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  1. Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them. (Baseball Jokes & Calculus Jokes)
  2. A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss. (Calculus Jokes & High School Jokes)
  3. How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times!”
  4. What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
  5. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive.
  6. Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to it’s limit.
  7. What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
  8. Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  9. Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
  10. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
  11. What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
  12. What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
  13. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
  14. What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An Algorithm
  15. What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?… Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!.
  16. Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
  17. Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
  18. What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?… Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
  19. What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
  20. What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
  21. Why did the calculus students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
  22. What do you call a mathematician’s bird that won’t eat?… A poly “no meal”
  23. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?…  Elephant zebra sin theta.
  24. Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.