101 February Jokes

What is a frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year. (Leap Year Jokes & Frog Jokes)
What month is the best for coffee? …. Feb – BREW – ary (Coffee Jokes)
What month is the best month to tell a lie? …. Fib -ruary
What month enjoy a beer the most?…. Feb – BREW – ary! (College Jokes & Beer Jokes)
What month is the Jake Paul’s favorite? …. Feb – BRO – ary!
What is a ghost’s favorite month?… Feb – BOO – uary. (Halloween Jokes & Ghost Jokes)

What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash. (Pig Jokes)
What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?… Ground-dog Day! (Puppy Jokes)
What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Dog Jokes)
Why don’t they let Punxsutawney Phil watch TV?… He keeps hogging the remote.
What does Punxsutawney Phil do at a party?… Go hog wild.
What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Tree Jokes)
Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?… He was having a bad lair day! (Psychology Jokes)
What is a groundhog’s favorite color?… Mahogany!
What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?… Ground Nog Day! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
What do you call a groundhog that drives recklessly?… A road hog. (Car Jokes)
What do you call a groundhog that plays basketball?… A ball hog. (Basketball Jokes)

What’s the difference between a Super Bowl quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes)
Why did the poor, rookie Super Bowl quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
What Super Bowl play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
What is Campbell’s favorite athletic event?… The “soup” er Bowl.
Why did the Super Bowl football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.
How is losing money in a payphone like the Super Bowl?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
What do you call a Super Bowl lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
Where do for Super Bowl quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture. (Cow Jokes)
What did the football say to the Super Bowl punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (College Jokes)
Losing Super Bowl Coach responding to interview question: “What do you think about the execution of your team? Coach Response: I am all in favor of it!”

February 13th: Pancake Day Jokes

Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped. (Top Psychology Jokes)
What did the young pancake say to the old burnt pancake?… I don’t like your flip side. (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
What do the New York Yankees and pancakes have in common?… They both need a good batter! (Top Baseball Jokes)
How do you make a pancake smile?… Butter him up. (180 School Jokes)
What’s the best pancake topping?… More pancakes.
How do elves eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top Christmas Jokes)
How do leprechauns eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top St. Patrick Day Jokes)
When the little boy was making pancakes why did the batter run away?… Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Did you know today is Pancake day, apparently it just creped up on us..
Thin French pancakes give me the crepes.

Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty!
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
What did one oar say to the other?… “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s all heart.
What did the pencil say to the paper?… I dot my i’s on you!
What did the light bulb say to the switch?… You turn me on.
Do you have a date for Valentines Day?… Yes, February 14th.
“I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”…“Really?”… “Yeah, you make me sick!”
What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?… Stick with me and you’ll go places!
What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?… They are all better rich! (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Coffee Day Jokes)

Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms.
What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln
What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!

February 29th: Leap Year Jokes:

What do athletes wear on Leap Day?… Jumpsuits.
Where do most people eat on Leap Day?… IHOP.
What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?… Hip Hop.
What do the Chinese call the Year of the Frog?… Leap Year.
What do you tell a hitchhiker on Leap Day?… Hop In.
What is a frog’s favorite time of year?… Leap Day.
What do you call a surgery on Leap Day?… A hop-eration.
I wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day, but I decided to jump on the band wagon.
My coworker was fired on Leap Day, apparently he picked the wrong time to jump off the deep end.
I’m going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years.