paper and place in a hat or a bin. Students will pick a number out of a hat. Once all the students have selected, start with the #1. The first person can pick any seat in the room. Continue picking until all seats have been selected. 

    Good Luck! Have a great school year!

  • 101 Full Moon Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

    Google Search “101 Full Moon Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best full moon jokes.
    2. Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, “Ah well. I guess you had to be there.” 
    3. July 21, 1969: What is Neil Armstrong’s favorite Police song?… Walking on the Moon. 
    4. What is the unofficial song of the full moon?… The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys! 
    5. What do you call a wolf that knows when the next full moon is?… Awarewolf! 
    6. What’s do wolves eat before going to see the #FullWolfMoon?…  Awooooo-gula
    7. My friend told me that they made a telescope so strong that it could see #water on the #moon!… I told him that was just Lunacy. He then told me they spotted a flea on the moon… I told him he was a Lunatic.
    8. Why is the moon always hungry?… It is almost never full!
    9. Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?… The food is excellent, but there’s no atmosphere.
    10. When somebody says that the moon landing was faked… Always reply “pfffft, you believe in the #moon.”
    11. NASA got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours… So they called it a day.
    12. What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?… The #moon.
    13. How much is the moon worth?… One dollar, because it has four quarters.
    14. What does the #moon eat when it is hungry?… A #satellite dish!
    15. What’s closer, #France or the Moon?… The Moon, obviously! You can’t see France from here!
    16. What type of #money is used on the #moon?… Star bucks. 
    17. How does the man in the #moon cut his hair?… Eclipse it.
    18. What King Harvest song is popular during a full moon?… #Dancing in the Moonlight.
    19. I hear that the Government hired Stanley Kubrick to help film The Fake Moon Landing But since #Kubrick was such a perfectionist he forced the Government to film on location.  
    20. What did the Moon say to #Saturn?… Give me a ring sometime!
    21. We love @BarberNews @ShaveWorld @StarHairstyle @clippercircle! Why doesn’t the moon #shave?… Because it waxes!
    22. How do people celebrate a Hunter’s Moon?… with shots.
    23. Why wasn’t the #moon hungry?… Because it was full!
    24. Who would be a great spokesperson for the #October Moon?… Hunter #Biden.
    25. What is the #NRA’s favorite full moon?… The #HunterMoon.
    26. What is Joe #Biden’s favorite #fullmoon?… The #HunterMoon.
    27. How did the #leprechaun go to the #moon?… In a sham-rocket.
    28. #Shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll land among the stars is a good quote… Unless you’re an astronaut.
    29. Who knew lunar #humor could be so stellar?
    30. Dad, does the moon provide light and heat to support all life on Earth through the process of Nuclear fusion?… No #sun.
    31. Hi, I’m Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the #moon. Neil before me.
    32. Did you know that on the way to the Moon the Apollo 11 crew heard rock music coming from outside?… Mission Control confirmed they were passing through the #VanHalen belts.
    33. Why did Apollo 11 take off during full #moon?… It’s an easier target.
    34. What kind of #underwear should you wear during a full moon?… Fruit of the #Moon!
    35. What is the first sport ever played on the #moon?… Capture the flag.
    36. #MardiGras Pun: #Moon #pies put me in a good ala mode!
    37. Did you hear about the #football field #NASA built on the #moon?… They used astroturf.
    38. My favorite phase of the moon is #croissant #moon!
    39. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about full moons?
    40. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good full moon knock-knock joke?
    41. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good full moon knock knock jokes? 
    42. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… #Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon?
    43. Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?… It’s right after a waxing phase!
    44. Did you hear about the hot dog stand on the #moon… The #hotdogs were out of this world, but there was absolutely no atmosphere!  
    45. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the #moon?… Because it was full!
    46. Astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours… So they called it a day.
    47. “The moon is waning. Do you think it’s sad?” Nah, it’s just going through a phase.
    48. If there’s a new moon… Then where does the old one go?
    49. What does @michaeljackson have in common with @NASA ?… It’s been decades since their first moon walk.
    50. Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when she saw the full moon?… She needed to change!
    51. When is the #moon heaviest?… When it’s full!
    52. What #dance can you see in the night sky?… The moon walk!
    53. What do you call a body of #water on the #moon?… Lunacy.
    54. There’s a lunar eclipse, the #Sun & #Moon are aligned. The Moon says “Hello Mr Sun, I don’t come across you very often!” The Sun arrogantly turns his nose up & replies, “Yes well, we move in different circles” n
    55. What is a cow’s favorite time of the month?… the full mooooooooooooooooon!
    56. Did you hear they built a nightclub on the moon?… It’s a far out location, but it lacks atmosphere.
    57. Do you think Neil was tired after flying to the #moon?… Probably not, that’s why they called him Armstrong!
    58. What is the best CD to listen to on the night of a full moon?… Full Moon Fever by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakersor Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd.
    59. What holds the moon up?… Moonbeams. 
    60. How do you know when the moon is going broke?… When it’s down to its last quarter.
    61. Three #astronauts flew to the moon. They couldn’t land. It was a full moon.
    62. How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved. 
    63. What do you call someone who turns into a building at the sight of the full moon?… A Werehouse!
    64. Why did the moon skip dinner?… It was full.
    65. Why wasn’t the #moon hungry?… Because it was full! 
    66. What do you call a #moon out of orbit?… A Lunatic! 
    67. What do you get when you take green cheese & divide its circumference by its diameter? Moon pi.
    68. “Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?”… “To get to the other side?” 
    69. Why does a #moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?… It’s a little meteor! 
    70. How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb on the moon?… None. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, you know.
    71. How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?… He #Apollo-gises.
    72. Why did the cow jump over the moon?… Because the farmer had cold hands! 
    73. Did you hear about the bones they found on the moon?… It seems like the cow did not make it. 
    74. What do you call a clock on the moon?… A lunartick. 
    75. What do moon people do when they get married?… They go off on their honeyearth!
    76. Why is an astronaut like a @NFL #football player?… They both want touchdowns! 
    77. What’s the moon goddess’ favourite James Bond movie?… Diana the Day. (or Moonraker) @007 
    78. Moon Landing After the Americans went to the Moon, the Soviets announced that they would be sending a man to the Sun. The engineers objected. “If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!” “What do you think I am, stupid?” he replied. “We’ll send him at night!” Sun or Moon?
    79. Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full!
    80. Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?… It’s right after a waxing phase!
    81. Did you hear about the hot dog stand on the moon… The hot dogs were out of this world, but there was absolutely no atmosphere.
    82. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?… Because it was full!
    83. How does the man in the moon cut his hair?… Eclipse it.
    84. Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?… The food is excellent, but there’s no atmosphere.
    85. What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?… The moon.
    86. What do you call a moon out of orbit?…  A Lunatic!
    87. Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?… It’s right after a waxing phase
    88. Why didn’t Washington make a reservation to the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
    89. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter? Moon pi.
    90. “Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?”… “To get to the other side?”
    91. Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?… It’s a little meteor!
    92. Did you hear they put a Taqueria on the moon?… Great food, but terrible atmosphere!
    93. How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb on the moon?… None. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, you know.
    94. How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?… He Apollo-gises.
    95. What squirms and howls at the moon?… Wereworms.
    96. Why did the cow jump over the moon?… Because the farmer had cold hands!
    97. Did you hear about the bones they found on the moon?… It seems like the cow did not make it.
    98. What do you call a clock on the moon?… A lunartick.
    99. What do moon peolple do when they get married?… They go off on their honey earth!
    100. Why is an astronaut like a football player?… They both want touchdowns!
    101. What kind of tick should you look out for on the full moon?… A lunatic
    102. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon pi.
    103. What’s the moon goddess’ favourite James Bond movie?… Diana the Day. (or Moonraker)Moon Landing After the Americans went to the Moon, the Soviets announced that they would be sending a man to the Sun. The engineers objected. “If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!” “What do you think I am, stupid?” he replied. “We’ll send him at night!” Sun or Moon?
    104. Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon… They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
    105. I was once bitten by a rabid female deer… Now, every time there’s a full moon, I turn into a weredoe.
    106. Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?… He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
    107. I just had the freakiest Friday the 13th…. I made it the entire day without a single person even mentioning the date. It must have been a full moon.

  • Great Ideas for Grandparents Day

    Throughout the school year there are some common and not so common days to celebrate in your classroom with your students. National Grandparents Day is September 8th, 2013
    Here are some ideas to make it a special day. We hope you enjoy!

    If you are a teacher who tutors, register with us for just $12 for a year. This is the only fee! Teachers keep 100% of the money. One of our teachers made $5,000 last year tutoring.
    Parents, “teachers are great tutors!” Find one in your area today!